Do Singles Bars Exist in NYC?
I am in my mid-twenties and wondering where a young, single woman should go to meet someone? Since I'm not interested in going to either dive/taverns, sports, or fratboy bars - does such a place exist?
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21 Comments:
i'm not exactly certain what you're looking for and i'm not being snarky but it sort of sounds that the type of "singles bar" you are looking for only exist in tv shows...
bobbob at 12:55PM on 07/27/09
i'm having deja vu-wasn't this already posted?
the 'singles' bars are pretty much those very dives, taverns, sports & frat bars you mentioned.
you don't wanna meet some dude at a bar anyway.
why don't you try going to the library or a museum?
gastronomeg at 1:48PM on 07/27/09
@gastonomeg - I've met lots of young, eligible men at bars, but I can count on one had the number of young, datable men I've met at libraries and museums. I see a lot of 40-somethings at those locations and neither libraries nor museums are very conducive to starting a conversation.
@andrea - I don't live in NYC so I can't name specific bars, but check out the local music scene, find a few bands you like, and follow them when they play local bars. Even if the bars aren't your type, the bands will at least attract other people who have similar taste in music as you. If you like the same music, you'll probably have some other things in common with a few other patrons. And the band is a good conversation starter.
ProfessorChaos at 1:58PM on 07/27/09
The Great Lawn in Central Park is a good way to meet cute guys. I'm not sure a bar is the best place, though if you want to go that route I would head for the type of bar that might host the type of guy you are interested in meeting. There aren't any 'singles' bars that I am aware of - you may want to join a club or something as a way to meet new people.
laurelie at 2:12PM on 07/27/09
eHarmony love, eHarmony
morebaconplease at 4:58PM on 07/27/09
I've also heard of people having luck taking classes--cooking classes etc.--because people with similar interests flock to those things. Maybe find one for twenty-somethings? A wine tasting/cheese tasting or something similar? These sorts of affairs offer more opportunity for conversation but aren't your typical bar/club scene.
thedilettantista at 6:17PM on 07/27/09
as a frequent attender of NYC cooking classes (hey--I do the listings here, right?) I can say it can be unbearably hard to meet an eligible bachelor at a class. in most I've been to, there are couples, other women (young and old), but doesn't seem to be the single man on his own. if you're looking for a food buddy, by all means there are plenty. and adorable older women who love to make conversation.
maybe you should try a class that might draw more men.... butchering, beer, knife skills, maybe? who knows. yes it's playing into gender roles but I'm convincing myself it's a good idea.
Allison Hemler at 6:41PM on 07/27/09
Thanks all - I'm not looking for a "mate" or even a serious boyfriend. What I would am seeking to find is a bar out there, where I can go, have a drink/dinner, and be able to hold a conversation with someone without it automatically leading to a drunken fest (slight exaggeration, but just to emphasize my point).
andrearode at 10:49PM on 07/27/09
I don't know if places like that actually exist, but if they do anywhere, I'm sure they'd be in NYC.
But I've been single for something like 80% of the past five years, so I'm the wrong person to ask... bars are fine for meeting people, sure, but I'm not actually into bars. I generally hang out at libraries and museums and coffee shops, but I've never actually had any women seem to notice me there.
I've been to a few classes, which have been fine for learning things, but they've mostly been filled with bored older people.
Rdour at 12:03AM on 07/28/09
I get talked to a lot when I take my dog for a walk. It's mostly because you don't really see that many shiba inu around. Both men and women always come up to me, when I'm alone and when I'm with my husband. Girls and women flock to my husband when he's alone with the dog. Our neighborhood is extremely dog friendly so most of the restaurants/shops allow you to take your dog...
Cassaendra at 7:27AM on 07/28/09
Do the opposite of going to a 'singles' bar. Go to a nice, quiet, cocktail bar right after work and sit at the bar. Places like Death & Co., PDT, Dark Star, etc. These type of small and quiet cocktail places tend to have rules against guys mashing on gals, so you can control the scene. Stay for a cocktail or two and see who you can get into a great a conversation with. I have met some of the nicest ladies while doing this, so it should work the other way around. It's very low key, and you tend not to meet drunks or yahoos in these types of places as well.
JMForester at 8:32AM on 07/28/09
Jmforester has some good points. After work might be a better time to meet people. Later at night people tend to be out at bars to "get their drink on".
bobbob at 9:15AM on 07/28/09
Andrearode, if you want to meet guys, I suggest you move out of New York. There are basically 81 single men for 100 single women, and that includes the gay ones and shut-ins.
A friend of mine did meet her husband at a wine tasting in New York, and she did most of the pursuit - she placed an order through him (he worked at the wine store), found out if he was single, asked him out.
Social life has broken down, most men are rightfully content to make women make most of the moves, so good luck out there. Several civilized bars, like L'Acajou, did not survive the smoking ban, unfortunately. The most friendly bar I've been to recently is the Avery Fisher Hall bar, before New York Philharmonic concerts, but it's an older crowd, though devoid of fratboys and a sports TV, and is too expensive to be considered a dive.
Ortolan at 1:53PM on 07/28/09
I am quite surprised at the lack of reliable and useful answers to your post. From a male point of view (who fits your age/demographic profile most likely), I can tell you there are any number of reliable establishments to meet and socialize with members of the opposite sex that you would deem “acceptable”, and feel ok going in solo. As it is hard to tell exactly what you are looking for, I can name a few places that would be of interest after subtracting the “frat/dive” bar subset. I am personally biased toward the W Village/G Village areas, so my suggestions will skew in that direction, here are a few worth looking into. Just to note, most of these places also serve food, but function equally as a bar scene.
1. Employees Only – generally attractive, well healed crowd, doorman keeps ratio in check later in the evening, the epitome of a meatmarket.
2. Spotted Pig – although “tavern” like, crowd is diverse, music good, gets jammed, so could be awkward if you don’t have a seat at one of the bars, however there is a good flow of traffic through-out the night, so you will get hit on just sitting there doing nothing.
3. Wilfie & Nell – another “yuppy” like place, but none the less a singles scene prevails.
4. Jane Hotel – new, trendy, somewhat diverse crowd.
5. Rusty Knot – expect the same crowd as the first places, maybe a bit younger
6.Freemans – restaurant, decent bar scene
7. Schillers – sit at the bar
I’ve excluded wine bars, as you are not as likely to meet single guys just hanging out, although I enjoy these places immensely, I would consider myself not the “norm”, if you were to go to one, try Gottino.
TEdward at 4:46PM on 07/28/09
do Cougar Bars exist in NYC?
nataliepo at 6:48PM on 07/28/09
nataliepo,
In a city with a population of over 8MM people, I am certain you can find a bar of almost any kind, in fact I would lay claim that NYC more than rivals any other city in the world for "variety", whether straight or crooked.
Although not a "cougar" bar connoissuer, I can tell you that most lie north of 14th street, mainly in the UES vicinity. For instance 212, the old Lennox Room (now T Bar I think), maybe Merchant if that's still around, Whiskey Blue, Stone Rose yadda yadda yadda.
Downtown your best bets are the more established places, Balthazar being the most well known I would say, but you can find yourself in a precarious situation at the bar upfront at Otto, Tribeca Grand, Thompson Hotel to name a few . . .
TEdward at 9:18PM on 07/28/09
@TEdward: Yes! Thanks. These suggestions are (finally) exactly what I was looking/hoping for.
andrearode at 11:51PM on 07/28/09
I'm young 20's/F and I agree with many of TEdwards spots.
I'll also throw in Monkey Bar, Flatiron Lounge, Spitzer's Corner, Park Bar, Spring Lounge.
Trial and error is probably the best approach since I am not unsure of the company you wish to keep! Good luck!
JacquelineS at 8:56PM on 07/29/09
TEdward speaks the truth, and compiles a good list. Though if you are looking for the type of guy who goes to pick up girls at Employees Only I can only have sympathy on you. I like Wilfie and Nell out of the bunch.
thesteveroller at 10:48AM on 07/30/09
Reverse question: what's a good place for guys to meet interesting, cheeky, intelligent women?
I'm a guy in my 40's (single, not unattractive, employed). I want a place where I can actually hear the woman and maybe even get to know her.
When I was out west I was amazed at how easy it is to just mingle and talk with people. Here it seems harder.
Suggestions?
Thomas_Traveler at 8:28PM on 08/05/09
I second Thomas_Traveler's post... as a 40-year-old (not unattractive, employed, divorced) woman who would love to meet a guy in his 40s and hasn't a clue where to start. Where do decent single or divorced men in their 40s hang out? Is TEdward's list valid for someone like me?
ProducerChick at 12:19PM on 09/29/09