Cooking for a family who recently lost a member.
Yesteday afternoon a long time friend and co-worker of pretty much everyone at my office died in a motorcycle accident.
Our HR department sent out a letter saying the family has requested that no one send flowers but that they would appreciate meals over the next few weeks. I would assume it's nearly impossible to cook in the aftermath of losing a spouse.
I was wondering what you all would prepare. I would assume comfort food is appropriate at this time as well as easily re-heatable meals. A schedule is being made for who donates on which day(s).
The family has 2 children in their teens. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
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17 Comments:
Easily baked items like lasagna or casseroles will probably be popular. I know people have posted recipes for these items before. Maybe a big pot of arroz con pollo? Or a bowl of salad with lots of different kinds of veggies? Or a bag of ingredients to toss into a crock pot for stew?
gingercookiewithlime at 6:57PM on 10/28/09
My family just lost my grandmother, and although it's not the same, my grandfather appreciated these the most: cold cuts & cheese with rolls, mayo, mustard, pickles (big plates of them--we have a huge family and we were all over there all day, every day, for over a week! So it was great for all of us to have easy eats); coffeecakes & muffins; lasagna. I like the idea of ingredients to throw in a crock pot, but I will confess that none of us would have been up for even that. I would definitely say keep it as simple as possible. Frozen homemade anything is ideal, since it can keep without the pressure being on to eat it right away. It's wonderful of you to pitch in and help, and ANYthing you give will be appreciated.
littlestcapy at 7:12PM on 10/28/09
Tortellini soup - great, filling, reheats well.
1 lb sausage (hot and/or sweet)
1 c chopped onion
2 cloves garlic
5 c (3 cans) beef broth
½ c dry red wine
½ c water
2 c chopped peeled canned tomatoes
½ tsp basil
½ tsp oregano
8 oz tomato sauce
1 ½ c sliced zucchini
1 c thinly sliced carrots
8 oz frozen tortellini
1 medium red pepper
1 ½ Tbsp parsley
1. Brown sausage and drain, reserving 1 Tbsp grease. Sauté onions and garlic in reserved fat.
2. Add broth, water, wine, tomatoes, carrots, basil, oregano, tomato sauce, and sausage. Simmer uncovered for 20 minutes.
3. Skim fat. Stir in zucchini, tortellini, parsley, and red pepper. Simmer covered for 35-40 minutes.
Serve with parmesan cheese.
joyyy at 7:49PM on 10/28/09
I know that I would love soups like @joyy suggests and lasagna that @gc/l suggests is so great and nutritious. Meatloafs are easy and don't forget the vegetables so salads are particularly important. You mentioned there are two teens so maybe someone that isn't inclined to cook but wants to help can see to it that pizza is ordered and delivered one night.
Sorry for everyone's loss. Time heals (corny, but true.)
janaatwg at 8:29PM on 10/28/09
When I sent meals to the firefighters after 9/11- they really appreciated non casserole, non pasta dishes. I sent roast pork loin and stuffing. Made baked chicken with olives and rice pilaf, meatballs with gravy and rolls, chicken paprikash, etc... still easy to reheat, and tasty.
julie527 at 9:23PM on 10/28/09
so tragic .... sorry..... i agree with @julie527 - i think everyone gets lasagna'd out .... a think the idea of roast pork, or roast chicken.... or even a small roast beef -- something that can be eaten as sandwiches also...
soup would be good, too.... i'm sure they are not going to be in the mood for much.... so it's got to be nutritious. and easy.
pooch at 9:42PM on 10/28/09
I always include chocolates. I usually make some kind of meal but more importantly I make a "wake bag". Chewing gum, mints, mini package of tissues, Purell, bottle of water and lots of really good chocolate. My new addition is handwipes after a friend complained that she smelled like old lady perfume from hugging so many old ladies.
Sad time. I am sorry.
PoorOldMama at 9:59PM on 10/28/09
So sad. The best thing you will be able to do is to feed them -- "what's for dinner" should be the last thing on their minds.
Jambalaya or dirty rice was always our comfort food. Makes a nice change from mac & cheese. Go easy on the spices, heavy on the vegetables and meat.
A basic meatloaf, baked chicken, roast beef and pork are all great -- good for reheating or sandwiches, too.
Tuna salad, chicken salad and a couple loaves of bread are always helpful. Don't make sandwiches ahead of time and it will last longer.
Don't forget the drinks -- a cooler full of Cokes and bottled water (fridge will be full of food). Other helpful items include coffee & filters, styrofoam or paper cups, paper plates, etc. Tins of cookies and bundt cakes for guests go over well, too.
I love the pizza idea. We've also donated gift cards from some local restaurants for a change of pace. There will be days when they will just need to get out of the house.
Editmom at 8:29AM on 10/29/09
Check to make sure the teenagers aren't vegetarians / have allergies, if you can - - vegetarian chili is great, especially if you can bring cornbread and some toppings - grated cheese, sour cream, diced scallions, etc. Peanut sesame noodles are also a crowd-pleaser, even for picky eaters. Ditto the makings of a Taco Night...
eleeb at 11:04AM on 10/29/09
When I was in a similar situation, we were usually given whatever the family that sent the food was also having for dinner that night. And usually it was one of that family's "favorites".
There was something really nice and connecting about that aspect of sharing the same meal. I got to eat a lot of delicious homemade, "crafted-with-love" type meals that I'd never had before, or were kind of different from what my family made, in some way. Kind of made us feel like we were part of a big family.
Once, someone even delivered a "taco night" in a box... all the ingredients prepared and ready to be assembled. That was really fun.
So, my suggestion is to consider making something that would be a special meal for yourself/your family, and then make a double batch, and send that over.
My sympathies to you and your community.
semarr at 11:57AM on 10/29/09
How wonderful that your group is rallying around this family in their time of need. Sending sympathy and prayers for all.
All of the suggestions are wonderful.
CJ McD at 12:46PM on 10/29/09
My deepest sympathy to you and your friends for your loss. Last time I made mourning food, oddly enough it was for a family who lost the dad in a motorcycle accident. I did a huge tray of baked ziti and meatballs. It was warmly appreciated and I considered it a great compliment to learn that the aroma of the dish wafting through the house gave the family back their appetite. I find tomato sauce to be especially "kid friendly" but I think anyone without an aversion to tomatoes would love this type of comfort food. Whatever you do will be wonderful.
therealchiffonade at 2:35PM on 10/29/09
This is one I've made frequently - a chicken and corn stew. It's a nice change from lasagna, but still freezes well if that's appropriate. I'd suggest skipping the "corn wafers" and sending some corn bread or muffins to go with the stew.
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Chicken-and-Corn-Stew-with-Corn-Wafers-12315
memt77 at 3:53PM on 10/29/09
I'm so sorry for your loss; I think it's wonderful how you are all rallying around the family during this time. In the past year, we've done 2 "food trees" for local families in similar situations -- for the first family, I made bourbon chicken with white rice: http://www.recipezaar.com/Bourbon-Chicken-45809, included a salad and dressing, and some homemade vanilla wafers; for the second (vegetarian) family, I made a large tortilla espanola, fresh bread, salad and dressing, and lemon cake. Each time, I packed up the whole meal (including disposable plates, napkins, etc.) in a paper grocery bag, and the meals were in disposable containers as well -- so that washing dishes and returning casserole containers is off the family's to-do list.
gbania at 4:28PM on 10/29/09
A bit costly, but maybe two co-workers can go in on this:
Roast a whole beef filet (or half if the family's kind of smallish). Deliver with a big bag of assorted hard rolls, a potato or pasta salad, and fresh fruit or really interesting bottled juices. Add a sumptuous homemade apple cake or pie and/or some good coffee. Also think of breakfast and visiting relatives- assorted muffins or coffeecakes are also practical.
Roast can be sliced for sandwiches or whatever. The suggestions to bring paper products are also good.
moibec at 6:14PM on 10/29/09
One more thing. Thirty years ago I lost my dad (car accident) right before Thanksgiving. (leaving 4 kids ages 15 and under). We had plenty of food delivered in the weeks following (and got sick of deli meat and lasagna big time) but it was the holidays right after (Thanksg. & Christmas) that were awfully hard. Please do remember that the deep grieving and need for food (and the comfort it brings) continues well into the year. It does taper off after that (can't say it ever really leaves you completely- it just changes into something manageable) but the first year is really tough.
moibec at 6:21PM on 10/29/09
my mom and dad died in a car wreck when i was 16, i remember lots of meals but for some reason the sweets, the homeade pies and homeade ice cream seemed to comfort me the most.
olddad at 7:26PM on 10/29/09