Food jokes and parody: 5th grade boys seem to excel at this
"Practice safe lunch; please use a condiment," was the joke my 5th grade son told me that had his friends cracking up around the table at lunch today. Pretty amusing, is what I thought, and he is a bit of a clown who has some of the skateboarding Bart Simpson character quirks; and it made me smile, as I thought about how effective some of the safe sex commercials have to be for him to make that connection.
It also made me think of my older son when he was in fifth grade. He and his friends treated me and the neighbors to a rousing rendition of Roy Orbison's "Pretty Woman" but it involved a chicken patty. It went something like this:
Chicken patty, walkin’ down the street
Chicken patty, the kind I like to eat
Chicken patty…
I can’t believe it can’t be true
No one could taste as good as you.
Mercy—rrrowwl.
The neighbors and a couple walking their dog applauded their hilarity which of course led to more clowning around.
There's an odd, off color phrase going around among the middle/high school crowd. "Poop on a stick" is used in moments of frustration, such as when parents (yes, me and my husband) are beating the pants off the boys in our very vocal and competitve foozball tournaments. I sunk to a level lower, (hangs head in shame), and said, "I think you mean shit-kabob." To which my husband choked and almost spit out the beer he was drinking. The kids were surprized that mom could actually crack a good, somewhat naughty joke.
What food puns and parodies and jokes do you guys have?
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9 Comments:
And may I add, that I am talking about the two pranksters who have made me ban the Subway Five Dollar Foot Long jingle from our house. Some of you might remember that comment from a post about commercials/jingles that are stuck in your head. Sigh...boys.
dhorst at 9:57PM on 03/02/09
I must admit that the subway jingle is alive and kickin here at this house too. My nephew and nieces used to the the raisin dance to the song "I heard it through the grapevine", that was pretty funny.
pjracz10 at 10:42PM on 03/02/09
My friends used to get endless amusement out of the word "masticate."
"I just bought a hot dog, so I'm going to go use it to masticate."
"I prefer sausages for my mastication."
"Forget masticating, I'd rather get to the point and swallow."
And so on and so forth. Ooh yeah, we were really mature. And this wasn't 5th grade boys either...this was junior high girls. And I'm not even sure we've grown up YET.
The shit-kabob thing is fantastic though. At least I'm not the only person who still has a sense of humor on par with a teenage boy!
cycorider at 11:44PM on 03/02/09
ever wonder what BONELESS CHUCK looks like in a bathing suit?
pooch at 9:07AM on 03/03/09
At my high school, they used to sell something called a 'Chocodile,' essentially a single, chocolate-covered Twinkee that I haven't seen packaged since.
Of course, all of the boys called them 'Choco-dildos'
There was also the guy who would eat the actually very tasty egg, cheese, and biscuit sandwiches in my morning study hall as if he was...well, let's say, lots of tongue action was involved.
HeartofGlass at 9:54AM on 03/03/09
Oh Pooch! Flippin' hysterical. I seriously peed my pants. Gotta get that checked...
floridagirl at 5:28PM on 03/03/09
Well, my children were much more innocent when they were young; at least when I was around.
One night we all came home for a late dinner. Our microwave had died long before, and there was not much but leftover roast beef. Did I make sandwiches? No; I reheated the beef in a skillet. Of course, all the succulent pinkness disappeared.
After dinner, my young son (about 10 or 11?) turned to his dad and said, "Can I have dessert now? I ate all my beef cards."
Next day my husband replaced the microwave.
gentlyferal at 10:10PM on 03/03/09
Balls in my mouth! Wanna see?
http://makingitwithmeleyna.com/?p=226
meleyna at 11:31PM on 03/03/09
It's only tangentially food related, but my elementary school-aged niece once chanted, "Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater, spit the seeds out of his peter." And I laughed and asked her if she knew what a peter was and she very sheepishly admitted that she did. When I asked her where she learned it, she said, "At school. All the kids say it."
Tokyorosa at 12:48AM on 03/04/09