Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

i can't resist a bag of pork rinds every now and then..... i guess they're in vogue at the moment, though, everyone is pork-crazy these days....(what were they waiting for?)

Kraft deluxe mac & chs

fillet o'fish add lettuce, tomato, and "special sauce"'

papa johns or dominos pizza with mushrooms, tomato, & pineapple

OH! And either Lucky Charms or Reeses Peanut Butter Puffs.

me, too! i LOVE cheetos!

I freakin' love Bagel Bites and Buffalo Wild Wings! Haha.

Cheetos for me, too. Damn their cheesiness!

@hungryinhouston - I have the same pattern! Mine are:

Bologna
Tinned Vienna sausages
Tinned ham (although I've been able to resist this one for a good couple of years...which I can't say about bologna)

I don't care for cheetos though...:-)

fried chicken
cheetos (I dont think anyone is above that powdered cheese...it's like orange crack)
MAYONNAISE

Jalapeno cheetos swiped through whipped cream cheese. DON'T JUDGE ME.

There is too many, I have to say all the above and more then likely all the threads that will be below will be on my list.

Big Mac
Crunchy Cheeto's
Popeye's Extra Spicy Fried Chicken
Nong Shim Kimchi Ramen
Jack Link's Teriyaki Beef Nuggets

@maered - Jalapeno Cheeto's? Really!!! Where are you? I've never seen them and such a thing demands to be tasted. By me. Now.

Celeste personal supreme pizzas
Fluffernutter sandwiches (creamy PB w/Marshmallow Fluff)
Big Macs
FUNYUNS!!!!!! (I usually consume these with "hooker wine" (boxed wine)
Love the jalepeno cheetos (feeeel the burn!)

Gummy Bears, Cheetos, Captain Crunch with Crunchberries and Brown Sugar frosted Pop Tarts. All four food groups necessary for my survival!

Nacho cheese/pretzel Combos.
oh, and White Castle cheeseburgers, with everything.
also, lil' smokey wieners wrapped in croissant dough from a can!

Make believe crabmeat - you know...Krab with a K.
A really good hamburger.
A really good french fry.
Pigs feet cooked in the gravy on Sunday.
Zeppoles at an Italian street fair.
Spanish peanuts in the sugar from the guy on the street.
These greasy Hungarian smoked meat things from a Hungarian butcher uptown Manhattan.
Pigs in Blankets (in their most plebian form, not dolled up with expensive puff pastry and high-end sausages).
A Publix Italian Sub.
And finally, a Big Mac.

Oh my...I feel so culinarily dirty just having this conversation...

ooooh, ya'll HAD to mention the Ultimate Cheeseburger! Love 'em. I actually had one once with lettuce and tomato to try to "healthy" it up a little. It just wasn't the same.

Thanks for contributing to my delinquency! I've gotta have one now!

Taco Bell
Frozen appetizers (particularly if they are mushroom, spinach, or Tex-Mex because my family won't eat those so it's the only way I get them)

i definite don't consider myself a foodie..hate that term. depending on peoples' definitions probably a quarter of my diet could be called guilty pleasures. that's in addition to the canned budweiser that i sometimes use for refreshment and intoxication.

Ruffles with sour cream and onion dip...from a can
Salt and Vinegar chips until I have Joker mouth (starting to split at the sides....gross)
Hot dogs with loads of ketchup, mustard, kraut, and relish
Clausen mini dills
hashbrowns from Waffle House smothered in ketchup
Chicken fingers and curly fries from Jack N' the Box
Chocolate milkshakes with whipped cream and sprinkles from Cold Stone Creamery
Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream

@black liquorice MMMMM Waffle House hash browns served " All the Way" McDonalds Sausage Mc Muffin with Egg and sometimes...(well, alot),... sesame rice crackers, Philly cream cheese and Sriracha (but only Philly and not store brand cream cheese...um, doesn't that make it more gourmet?)

Peanut chews.

Cool.Ranch.Doritos

I think I gained 25 pounds in high school because of these...I can no longer keep them in my home. My nightmare is an unlimited supply of them. I would die in five years...tops.

crab rangoon and beef teriyaki on a stick and cool ranch doritos

Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs.
Cold canned peas.
Maple brown sugar Pop Tarts.
Hormel chili without beans.
Big fat patties of egg foo young with that thick-ass gravy on it.

And what may be the worst thing ever: An entire package of Buddig brand corned beef on squishy white bread, smashed into a flat tile.

Cool Ranch Doritos.

Pringles potato crisps. I love real potato chips, like the local Tims Cascade, but about once a month I have to kill a couple of tubes of Pringles. They are so bad, But I gotta have 'em.

Every now and then I gotta sneak a Twinkie : (

Homemade chocolate chip cookies with a cold Pabst Blue Ribbon. If I had to pick one meal to eat on death row, set me up a dozen cookies and a dozen PBRs...

Kraft mac and cheese out of the box.
Sonic's strawberry fresh fruit slushes (especially during drink happy hour).
White Castle cheeseburgers and onion rings.
Mrs. Paul's fish sticks (preferably with the Kraft mac and cheese).
Tostitos lime and chile flavor, with Marzetti's southwestern ranch vegetable dip.
Anything served at a state fair.

@black -- You are so right about the Waffle House hash browns, but make mine covered, smothered, chunked AND chopped.

It makes me feel dirty thinking about it, but the dirty water hotdogs from street carts are always delicious. Pretzels, and sugary peanuts from the street vendors. Um....random cheap chinese street food including deep fried gluten sticks (for breakfast). Oh man.

Taco Bell
Any Hostess product that has chocolate, or Twinkies (not those nasty fruit pies)
Potato chips with dip from the jar

- Thick-sliced bologna and chunky style peanut butter, smooshed between a couple of pieces of squishy white bread [crusts optional].
- Processed cheese from a can - bacon flavor, of course - on Ritz crackers.
- Maraschino cherries in my scotch-on-the-rocks [but only at home, and only in the blends].
- Whipped cream, shot from the can, straight into the mouth [best done while still in jammies for maximum debasement/joy].
- A ginormous pupu platter while downing cocktails @ the local greasy Chinese joint [they always have the BEST bars].

Oh, god, I hang my head in delicious shame [only to spy my burgeoning belly].

Other than the canned meat products, with the exception of corned beef hash, I can pretty much agree with this list.

I should probably add: Cape Cod Dark Russet Potato Chips; port wine & cheddar cheese spread; Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

I have a bizarre love for our local China Buffet. It's been closed down a few times for health code violations, but I think until I've been violently ill, I will continue to adore their MSG-filled goodness.

McDonald's double cheeseburgers and their golden, salty fries

Also Cheeze Whiz- spread thick on my toast or English muffin for breakfast

you guys eat vienna sausages? holy shit...

I second (or third, or fourth...) the Velveeta Shells 'n Cheese, but mine has to be with potato chips. Scoop it up and eat it. Great taste/texture with that combo.

I also love Taco Bell.

crappy mall chinese food and bacon double cheesburgers at McD's, topped with a heaping side order of shame

KFC Original recipe Crispy strips
Chez-its

Parmesan goldfish, microwave popcorn (almost nightly), sour patch kids, and canned green peas (in the silver can - important!). I grew up on the green peas and can't handle the frozen kind except in risotto--my OH will not eat the canned. Tough luck for him!

"Secrets" are so much fun. Especially when you read everyone else's. I feel exceedingly normal and even healthy after reading this list! Ha

Sardine w/ tons of different topping options is probably my highest prized, never-get-to-eat-but-pig-when-they-come food item.

White Castle sliders! Too bad there's not a White Castle to be found anywhere near home. I haven't had one since last century.

This is one the best threads ever.

Buffets, especially Chinese and Breakfast
Buffalo Pretzel Chips
Kettlecorn
Stoffers' Mac 'n Cheese

Schlitz
White Castle
Miracle Whip
Totino's Frozen Pizza

One word SPAM! Fried with american cheese, toast and mayo.

vanilla creme waffer cookies

@ mhurst826: oh MAN you're so rght about the Smartfood white chedder popcorn!! I can eat a bag of that in five seconds. Also white cheddar Cheez-Its, AND those holiday popcorn tins filled with cheese, caramel, and regular p'corn.

I think I gained 10 lbs. while reading this.

Cheetos and doritos and any kind of cheesy salty thing...surprisingly i don't like nacho cheese or any kind of orange cheese product, except on salty chip and cracker things.
Snickers
Peanut M&Ms
Nutella eaten from the jar with a spoon...oops...

Oreos soaked in milk til they're mushy
Chicken in a Biscuit crackers
Kraft mac-n-cheese (powdered cheese sauce kind)
Jalapeno poppers (cream cheese filled) with pepper jelly
My husband would definately agree on the Nutella!

i can't believe everyones mentioned cheetos but no one has mentioned CHEEZ DOODLES which are clearly a superior product. just as cheez-its are waaay better than cheese nips. i think its in the z cheese spelled with a z means automatic deliciousness.

cold ravioli and dinty moore out of the can. cheap pot pies. tina's frozen burrito's. salami with cream cheese. little debby's. crab rangoon. kfc. oodles of noodles. deviled ham. crusty bread dipped on olive oil and vinegar. wings. m&m's. bud lite. dell's lemonaide with captain morgan. soup with fritos from the lunch truck.

my name is christine and i have a junk food problem.

Oh man -

There's nothing better than walking out of Federal Corporation Super Liquor Store with a case - yes, a case - of King Cobra 40 oz. The nectar of the gods!!

And...hot wings, dirty as hell chinese food, hungry howies dipper in ranch.

i have never commented before...but this is just too good...
beer and dessert together (preferably a forty and a cupcake)
queso made with velveeta cheeze
peanut butter and nutella sandwiches made with oatnut bread....yummy!

Krispy Kreme = culinary slumming? For real?

I can't equate the delectable goodness that is the Krispy Kreme doughnut, especially the Hot Light doughnuts, with something bad for you. In fact, I imagine angel flesh tastes much like a Krispy Kreme doughnut when the Hot Light's on.

When I lived in Thailand for eight months, I craved Krispy Kreme. I was like this babbling prophet of the doughnut, looking for KK outlets near me (none in Asia, circa 2003).

I also craved the hell out of grits.

This is the greatest thread. I am vegetarian, so some of these culinary sins are out of my realm, but I sometimes want to put milk duds in my popcorn at the movies. I'm flexible--it could also be gummy bears. I have done it before and I totally regretted it because I felt like I was going to go into a coma afterwards, but it tasted awesome. You have to be really careful who you are with when you do this to avoid being judged.

Also: french fries (especially cheese fries), doughnuts, chocolate Special K (not an actual food), veggie burger from P. Terry's

I think "coolname" and this thread should get some kind of an award from SERIOUS EATS headquarters! Does anyone agree.

@dmcavanagh~yup, "coolname" should get some kind of Serious Eats award for this thread...now just what should it be. "Taxi-cab Foodie Confession Award," or maybe "Exposed: All you did and didn't want to know about your fellow foodies Award," or how's about the simple and yet direct "Food Sluts: All your hardcore, whorish desires Award." Okay now somebody suggest something that real--I'm going to bed now totally embarassed. But really this is perhaps one of the most fun and interesting threads posted in a while. A terrific post holiday stress & frigid weather reliever!

@Aynsl156
"...Um....random cheap chinese street food including deep fried gluten sticks (for breakfast). Oh man."

Those fried crullers ARE eaten traditionally as breakfast food!
What a way to start the day!

I love:

Canned corn niblets straight out of the can. Preferably the kind with salt. I scoff at the No Salt versions. Mmm...sodium.

Pan fried spam until the edges are crispy (I blame my Filipino roommate for this one)

Tostitos lime corn chips
That gelatinous queso dip that has infinite shelf life outside of the fridge

A lethal dip made from a whole package of Philly Cream Cheese, canned refried beans and shredded "cheese" that comes in a bag, MICROWAVED. DAMN FINE EATIN'

Muncho's potato chip things. I don't know what they really are. They aren't potato chips. I very seldom see them anywhere, which is probably a good thing.

@dbcurrie - I think they are catagorized as "crisps", hahaha

this is literally the best thread EVER. I feel an odd sense of acceptance after reading it...

more to add to my list...
cheap strawberry jam-straight out of the jar
banquet frozen dinners-yes, the ones they sell for like a buck
bean dip
canned veg-cold out of the can
arby's sandwiches, slathered in horsey sauce
grocery store Californis rolls

chili cheese fries from del taco (shudder), with sour cream
totinos pizza and pizza rolls (both dipped in ranch)
kraft blue box mac w/ 1/2 the noodles, add hot dogs, sometimes ketchup
ruffles sour cream and onion chips, add cheese, nuke
taco bell quesadilla with extra sauce.
top-ramen with 1/2 the noodles, dry, with the salty-goodness packet... like chips!

and... in response to "joker mouth": when I eat a whole box of cocoa puffs in a day, I prefer to refer to it as "car wash mouth". I think you get the visual.

Munchos! Good call, DB.
Pot pies
Spam
Chef Boyardee raviolis
Jack in the box tacos

To be continued...

Oh, I should have mentioned in my other posting: Girl Scout Cookies. Specifically the cookies known as Samoas, also assuming the moniker of Coconut DeLites.

Partially hydrogenated oil never tasted so good.

Even more decadent is the Samoas ice cream from Edy's. I haven't had it myself, but if you're going to be bad, why not be really bad?

Chef Boyardee Ravioli
B&M Brown Bread
Canned chicken for sandwiches
Pringles
Packaged Dinosaur BBQ Pulled Pork

Guilty pleasures: the crunchy Cheetos and turkey pot pie. I'll second the Chef Boyardee Ravioli (mini-size, for weekend lunch). Also, cheese filled hot dogs (and I shouldn't because they aren't Kosher - the guilt!) I always wonder what the cashier is thinking about my purchases. And, God, of course.

I've given up so many foods like this lately...but I do still love crunchy cheetos, reeses peanut butter cups and McDonald's chicken mcnuggets...with hot mustard sauce. I think I buy the nuggets just for the sauce! Those new jalapeno crunchy cheetos are addictive!!

Oh, man, I'm guilty:
- a burger from anywhere but McDonald's
- a hot dog from the grill on a summer day
- potato chips
- cheetos
- Betty Crocker "warm delgihts"
- microwavable mac'n cheese
- Jacks' pizza
- fast food Chinese
- regular or sugar-dusted krispy kremes

. . . and now I'm hungry

Looks like I am a little late to the party! It's been a little hectic for me lately..

Here's what I can be guilty of:

~Five Guys: I should be a shareholder
~Cream Cheese: I have a thing for it and mostly all kinds. I love it on or in anything. Just don't like it if jalapenos are involved.
~Sour Cream: I just have to have it. Can't think of weird circumstances when used...wait does having it with steak from time to time count?
~Velveeta Mac and Cheese: Just have to once in a while
~Queso Dip made with Velveeta: don't make it (I'd probably gain 100 lbs if I did) but will eat at parties
~Good French Fries
~Pop Secret Sweet n Salty
~ColdStone Creamery: It's been since the summer but man, I LOVE it there.
~Crab Rangoon and General Tso's Chicken
~Bobbies: A Delaware Fave!
~Bottled Salad Dressing: Newman's Own Light Bals Vin is good!
~Kettle Cooked Potato Chips: Sooo good. Love that added crunch.

I have enjoyed reading this thread! It's a great one. :-)

@gypsykid, you definitely read my mind! My cousin and I thought we were the only wackos who loved that combo!
~Pringles, Cheetos, Fritos & Funyuns (you get the gist)
~Chocolate Pop Tarts
~Big Mac (side salad and Iced Tea on a good day - fries and Coke on a bad day)

I forgot two of my biggest guilty pleasures. I LOVE to take dill pickle spears and make a line of ketchup along the top edge of the pickle, then eat and repeat. My new husband walked in on that one about a month in. Embarassing! Amazingly, he is still with me. Also buttered, mashed potatoes mixed with either corn or peas. My stepmom used to be revolted by this. Made me want to do it more BTW! What a great topic!

poutine. the stuff may have been introduced to me during those late nights in college, but it's good stuff. and the fact that it's pretty much unavailable in nyc makes it that much more desirable.