Food

Food jokes and parody: 5th grade boys seem to excel at this

"Practice safe lunch; please use a condiment," was the joke my 5th grade son told me that had his friends cracking up around the table at lunch today. Pretty amusing, is what I thought, and he is a bit of a clown who has some of the skateboarding Bart Simpson character quirks; and it made me smile, as I thought about how effective some of the safe sex commercials have to be for him to make that connection.

It also made me think of my older son when he was in fifth grade. He and his friends treated me and the neighbors to a rousing rendition of Roy Orbison's "Pretty Woman" but it involved a chicken patty. It went something like this:
Chicken patty, walkin’ down the street
Chicken patty, the kind I like to eat
Chicken patty…
I can’t believe it can’t be true
No one could taste as good as you.
Mercy—rrrowwl.
The neighbors and a couple walking their dog applauded their hilarity which of course led to more clowning around.

There's an odd, off color phrase going around among the middle/high school crowd. "Poop on a stick" is used in moments of frustration, such as when parents (yes, me and my husband) are beating the pants off the boys in our very vocal and competitve foozball tournaments. I sunk to a level lower, (hangs head in shame), and said, "I think you mean shit-kabob." To which my husband choked and almost spit out the beer he was drinking. The kids were surprized that mom could actually crack a good, somewhat naughty joke.

What food puns and parodies and jokes do you guys have?

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