turkey breast...woulda, coulda, shoulda???

I purchased a frozen turkey breast the other day because I just felt like some turkey. (thank you very f'n much Jerzee Tomato). ANYWAY, I left my house at 630 am today and at 7am I send my father an email that says "take the turkey out of the freezer and put it in the kitchen sink filled with COLD water and swap it out every half hour to an hour or so. DONT put it in the sun or any weird shit like that". That is the exact email.

I get home 15 hours later and I touch said turkey. Hmmmmmm, a little too thawed to be cold water bathed. I say to him...did you put that turkey in the kitchen sink? His response? No. The bathtub. I said, the bathtub filled with cold water? No. Warm. (which probably means hot). I lost a fucking grip on reality. He thinks its no big deal.

Think it would kill him if I cooked it and fed it to him anyway?


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