Changing your mind about a restaurant...after you've arrived.
So, last night the BF and I went to a new (open for a few weeks) Caribbean restaurant that had just opened up in our town--or, that was the intention. We arrived to find the restaurant open (it was about 7:45pm) but not a SOUL inside.
We peeked in the windows and saw that there were no customers. Which is not a great sign, but considering it was a new place, and it was Monday--perhaps not totally surprising. We peeked our head in, thinking perhaps we'd see what kind of response we got. Unfortunately I noticed two things immediately. 1) there was no one there to greet us-- we could hear laughing and talking in the back and 2) despite curry being front and centre on the menu and there being an open kitchen--no discernible smells of food were evident. In my experience with hole in the wall places, this meant either we were about to wait FOREVER for food, or something frozen was about to be thrown in a pan and reheated.
We looked at one another--shook our heads and eased quietly out the door. We were in the the car before I noticed a head popping round the corner from the kitchen.
My question is--what do you Eaters do in this type of situation? where you walk into a restaurant with good intentions and something, either vibe or ambiance or whatever puts you off.
I've no problem walking into an establishment and (if not posted outside) asking to see a menu before being seated and changing my mind. But I wasn't really sure what to do in that situation. I felt badly, clearly the restaurant is struggling, but on the other hand--I do not want to be eating food from a place with such low turnover.
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29 Comments:
I've done it before and will do it again. If I don't want to eat in a place for whatever reason after I've arrived, I will politely say thank you and leave. If something about the place is really bugging me there is no way I'm going to eat there and then have to pay for it. Life's too short.
Pointy at 4:33PM on 03/10/09
It is so strange that you posted this today, as I almost posted something just like it. DH and I had every intention of hitting a new Chinese place in town for lunch a few days ago, and when we pulled up we saw that it was pretty much empty and the menu was meh...so we turned and left and picked a place we knew we loved. In this economy, when eating out is such a rare treat for us, we just couldn't risk wasting our precious pennies on a less than perfect lunch out.
juliebugsmama at 4:33PM on 03/10/09
My GF and I encountered this recently. We went to a restaurant/pub hoping for some good fish and chips. We were greeted by a wall of smoke. It probably shouldn't have been surprising, but we decided to go somewhere where we could breathe instead.
But we didn't feel badly for the place...they were packed...and we decided to go back for a lunch some time. God...we're old.
lawofmurphy at 4:35PM on 03/10/09
I know that when my BF and I do get the chance to go out together, that we want in to be a good experience. I agree with julie that with the economy the way that it is right now, that if we're going to go out and eat, we want to make it a good decision and something that we're going to enjoy. I've worked in the restaurant industry for ten years and have seen many different things that will likely start setting off alarms in my head. Open kitchen and no great smells, or even not to great smells...not good. Why risk eating a bad meal when there are so many great ones to be had elsewhere.
coleqt29 at 4:39PM on 03/10/09
Yes, this happens to me from time to time. I hope you don't feel too guilty about it. You are allowed to change your mind!
Kerosena at 4:43PM on 03/10/09
I do exactly the same thing. If you get a bad vibe when you walk into a place, chances are your experience will match it. Follow your instincts.
therealchiffonade at 4:45PM on 03/10/09
I think you acted fine in this situation. If you had been seated when you decided not to eat there, it would be a different situation. Once you get seated, you have to order something, in my opinion. Whenever I'm dubious of a new place, I let the host know that I'm "just checking out the menu," which gives me a minute or two to decide whether to sit down and allows for a polite exit.
Embackus at 4:46PM on 03/10/09
I've been in this situation a handful of times and, in almost every case, I've regretted staying. I don't really know any graceful ways to remove myself from the situation, so until I figure one out, it's a price I'll pay for trying out new places. Unfortunately, in my neighborhood, the host(esse)s are always too eager to greet and seat me to slip out quietly.
popcornfordinner at 4:51PM on 03/10/09
I think you made a good choice. I have serious regrets about staying and eating at places that my first instinct was to walk right out of.
Embackus- I generally agree that you need to order something once you have been seated with some exceptions. For instance I went to a new restaurant once that needed to work out some kinks with its service. My BF and I waited 20 minutes to be seated and when we finally were we literally did not see a server (or even have our drink order taken!) for 30 minutes. We had plans at a specific time that evening so when the waiter finally arrive we apologized and told him we didn't have time to stay. The restaurant improved with time though and I've been back there many times since and haven't had the problem again.
swampyankee at 4:55PM on 03/10/09
It is your money and you should never feel guilt when deciding how to spend it. You earned it and you should enjoy how, where and when you spend it.
GrimChef at 4:56PM on 03/10/09
@swampyankee, I've been in that situation too. Walking out for lack of service when you have somewhere to be is totally fine. One time my dad and I waited for 45 minutes after being seated to have a server show up at a Lebanese restuarant. My dad claimed they knew we were Jewish and told everyone not to eat there because they are racist. I doubt this was the case, but it makes a god story:)
Embackus at 5:04PM on 03/10/09
I would do eaxctly as you did... if I do not get a good vibe, I just excuse myself without giving too much explanations and leave. The least explanations the better...
I use as a barometer that a place is nicely filled to gauge if the food is good. And if the food is exotic, if people from that region/country eat there too. I went once to the BEST Vietnamese restaurant I have even gone to in Arlington VA (there's this street filled with international restaurants, really cute) because it was the restaurant with the best vibe, it was full and full of Asian people... the food was AMAZING!!!
will never forget that serendipitous find...
MadelynRodriguez at 5:15PM on 03/10/09
Thanks for all the responses! I guess I felt bad for them. I did want to try the food--at some point, if for no other reason than I'm homesick and some Caribbean style curry I didn't have to cook would perk me up. I just felt bad that the place seemed so--- doomed.
The business model seems hopeless. They are competing with way too many restaurants on the strip they have selected/ have a HORRIBLE name--do you think yummy Caribbean food when you hear "Flavour City"?
Part of me wanted to talk to the people to find out something about them and even to offer a bit of advice--how about offering some specials?--a tasting menu?--customer service? But I knew that there would be NO way I could slink away after that.
BananaMonkey at 5:22PM on 03/10/09
If they are really doing poorly (and they are smart business people), then they will start offering specials and discounts and if the price finally gets low enough, maybe you can give them a chance by ordering some takeout. Try not to feel bad - the restaurant business is risky and people getting into that have to realize it.
I've walked out of a restaurant due to horrendous service twice, even after drinks and another person's food had already arrived. I felt justified in doing so because services were not being rendered and we had waited a full hour for cold sandwiches and they hadn't arrived. Would you pay a hair stylist the full charge for cutting just half the hair on your head? Just remember that a restaurant is a business, not a charity.
laurelie at 5:38PM on 03/10/09
I think it might be helpful if you have a free moment to maybe send them a note and say exactly what you've put on here. They may have great food and just bad business sense. Or they may have suck food and bad business sense, but I think I would at least give them the opportunity to prove themselves.
I would send a letter with some recommendations, and then try back in a week or two maybe during the day for lunch.
You've got to feel sorry for people trying to start a business right now in this economy, i'm sure they would welcome the advice.
floridayaya at 6:21PM on 03/10/09
There was a place that used to be nice many years ago in NJ called The Clam Hut. Last year I went with my dad (he loves fish). The menus were sticky, the bathroom was filthy, and no one came to take our order in the empty restaurant. We left without ordering. Life is too short to waste on bad meals, money too scarce, and I'm sorry, I'm not nice enough to write a helpful letter of apology to the owner.
HeartofGlass at 7:12PM on 03/10/09
recently my husband and I walked into an Applebee's to find that it was one gigantic smoking section. also, no greeter/hostess, anywhere. we walked right out, and I didn't feel bad.
many years ago, when we were poor college students, we got stranded in Chicago with enough money for dinner and greyhound tickets home. We asked a Doorman to recomend a resturant, and he did, and we were able to find it. the hostess seats us, hands us menus, and says a waitress will be by shortly for our drink menu. we looked at the menus to find we couldn't even afford the appetizers at this resturant. before anyone could come by for our drink orders, we snuck away. i felt a little bad. i think we ended up getting fast food at the greyhound station.
redhead at 7:55PM on 03/10/09
RE: My dad claimed they knew we were Jewish and told everyone not to eat there because they are racist. I doubt this was the case, but it makes a god story:)
I'm not sure why an unsubstantiated accusation makes for a god or a good story. Sometimes service is just poor (like at all those Denny's that have been sued with or without cause) and without any malice. Your father should be ashamed of spreading such rumors that could impact the viability of a small business such as that. Next time, try asking when you might be seated or simply walking out before too much time goes by.
steveTV at 8:13PM on 03/10/09
@steveTV-- Not saying that an unsubstantiated theory is a good story, but I've had similar instances at Denny's and Krystal. My husband and I have been passed over for service for people of the employee's own race. Needless to say, we don't bother with either of these restaurants any more. But, generally poor service is a result of incompetence and toughtlessness rather than malice.
beth1 at 8:41PM on 03/10/09
It might be worth a quick note to the owners of the place. For all we know, the owner could have taken an hour or so off to run errands, and the employees were goofing around while customers wandered in and left repeatedly because no one was in front to greet them.
dbcurrie at 8:55PM on 03/10/09
There have been times when I've gone into a restaurant and when I got the menu found that it was significantly out of what I could afford. I've quietly folded the menu and left, having disturbed as little as possible, and mentioned quietly to the host on the way out that, unfortunately, I needed to find a more modest menu.
Here in Seattle we no longer have the smoking problem [except for out on the sidewalk, which indeed will stop me from even approaching a restaurant. For years the closest Chinese carry-out was delivery or carry-out only for me, because the smoke was so bad I had to hold my breath picking up my order AND it was filled with very drunk karaoke seven nights a week. This long after the smoking ban was enacted I still don't think they've got the nicotine stink out of their wallpaper and rugs.
Nursie at 9:27PM on 03/10/09
You don't owe an explanation, but if you want to ease the uneasiness, cell phones were invented for this situation! Flip open your phone, check an incoming "call" or "message" (neither real), and say you gotta go. You can be a limo driver with an airport run; a midwife with a delivery on the way; a dentist with an emergency root canal to do. Get creative! (Dharma and her neighbor did this all the time on Dharma and Greg. Ugh, I'm really old!!!)
serious1 at 11:20PM on 03/10/09
When my DH and I were in Meissen, Germany last summer, we stopped by a small patio to sit and have lunch. When the waitress came out and brought the menus, we realized that the prices were way too expensive and the food was way too heavy for a lunch on a hot day (roast and dumplings, etc). We had already ordered a few drinks by the time we noticed the menus, so we finished our drinks while deciding what to do. While sitting there, we saw a bunch of people walking out of the restaurant next door with delicious looking pizza. So we downed our beers and moved to the restaurant next door. The pizza was delicious! But the waitress from the restaurant next door saw us walking out with pizza. We felt bad, but who really wants to eat roast and dumplings on a hot afternoon?
I agree with those above. In the end, it was well worth leaving the first restaurant for the second, even if we did get "caught" by the waitress.
cickert at 11:39PM on 03/10/09
I don't blame you at all for leaving. I had an experience last year with an upscale restaurant here . . . a friend and I were meeting for lunch at 1:30--I had been to this place several times before (and it was quite good) and knew they were open for lunch until 2:00pm (which was also posted on the door). However, we walked in and no one greeted us, but we could see the staff talking off to the side. I went over finally and said "Ummm, could we be seated please" and was told that they were closed for lunch. I said well the sign says until 2:00pm and was told that since no one had come in for lunch in the past 20 minutes they decided to close early. I asked if we could just get some iced tea and a cup of soup and salad or something and was told NO. Not only was this disappointing, but I felt it was very rude. So I emailed the manager and he apologized profusely, but did not offer any consolation (i.e., free dessert or anything) for our next visit. He just said he would speak to the staff to be sure it didn't happen again. However, I just can't get over my resentment about it and have not been back. I guess this comment is a bit off from the original post, but my point is you should go with what you feel about a place and if you get bad vibes, don't stay (or go back).
gourmetgal at 12:10AM on 03/11/09
I have called to let the people know why I left sometimes... or left them a note on the front desk. Having to wait because they are cooking your food is not a bad thing, imo. If its a new place for a type of food you are desperate for, you might want to call and order take-out to judge their food at your convenience.
blizcheetah at 12:25AM on 03/11/09
i have no qualms about busting out. you did the right thing.
gastronomeg at 1:06AM on 03/11/09
You got to do what you got to do. Often I have gone to a brand new restaurant where there are no customers and will go anyways to check out the menu and if looks good then i will eat there. I have found many hidden gems that way.
pjracz10 at 6:04AM on 03/11/09
We go out to eat a lot and we still walk out if we're not satisfied with some aspect, e.g., crappy service, even restaurants we've gone to before.
We're usually not too surprised about items on a menu at a new place, since we check online before we drive out to the restaurant. We will not go to restaurant that doesn't have a website unless someone we know swears by their food. We take strangers' advice with a mound of salt. If the restaurant can't bother to have the business sense in 2009 to spend $20/mo or less to post a simple menu online, I won't bother to be surprised.
Cassaendra at 12:06PM on 03/11/09
@steveTV, no need to get in a huff about it. My father isn't a particularly influential person, and people who know him (ie the people he told the story to), know most of his wacky anecdotes aren't serious. We actually were seated, brought drinks by our waiter, then ignored us for 45 minutes, at which point we put cash on the table for the drinks and left. You'll be happy to know that this restaurant did just fine, and my parents actually ate there several months after my initial visit.
Lighten up buddy!
Embackus at 4:08PM on 03/11/09