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Is that suppose to say (or even eat a burger)? If so, I may have a horror of a burger served to me this weekend that could be the ultimate don't-how-to of all time. It might be hard to explain why I'm taking a photo, though...

We've been invited to what has euphamistically been called a cookout, which means we will sit outside to eat. Last time she made burgers, they contained about half the meat of a standard super-cheap slider, but not packed that densely, served on a regular-sized store bought bun. She doesn't own condiments. Or salt or pepper. They don't eat onions. There were some sliced tomatoes. You could opt for some processed cheese food atop the sad small mishapen mutant lump of meat. They were precooked and reheated in the microwave, which made them taste exactly like the mystery meat served in school cafeterias. Or maybe they were from a school cafeteria. I mean, come on, who pre-cooks burgers?

With the addition of the tomatoes, they would probably quality as an "Almost Meatless" item. It's a little weird when you look sideways at the closed bun and you see no hint that the "meat" is lurking inside.

I just can't imagine what excuse I could come up with for photographing her food. She's a wonderful woman, but cooking isn't her thing.

It's always an adventure. It's also why I invite them over for every major food holiday. I know better than to show up for any meal where gravy might be threatened.

Insane as it sounds a friend recently served me pre-made burgers from Costco which were among the best I've ever eaten. We just salted and peppered, grilled and served on Kaiser rolls (I hate sesame seeds so Kaisers are my bun of choice). Lettuce, tomato and ketchup for me, chili sauce for her and we were in beef heaven. I'm not sure what the beef/fat ratio was since the original packaging was gone but they were juicy without being greasy and had an amazing beefy flavor.

I'm probably going to head to Costco this afternoon to see if I can find some for the weekend. DH, who cooks professionally, will turn up his nose but once he tastes them I think he'll be a believer. He puts mayo on his burgers, though, which to my mind is heresy (although I knew this before our wedding and I married him anyway...)

Ha, ha, @dbcurrie - am I correct in guessing you are at the MIL?

I've been on a kick lately with adding shredded cheese to lean ground beef or turkey (about a cup to each pound). It kind of defeats the purpose of using the lean meat, but adds a lot of flavor (I like smoked jack or mozzarella) and moisture. Although, I do have some Gorgonzola to use up. Hmmm...

I feel like you can't really go wrong with any topping combo on your burger, as long as the burger's done right. Large, slightly flattened patties from some fatty chuck (no 90/10 here) and sprinkled with pepper and a little garlic salt.

@bareneed :-)

On the plus side, she said that she would be serving hot dogs, which are pretty hard to mess up. And potato chips. This is sooooo much better than a meal where gravy or vegetables might be invited. But I'm sure there will be a story afterwards.

I experiment with different with different cuts of meat and have been stuck on boneless beef short ribs and flap meat (sirloin tips); makes the most wonderful burger and yes, you cannot handle these very much. I have had rave reviews and even won a hamburger throwdown with the recipe!

You just reminded me of my mother's burgers for dinner. Never thought of them as such, but they really were like "mini meat loaves." She would serve two patties with rice, salad greens, and Japanese pickled vegetables on a platter.

The ground beef patties were 3" in diameter and had a sparse amount chopped onions, still too much for me. I would top it with a little bit of ketchup, mainly so I could kill the flavor of the onions. The crunch, on the other hand, used to turn my stomach. Despite my longstanding hatred for still crunchy onions, they were good.

My husband was thinking of something along those lines for this WC&T, adding lemongrass and curry powder to the meat, and has recommended I do this with chicken instead of beef.

I've gotten fed up with dry, tasteless, overcooked beef burgers. So the other day I bought myself some ground pork (in the non-compressed box shaped packaging), heated a skillet on high on the stove, gently formed the meat into quarter pound patties, seared them on the first side, flipped the burgers, covered the skillet to capture the smoke they were now putting off, and cooked them to medium.

I happen to like them salted, peppered, lightly sprinkled with brown sugar, dressed with ketchup and onion on a whole grain roll.

I made the hamburger buns from last week's NY Times http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/01/dining/011brex.html
If you have a stand mixer you will never buy a store bought bun again. They were that good and that easy.

I went with a Blue Cheese Turkey Burger. It was pretty awesome!