Cookout Etiquette

Ok. So, I know that this has been brought up before, but I can't seem to find the thread that will answer this question:

What is the proper etiquette for a grilling party? I'm a college student and recently, a few friends and I have been going to some really uncomfortable parties. All of them, we were asked to bring our own mains (which was totally acceptable), one of them we were asked to bring our own chairs (which is just silly), and one of them we were asked to bring everything from plates to ice!

At this point, we are all totally confused on how to function at these bbq parties and we were thinking about hosting our own, but we don't want to infringe on other peoples...personal beliefs. In MY opinion, the host should provide some meats, some drinks, some sides, and definitely at least chairs and plates; and that guests should know to bring sides, meats, and whatever else they'd like to share. I guess really, we're trying to venture into more "grown up" parties, since we're about to graduate soon and move on into the real world.

How do you guys go about this?

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