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My peeve is getting seated near the door in the winter, so everytime that door opens a gust of cold air come right over to me, have to eat with my coat on. At the same time in the summer when I get seated directly below an air conditioner that is 5 below zero and the air blows down on me drying my eyes and throat out. Again I have to wear my summer sweater.

I feel very spoilt now...my "worst" table was in the middle/by the wall of a particular restaurant as opposed to the lovely tables by the window with a beautiful marina view.

as long as im not seated near the bathroom or right by the kitchen entrance all is well

Worst seat for me other than near the bathroom and hearing the toilet flushing is at or NEAR the bar, pre-smoking ban and current. I hate smelling alcohol and how deafening the din gets. W-T-F the person is sitting right next to you, why do you have to scream. Jeez. We do ask to have our seat changed, even if it means waiting another 45 minutes.

If there's a kid in the next table/booth, I have my husband sit next to them. We should have our seat changed because of our quick tempers, but I am kind of brutal and let my husband deal with the kicking his chair back or leg, hair pulling, screaming in his ear, running around, getting pelted by food. I sit on the opposite side.

I HATE unruly kids and their stupid parents. I have kicked kids feet from under them when they've run by me, so it is better that *I* don't have to deal with it and have my husband deal with it, even when it's the restaurant owner's screaming kid/family. As short tempered as my husband is, I'm surprised he hasn't picked a kid up by its neck when he's been hit on the head, TBH.

Sitting out where the server doesn't know you exist sucks, like behind a wall of the main dining room, in a corner. However, I feel that lack of service is a result of having a bad server. My husband is very easy to please, except he gets ticked off when his drink runs to the bottom for more than 5 minutes, esp. when the restaurant is empty. When that happens, we leave no tip.

Sitting near the ac is a big plus for us in the summer. I actually ask the host/ess to change our seating next to the floor or ceiling vent where it blows the strongest. Sitting near the door during winter isn't that great, but not something I'll be ticked off about.

I can't stand sitting under an AC vent or fan, as well as near a door in the winter. And of course near bathrooms. I believe that a restaurant that insists on putting tables near the toilets is poorly planned. But, as a cook, I don't mind being near the kitchen, especially an open one. I like to watch my fellow line slaves at work (however, I don't like to be watched too closely while I'm cooking so maybe I should reconsider...)
And near a server station is the worst. I hate having to overhear inane server chat. I get enough of that at work.

Um, wow. While I agree that parents should not bring children to restaurants if they're not capable of decent public behaviour, some of the lists of specific requests above tell me there hasn't been any time working the floor.

While restaurants are in the business of hospitality, they have a responsibility to make sure that as many people as possible have as an enjoyable experience while still trying to make some money. This means planning sections and staffing to reflect the expectations of the seating [this is why reservations are important, but that's another thread]. Some restaurants are also at the mercy of architecture. Try as you might, there are only going to be x amount of window seats available or x amount of seats away from the not-so-desirable areas. Yes, screens and clever baffles go a long way into enhancing the ambiance, but like it or not, there's always going to be table envy.

While working as a hostess/manager, I've been asked by guests to seat them in rooms that are obviously closed [the lights dimmed, no candles lit, no one else is in there]. I've moved guests because of temperature, noise levels, offensive art [they didn't like the color orange; it was too "aggressive"] and the proximity of children. I've done this all on the fly, trying to make sure that this doesn't throw the servers and assistants off their game, because if they end up in the weeds because of musical chairs, then all of the guests suffer.

All I can say is, look around the restaurant. Every one there - including the staff - really wants to have an enjoyable experience. In order to make this happen, it's got to be something of group experience. Oh, and Cassaendra, as much as I secretly applaud you for tripping the out-of-control child, I'd rethink ever doing that again. It happened in on of my restaurants and the perpetrating patron got sued The restaurant was not held liable for her actions, but several of the staff - including me - were deposed regarding her actions.

Look, I dine out as much as anyone. I spend good money with the idea that the restaurant is going to show me a better time in their house than I can in mine. While I'd like everytime to be perfect, I know that there are so many factors that go on in producing my whole meal experience that sometimes things go awry. What I've found is that, by being accommodating on those nights when things are going sideways, the next time I go back, I'm treated like a queen.

Just a thought...if parents of small children should never dine out as a family, maybe those who are bothered by the rest of humanity in a public space should likewise dine at home. I'm all for manners, and right-time-right-place, but sheesh!

Cassaendra, you've kicked childrens' feet out from under them when they run by you? Are you aware that this is a despicable act that is also illegal (assault--possibly felonious)? Do you also kick small animals when they somehow annoy you?

Would you/ have you done the same thing to an adult who is capable of defending themself-- or do you just physically assault those who can't defend themselves?

If you cannot control your violent rage around children you should either stay at home or get some help.

One worst table comes to mind... only because it can be over 100 in the summer, this one sits right underneath the AC vent. It's a great table, but it's arctic even in the summer. But, if you want to eat at 7 on a Thursday, it's a safe bet that that spot'll be open.

Ah, MaresyDotes--I do love the term lactivist--that's a new one for me. My kids are much older now and hopefully things really have changed for mothers nursing their babies in public. I bring it up because in the mid to late 90's I had some very direct comments thrown at me. And even today I hear people complaining about how so and so ruined their dining experience by nursing in public. Jeez...why don't they pay attention to their food and their dining company? I at least try not to rant (sorry smokers, my dad's one and I love him dearly), about all the people that ignore the no smoking from 25-50-100 foot area among some public places. Pet peeve though.

@nisung2: Odd you should mention the dog bit, since I have kicked a dog before because I was "annoyed" with it. While we were walking our puppy in our neighborhood, an unleashed boxer ran down the street and chased her around in a circle around my husband. It was obvious she wanted nothing to do with the dog, since she's extremely (overly) friendly w/ humans, cats, and dogs. We stomped and yelled at the dog, which did nothing. I quickly kicked the dog, hitting its shoulder, while my husband pulled on her leash to fling her up into the air, and grabbed her in his arms. The dog fortunately ran off instead of attacking further. There were 4-5 other people around us walking about. I doubt they even knew what happened as it all happened in a matter of seconds. We continued walking home.

Would I trip an adult if they were running around the table, pulling hair, flinging food, and screaming at the top of their lungs in a restaurant, who is not mentally challenged, but probably obnoxiously drunk? Maybe...never ran into that situation before. I have a feeling they'd trip over themselves first tho-.

Haha sorry for the rant. I guess I was just a little wound up at the time. But Im happy to report that I feel much more relaxed now.

@brooke29--you just hit on my number one pet peeve at a restaurant! Water refills--I too drink a lot of water with my meal--on the rare occasion I order wine, I also order water, too. I have a lot of trouble tolerating too much salt, and most restaurant meals tend to have more salt and preservatives than I am used to eating at home. Some restaurants also have tiny, tiny glasses--barely 4 ounces, more like a child's size juice glass than a real glass.

I just won't enjoy my meal if I'm thirsty.

I recall once dining at what was admittedly a cafe that largely catered to students in Cambridge, which is crawling with undergraduates from the nine million universities nearby (called 'The Greenhouse Cafe' I believe). Anyway, I ordered a toasted corn muffin and a glass of water. Got said corn muffin. No water. Waited. Waited. And waited. Kept asking waitress. Belly tattoos, half-shaven hair, bored, bored appearance. Despite crowds spent most of the time chatting with fellow staff in the open and whenever anyone asked for anything she had the 'rolled eyes, omg you want me to move' look. Anyway, finally I went up to the server station and asked for the water, since you really can't eat a corn muffin sans H2O without choking to death. She flipped out at me. Walked over to the table and poured water in my glass and all over the table! Not so much that it was dramatic, but enough so beads of water covered the whole slick surface of the table. "ARE YOU HAPPY?" she said, and flounced away.

Worse yet, the milquetoast guy I was with blamed me for not being able to eat without water, he left a huge tip for my bad behavior, and said he had never been so humiliated.

So servers, you can break up a friendship if you don't serve water! ;) At a restaurant with slow or poor service, actually I rather like being close to the server station so I can eyeball them and guilt them into actually, you know, serving me ;)

More seriously @dhorst--re the restrooms. I agree that cleanliness= a good establishment. But the problem I have being seated near the restroom isn't 'potty smell' so much as the disinfectants they have to use or the perfumes are often so strong I can smell them while I eat. In fact, sometimes my hair smells like disinfectant if it is really powerful, even after I exit the restaurant.

I have no problem with breastfeeding, so long as it is discrete. Sometimes it can be logistically awkward if the tables are close together. But that is more of a general 'small tables close together in Manhattan annoyance'--breastfeeding is far less disturbing than very loud conversation by tables so close together you can smell the perfume of the people beside you and see into their open handbags. But given Manhattan rents, I guess it's inevitable for stuff being that close.

I never don't tip and always leave 20%--the only time in my life I have ever not tipped is when I waited for the check at a place for more than half an hour and my dining companion and I had to leave because she had to catch a train. We tried to explain this and get a hold of our server, who had been pretty bad the whole time--no refills, wrong items, and so forth, and we just left cash on the table and left to pay for the food. I still would have tipped but I needed change, and since no change was forthcoming we had to go.

@heart, strong disinfectant odors and strong perfumes are a big no in our book also. Our asthma specialist has said to stay away from them. I'm a fan of hydrogen peroxide or a diluted vinegar solution or lemon juice for disinfecting around our place. Loud mouths...gee, don't you wish you could bring a television remote with you and turn them down?

I don't consider myself "difficult" but I've never gotten the worst table in a place because I've never accepted it. Oh, it's offered from time to time but I'd rather wait for a suitable table.

Being near the bathroom, the door to the restaurant in both the cold and with people waiting for a table eyeballing my food, near a squabbling family with squalling kids throwing food and utensils have happened many times. I also find a seat next to the bus area less than desirable - dirty dishes being dumped, big piles of precariously balanced plates walking by, etc. But the worst were being put in the table next to the smoking section where cigars were allowed, even though I requested a non-smoking seat, and then being told when I asked to move that we'd have to wait for an hour like those who didn't make reservations. The biggest kicker of this one is that one of the friends we were with knew the owners of the restaurant, and got PO'd when we insisted we leave - even though she knows I have asthma and am allergic to smoke - she didn't even think she should be pissed that her friend the owner didn't offer her the next available non-smoking table.

Not entirely on topic, but related to some of the comments in this thread...
I certainly would not want my children to ever be deliberately tripped up and injured just to satisfy a diner's point of "children should be seen and not heard, etc". My kids are generally well behaved. I would have to say that if you are an adult who chooses to basically assault a child, tripping up him/her on purpose and probably have not even contemplating the possible injuries you may have inflicted; your actions are not only reprehensible, but also perhaps subject to legal charges also, if they were in fact, deliberate and not accident. You, as an adult have the choice to speak to the parent/gaurdian of the child in question. And there is also the option of merely complaining to the managerial staff on duty at the time, asking them to intervene and take care of the tiresome tyke.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Cassaendra does not have children. Nor does twoojoe.

I have an 11 month old son and he is very well-behaved at restaurants, even though he cannot yet walk or run around. If he could, he would not be allowed. Even if he starts acting up or being loud now, we will leave or take him out or both. It wasn't so long ago that my husband and I were the people snarling at nearby kids' deplorable behavior. We don't want to be bothered so we don't want anyone else to be either. However, deliberately assaulting a child is taking it too far. And might I add that if you do not put a halt to such behavior you may very well find yourself on the receiving end of legal action and rightly so.

As far as water refills, my best friend will often ask the server to leave a pitcher of water because there is NO WAY the server can keep up with the amount of water my friend wants.
I hate cold drafts, from the front door or from the AC. I don't want to eat with my coat on.

Not to get into the badly behaving children/poor service discussion, I'll just address the worst actual seating that I've had at a restaurant.

Valentines Day with my bf at the time, he took me to a nice restaurant in a trendy part of town. We had an 8pm reservation, were seated 20 minutes after our reservation, which wasn't too bad, since we sat at the bar and enjoyed some wine.

However, we were escorted out of the main dining area (where they had really pretty tables set up with sheer curtains separating each table) and into a poorly lit back room where some small tables were set up for their "overflow". And I don't mean dimly lit in a romantic way, but poorly lit, as in I had to hold my candle by my menu to read it.

The table was no bigger than a nightstand with two wire chairs, that were horridly uncomfortable, and we were shoved up against a wall, where the door would open and hit my chair nearly every time a server passed through the two dining rooms. We asked to be moved, but were told that they were overbooked and didn't have any other tables -- even though we saw a larger table (with chair cushions!) vacant through the entirety of our meal.

And I've never been back.

Bad service! There is rarely a good reason for it unless half the staff doesn't show up, or something freakish like that. Even on crazy insane busy nights I was able to keep people happy, drinks filled, and rush hot food to a table as fast as the cooks could get it out. I just moved faster, gossiped less, and my pockets were nicely padded with tips for my work.

Went to a "upscale casual" restaurant a few weeks ago. Walked in, plenty of free tables. Hostess makes a beeline for the table right in front of the ladies room and kitchen entrance. Then she had a difficult time understanding why we asked (nicely) to move...

I usually don't care where I sit as long as it's not under an AC vent or in front of the heater. I can't seem to enjoy my meal if I'm freezing or sweating.

@PDXBiker. I also don't understand why Diet Coke drinkers need their glasses refilled so often! Any Diet Coke drinkers out there that can shed some light on this?

As a regular "single" diner, I often get a crappy table, even if I'm in a relatively empty restaurant. I've made reservations for one and still gotten a terrible table. I don't want to eat at the bar every single time, so I ask for a table instead. The best case is when I'm on the periphery of the room. I've actually been seated FACING A WALL on more than one occasion.
Now I just ask if the restaurant can accommodate a single diner, and ask to see the table first. If it annoys the maitre d', I thank him or her and leave.

Because my wife and I look so young, (seriously we are in our mid 30's and we get carded all the time) I feel that maitre d's try to take advantage of us. We have been placed near the bathroom and of course the kitchen but the worse was one place added a table for us but it was in the doorway leading to the dining area. So when people were comming and going they kept on bumping into us. I finally had enough and politely made a big stink and they finally relented and gave us a more suitable table. To help apologize they made my gin and tonic a triple.