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As a bloodthirsty carnivore who eats mostly vegetarian, I leave mock meat to the professionals. I've been to a few restaurants that make superb mock meat, but the craft falls into two categories.

At places like Baoguette on St. Marks in Manhattan, the tofu-meat banh mi tastes and feels like actual meat. It feels like it has connective tissue and is served with a savory, meaty plum sauce. I prefer it to their other sandwiches.

At places like Buddha Bodai in Flushing, Queens, the mock meat makes a somewhat convincing case for meat but is better appreciated on its own terms. The texture is chewy and satisfying, but not as tender as meat (wheat gluten replicates meat's chew and tofu replicates its tenderness; I've yet to find something that replicates both). It doesn't taste like meat, but it tastes good, and provides a nice protein centerpiece when you're tired of beans.

I treat mock meat similar to the way I treat meat: mostly as something to eat on a special treat (i.e., going out to eat) when a particular item looks good or has a good reputation. Mock meat is as difficult to cook right as real meat, and most places cook it wrong. But if you're looking for a new type of culinary experience, it's an intriguing ingredient to explore. After all, it's been made for centuries and has a proud history in certain cuisines.

The only mock meat I've made at home was Upton's Naturals (a Chicago-based company which may or may not distribute outside the area) plain-style seitan chunks. I was one of four student caterers for a freshman welcome reception/cookout, and we needed a vegetarian alternative to lamb kabobs. When marinated for a few hours in soy sauce, ginger, garlic, and sugar, and grilled, it tasted on the "good" side of "okay," though nothing could tear me away from the lamb. If charred well and marinated thoroughly it is flavorful, but lacks the multi-faceted roundness and fatty mouthfeel of real meat. It was also chewy to the point of squeakiness. And for $4 for 8 ounces, I wouldn't buy it again unless I had a real craving (which I sometimes do) and a surefire technique to get the most out of it. In general I find it easier to plan vegetarian meals without the protein-centerpiece scheme of mock meat, and when serving vegetarians or vegans I prefer to serve them food that doesn't look like it's trying to replicate something they can't eat. I fear to do so would look patronizing.

when we threw a dorky (mycologist) happy hour I had some quorn nuggets. they were actually not that bad.. fungal hyphae come in handy when mimicking the meat fiber-like texture.

I am a vegetarian, working my way to vegan, and I am not a fan of mock meat products. I don't see the point, and most of it is flavored or textured with added gluten. Veggies, grains, beans, and the occasional tofu are fine for me.

Why the need for all caps? Are you that irritated, or just concerned? The idea of not eating meat or fish seems to be spazzing you out. Peace out, my friend.

I like a few of the veggie products on the market:

-Quorn chix nuggets. Surprisingly tasty and the texture is pretty close to machine-fabbed meat ones. It's the best mock meat product for this reason.

-Trader Joe's Veggie Corndogs. My guilty pleasure. The texture of the hot dog itself is a bit weird, but the cornbread taste of the coating really elevates this product closely to the real thing.

-Mock duck. I get the stuff that comes in the blue can (ok, it's from China, but this stuff has always been consistent and no apparent recalls yet). I don't expect it to taste or even texturally resemble duck, but it's got good seasoning.

-Boca burgers. Good taste (it actually has a beefy flavor), texture is ok, though you'd never mistake it for beef. As far as veggie burgers go, this one is the best.

I am an unabashed carnivore, but a food-love first and as long as I like the taste of something, I'll eat it and even crave it. I think that if you try mock meat with the expectation that it's not going to taste anything like the real stuff, you'll find that it can taste good and you could conceivably enjoy it.

In my experience the only people who think mock meats taste like real meat are people who haven't had real meat for so long they don't remember what it tastes like.

I'm not opposed to not eating meat. I'm just generally opposed to eating anything that's pretending to be something it's not.

I am not a vegetarian, but have some vegan friends. They're not huge fans of fake meats either. They said they only eat them for convenience, not taste.
I've had great success with MorningStar vegetable crumbles. They make great taco filling, sloppy joes or chili. Seitan and tofu adapt to almost any flavor profile too.

Like maxie said- mock meat is for people without taste buds.

"Why the need for all caps? Are you that irritated, or just concerned? The idea of not eating meat or fish seems to be spazzing you out. Peace out, my friend."

@Brownie... Not irritated at all... If you look at my past posts, you'll see I always use all caps. Peace, right back atcha!

Quorn mince is excellent for pasta sauce or sloppy joes. I'll even make tacos or enchiladas with them. The texture is good, but it always needs added flavour.

@tmj; I like mock meat because while I enjoy the taste and texture of meat, I have ethical concerns with the way most of it is produced. I don't understand the anger mock meat arouses in some people. Do you feel the same way about artificial sweeteners or decaf coffee?

Do not do not do not enjoy mock meat. Read the back of the package on some of the stuff and shriek at the reality of what you're eating. You're better off eating a hunk of dead animal flesh in some cases.

Tofu and tofu products are not mock meat, they are a food in themselves and aren't supposed to be imitating anything, so I consider tofu edible. It should be appreciated not as a substitute but as its own entity with its own NOT meat like qualities. (I have the same rage over people drinking soy milk as "imitation" milk. No, soy milk isn't supposed to taste like melted ice cream. It's supposed to be beige and taste like beans! If you really want milk that bad, drink the milk!)