Goofy kitchen appliances (please don't buy that for me!)
I was out Christmas shopping and of course I had to check out the kitchen gadgets and whatnot at the stores, and as usual I was stopped in my tracks by a device that I just couldn't believe.
As in, who would want one of these things?
It was billed as an automatic doughnut machine. About 3 feet long, I'd estimate. It's basically a deep fryer with a dough dispenser on one end and a ferris-wheel like device on the other end that pulls the floating doughnuts from the fat.
And no, it's not a commercial machine, it's a plastic gizmo that cost over $100 and looked like a toy. And I bet it's a pain to take apart and clean.
I thought the steam-n-mash for cooking and mashing potatoes was silly, but at least you might eat mashed potatoes on a regular basis. But who's gonna make enough doughnuts to justify the cost and the storage space for this monstrosity?
It's obviously not a foodie gift, but I have a hard time imagining who would want this, unless it's someone with a lot of space, too much money, and kids who eat a lot of doughnuts.
So, have you seen any amazingly ridiculous cooking devices?
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70 Comments:
My mom bought me the steam n mash a few years ago- I've never used it to make mashed potatoes, but I have used it to steam many other things, including clams and mussels....
My family is known for getting odd kitchen appliances, but I think that something like the donut machine has a limited market.
cmtigger at 2:37PM on 12/07/08
I was once given an electric mini muffin maker, which is a lot like a waffle iron or sandwich press, except that it had 5 tiny muffin cups. I tried it out a few times, but it took so long to heat up, then got too hot and scorched the muffins, and despite being nonstick and well-greased, still clung to the sad tiny muffins, that I eventually passed it on to a thrift store. It's just way more efficient to bake muffins in the oven, or even in a toaster oven.
butterface at 2:55PM on 12/07/08
I am always amazed when I walk into the one outlet store that has a huge section of "As Seen on TV". The crap they have!
The one that really slays me is the thing that chops onions and it drops into the "handy" measuring device. I just saw one, but can't remember the name for the life of me. Maybe it is simply called The As Seen on TV Onion Chopper.
izatryt at 3:26PM on 12/07/08
Those so-called pasta pots with the "strainer" holes in the lid. If you need one of those to cook pasta, there are some simple cooking instructions you've missed.
LunaPierCook at 3:38PM on 12/07/08
I recently got a quesedilla maker... It worked nicely, but was large and heavy. I much prefer throwing my quesedillas in a skillet!
nalega at 3:44PM on 12/07/08
Sandra Dee Cook books.
pjracz10 at 3:44PM on 12/07/08
@pjracz~They do NOT?!
carolrsfMISSESTEXAS at 3:47PM on 12/07/08
@butterface I remember the muffin maker! There was also some kind of shell maker that you could make different shells for holding things like cornbread shells for holding chili. I'll admit it I wanted one at the time.
Someone once gave me a perfect pancake maker, it was this small low sided pan that had a lid that you were supposed to pour pancake batter into it, then flip it over and the pancake would get cooked on both sides. It did not work well, the pancake batter would leak out of the pan if you flipped it too early!
Last Christmas my dad wanted a banana holder (plastic banana shaped shell that keeps your bananas from being smushed on transport), he still hasn't used it once, could be because bananas won't seem to fit into the holder.
ag3208 at 5:13PM on 12/07/08
@carols They do not what? lol
pjracz10 at 5:25PM on 12/07/08
Being a bit bored today, I went to Amazon and read the reviews on the doughnut thing, and the majority focused on how defective it was. Few people could get it to function at all. One said that the plastic started melting. That's good eats.
The few good reviews were people who miraculously got functional units that didn't self-destruct, but the positive responses were along the lines of the "entertainment value" and how guests liked watching the doughnuts being made (these people are a little too easily amused). And that the recipe tasted good, which is a lousy reason to approve of a hundred-dollar device.
Things like this make me realize how far most people are from their kitchens.
dbcurrie at 5:28PM on 12/07/08
How about the "funnel cake maker"? Like an actual funnel and some hot oil are not good enough? Those were all the rage a few years ago as I recall.
buffy at 5:57PM on 12/07/08
@ag - i got that pancake thing too - I think it's still sitting in the bottem of my cabinets, completely unopened.
nalega at 6:06PM on 12/07/08
As Seen on TV One Touch Can Opener
(that is the actual name)
It went about an two inches and died. I had to throw out the battery operated appliance with new batteries and the attached can of food.
PerkyMac at 7:17PM on 12/07/08
I happen to love my pasta pot with the strainer holes on the lid!!
goldie725 at 7:18PM on 12/07/08
My good friend hosted a "kitchen-ware" party today. Unfortunately (?) I couldn't attend. The Steelers were on tv. Anyway, I ordered a cheap gismo to make tarts. I'm sure there are other devices out there, but this is the first I've seen that works for $3. PS: In the interest of people who do NOT have enough kitchen gizmos, you can raid my garage for various tv "culinary accessories" like Ron Popeil stuff and other single-purpose items. OK - I've vented. Don't burden any loved ones with these gizmos just because you know they cook. I've already gotten two rice cookers and it's not even Christmas. Oh well.
Josdean at 3:09AM on 12/08/08
Oh, and yes...I have two funnel cake makers along with batter mix. I helped my 6 year old neighbors to make them until I saw the batter "moving". We went out for ice cream.
Josdean at 3:20AM on 12/08/08
I once got a round "herb chopper." The surprising thing about the gift (and the person who gave it to me) is that the friend who gave it to me has seen my collection of knives.
I rarely get cookbooks anymore because friends and family fear I already have the one they intend to purchase for me.
As for Shamdra Lee books - the only way I'd accept one is if it came pre-mustached, black-eyed, with blacked-out teeth and if funny sayings were written in balloons next to her mouth. I.e.: "Add a couple of tablespoons of vanilla extract to Kool Whip to get out that 'packaged' taste!" Or "Adding ground glass to your cocktails will make them shiny and festive!"
therealchiffonade at 6:16AM on 12/08/08
I got a "HOT DOGGER"
Its a toaster where it is made to hold two hot dogs and two buns, the holes are shaped for those things, you can't even do toast on the thing!
ryan112ryan at 10:56AM on 12/08/08
I tried out the Ziploc vacuum bags and "vacuum." While it did suck out the air, the vacuum stopped working after a couple of weeks. And I did try fresh batteries.
dhorst at 11:01AM on 12/08/08
@josdean: first, fellow steeler fan here...(let's hear it for deshea!) secondly, do you have the ron popeil food dehydrator?! my sister and i longed for that thing growing up....turkey jerky-so novel! lol.
@ryan112ryan: that may well be the funniest thing i've ever heard of
in general, i'm not too 'gadgety', altho i did have a thing you could poach eggs in the microwave with...kinda freaky.
gastronomeg at 11:36AM on 12/08/08
@ryan112ryan ~ I had the original Presto Hot Dogger. It had posts for up to 6 hot dogs and electrocuted them in 60 seconds. It was one of the first "fast food made at home" appliances and flew off the shelves. Thing is, the hot dogs didn't taste right, and they smelled even worse. The texture and casing were off-putting.
I never had a Ron Popeil anything and I'm so jealous. ;-)
PerkyMac at 11:54AM on 12/08/08
I also love my pasta-pot-with-strainer-lid. I know perfectly well how to use a regular pot + colander, but when I do it that way, I have to wash two things instead of one. ^_^
Skythe at 4:16PM on 12/08/08
I have received a few usless gifts that have amused me over the years-- a couple of my favorites....
Electric salad spinner. Thank god someone gave me this. I used to be exhausted from all of the salad spinning I was doing manually. (I gave it to my nephew and he used it as a cool launching device for beanie babies and plastic robot guys.)
The salad shooter. Why would I want to shoot my poor innocent salad. It has done nothing bad. I am against guns except those used by trained law enforcement types or hunters.
lakeloverhh at 4:26PM on 12/08/08
@Perky, I remember my mother having one of those hot dog electrocuters. While it was interesting to see them arc and zap and sizzle, that's where the fun ended.
dbcurrie at 4:33PM on 12/08/08
when our last stove died. my smart ass sister gave me a easy bake oven. it was a joke, but inside i was all teary. i had alway's wanted one. and yes i have used it. i have to invite the kids to sleep over. but i get to play.
dearrie at 8:04PM on 12/08/08
@dearrie ~ you just sent me back to painful childhood memories. My only slightly younger sister had an Easy Bake Oven, with mixes. She would not use it. She would not let me use it. I wanted to bake. I became obsessed. She never, ever used it and neither did I. Still makes me cry. I think she wanted to torture me. It worked. Those three little words still break my aching heart.....Easy Bake Oven.....sob.
PerkyMac at 8:15PM on 12/08/08
@pj~(a little late) They do NOT make shamdra cookbooks?!
carolrsfMISSESTEXAS at 8:44PM on 12/08/08
@perky if your ever in rhode island, i'll let you use mine.
dearrie at 9:06PM on 12/08/08
perky, did you ever have a "my mixer"?
i think the one for me is the plastic cylinder that you boil pasta in. i don't get it.
cybercita at 9:10PM on 12/08/08
@Texas--unfortunately, "they" do. I think it's the 4th or 5th sign of the apocolypse or something like that.
buffy at 9:28PM on 12/08/08
I have an Easy Bake Oven christmas ornament. Does that count? The little cake slides in and out and smells like easy-bake-cake.
dbcurrie at 9:42PM on 12/08/08
I did not know who this Sandra Lee was.. so I looked it up on Amazon. Here is an amusing quote from a review: "Thank you Sandra for giving me the feeling that I am a gourmet cook and the confidence to be one."
doyouloveanapple at 10:57AM on 12/09/08
Has anyone seen those hot chocolate makers? It's like a blender that warms and mixes the milk (or water) and the hot chocolate powder mix. An old roommate had one, and it was loud, bulky, and took up too much space on the counter. Uh? What about a pot on the stove and your lazy bum stirring it every now and then?
jourgy at 11:15AM on 12/09/08
actually lakeloverhh, THAT might be the funniest thing i've ever heard.
gastronomeg at 11:17AM on 12/09/08
The device that scrambled the eggs inside their shells. You shoved its pin-like appendage into the bottom of the egg. When you turned on the switch, the pin-thingy-ma-bobber spun really fast and (theoretically) scrambled the egg. Not sure what the point was -- perhaps to save you one more dirty bowl to wash? I remember my (very young) baby brother buying one for our mom for Christmas or Mothers' Day or some such. It was an as-seen-on-TV item that was for sale at the local Thrifty Drug Store.
I also remember her reaction of barely contained joy and enthusiasm at having been given such a thoughtful and useful novelty... ;-p
LoCo at 12:34PM on 12/09/08
I LIKE my pasta pot with strainer holes. Especially since it is also nonstick, so once I drain the pasta I can pour in my HOMEMADE Alfredo sauce, it can sit on the stove and everyone serves themselves after it, and then I can get the dried-on pasta starch and Alfredo cheese glue out of it in under 5 minutes.
I have boiled pasta in a stainless steel stockpot with a gallon of water, and I can't taste a difference.
akk328 at 1:00PM on 12/09/08
This one, found at Neiman Marcus no less, is among the most pointless gadgets I've seen recently... More money than "cents" maybe?
LoCo at 2:15PM on 12/09/08
there's a new GIANT plastic smores maker for your microwave that's pretty awesome:
http://www.simplysmartliving.com/assets/images/pg_smores-maker-2.jpg
I'm not really sure why...
csbrown at 3:04PM on 12/09/08
My top three have to be: Ghetto espresso makers (apparently people feel sorry for me when they see my old school stove top one, but they have no idea what constitutes a solid electric model), ghetto waffle irons that only cook one waffle at a time (One Belgian waffle at a time is almost forgivable) and that toaster that also cooked eggs in the little ring pan so you could make at-home mcmuffins with ease (neither the toaster nor the egg cooker ever worked properly).
jboylan at 4:33PM on 12/09/08
@dbcurrie i would love a easy bake ornament. and yes it counts.
dearrie at 6:28PM on 12/09/08
I have to say I have a Cocomotion machine for hot chocolate and I love it!! I have never been a water and hot chocolate packet in the microwave person (or worse hot tap water), always milk whisked with cocoa/hot choc mix on the stove, but for those people who are the Cocomotion is a huge step up. Ok so maybe it is not any easier to clean up and is a little loud and takes a little while...but still so cool. I found them cheap at the Christmas Tree Shops a few years ago and gave a bunch for Christmas gifts. And my mom gave me the toaster that also does eggs to make breakfast sandwiches as a kind of joke gift for Christmas last year and it works great! Not the best eggs ever but toasts bread 100X better than the old toaster oven we had. I also have the Ron Popeil rotisserie and I love that too! Great moist chicken and pork or beef roasts. Ok, so it too is not the easiest to clean but with my history of overcooking roasts it has been great!
That's my story and I am sticking to it, three goofy gadgets I love. I have managed to weed out all the REALLY useless ones, I am a bit of a reformed gadget junky.
mrsmoosie at 7:09PM on 12/09/08
Bread maker. Enough said.
beth1 at 9:26PM on 12/09/08
Years ago when Onion Blossoms were the new thing on the menus at low end restaurants my boyfriend at the time who loved those confounded things found and "Onion Blossom" Maker. It was basically a cheap cylinder of plastic with one closed end. You put an onion in it and then cut down the guided slits around the entire device to create the "blossum" effect. That was it, with no instructions as to how to best flour or batter the thing, nor instructions on frying. It was the most pointless thingamajig ever. I can cut even wedges free hand and I remember cutting the onion and thinking okay now what.
Martini Me at 12:59PM on 12/10/08
@jboylan - I got one of those toasters last year for Christmas...and I love it? It's great for making egg sandwiches - it poaches my egg over easy, toasts the bread, and heats the meat and cheese, all in about 3 minutes. Mine does work properly though lol.
lo82070 at 1:02PM on 12/10/08
The Magic Bullet
Does anyone remember seeing that one on tv? Individual blender cups for mixing omelets, smoothies, grinding coffee beans, making cheese dip, mixing muffin batter, etc. My parents fell captive to the infomercial and ordered, not one, not two, but four sets. I have a set, my two sisters have a set and the parents have a set. Mine sits in the garage, in the box, collecting dust. Don't get me wrong, it works fine, but it's easier for me to whisk eggs by hand for an omelet; when I make muffins, it's from scratch and the batter only needs to be folded until the wet and dry ingredients are just blended and besides, it won't all fit into an 8 oz container; cheese sauce, well, let's just say I don't microwave my cheese sauce...;as for smoothies, my husband makes smoothies like the ones we had at The Royal Hideaway and he can't get all the ingredients into an 8 oz container, besides we don't like drinking from plastic containers with grooves in the rim for the lid; don't even get me started on the coffee beans;...did any of that make sense?
wookie at 2:35PM on 12/10/08
That toaster thingy that has the egg cooker built in to it? Weirdness for me. Of course, my stepdad loves the concept and wants it.
eat_a_cookies at 2:58PM on 12/10/08
Ok, to add to my garage collection, I forgot I've got the blooming onion thingy. It sits along side my used breast pump. I have the Popeil pasta extruder, bread machine, silpat elbow-length gloves that you could use in a steel mill, cheapie Foreman-type grill, handi-chopper, kitchen torch (used twice yearly for creme brulee), Chia Pet Herb growing pots....Need I go on? If anyone is interested, I will be having a lawn give-a-way sale to make room for the inevitable influx of new stuff that son and hubby will think I need. I hate to hurt their feelings, so I've imposed a $5 limit on kitchen stuff. Now I fear they'll hit the dollar store!
Josdean at 5:59PM on 12/10/08
@eat_a_cookies: Seriously, buy it for him. I got mine last year for Christmas from my mom, because I made fun of it in a catalog (jokey gift). But I seriously use it a lot!
lo82070 at 6:49PM on 12/10/08
OMG I just saw a nut roaster at Target yesterday. When simply stirring nuts in a pan on the stove is just too much work. Oh, wait--that's what the gadget does anyway. What the hell?
buffy at 8:07PM on 12/10/08
@buffy ~ that's exactly what I said when they came out with popcorn poppers (prior to air popped which makes some sense - but not for me). I'll assume the nut roaster is electric and takes up a healthy amount of counter real estate?
PerkyMac at 8:18PM on 12/10/08
@Perk~Counter real estate. I love it!
My brother LOVES the toaster-egg-muffin thing. I use the microwave. DON"T SHOOT! *I'm ducking*
carolrsfMISSESTEXAS at 3:04AM on 12/11/08
how about the salton Lemonader! A lemonade maker for people who really dont know how to make lemonaide. It's like a cross between a citrus reamer and a cold coffee machine.
http://www.amazon.com/Salton-LM8-Lemonader-Lemonade-Maker/dp/B00005B6Z0
the_o at 12:28PM on 12/11/08
"The Magic Bullet-Does anyone remember seeing that one on tv?"
I LOVE my Magic Bullet. Though it did come with too much crap I have to store, and it is more my personal versatile smoothie machine. I love not having to wash a blender, it’s small enough to stay on the counter, and I got used to drinking out of plastic (read: use a straw).
It also is amazing for making hummus and emulsifying salad dressings.
It’s the only gimmicky gadget I’ve ever found useful.
doyouloveanapple at 2:33PM on 12/11/08
Regarding the Magic Bullet... It's a very useful device, but if you already have a blender, you probably don't also need a Magic Bullet. Doesn't everybody know the mason jar thing by now?
schwartz at 10:58AM on 12/13/08
My husband bought the toaster-egg thing when he was out here (AZ) on his own for a few months (while our son and I were in NH selling our house). He thinks it's great and loves to show it off but when all three of us want breakfast and he wants to use it so he can justify the purchase we can get mighty hungry!
Panda18 at 12:44PM on 12/13/08
@schwartz--I didn't know the mason jar thing, but I do now. Thanks! That's a fantastic trick!
buffy at 12:53PM on 12/13/08
Tater Mitts
Sullt at 2:18PM on 12/13/08
I got a bloomin' onion maker quite a few years ago and I've never even taken it out of the box. I love bloomin' onions, but I'll stick to going to Outback to get one.
caramel at 3:12PM on 12/13/08
I love my ziploc vac thingie. I gave them to everyone i know. for 10 bucks it comes with initial batteries. you must have a defective one. i use it for freezing and dry storage as well. it does not take up alot of room and the special bags are comparable to regular bags and avail. in grocery store. sorry earlier poster had trouble you should get another one and try again.
Amer5858 at 9:38AM on 12/15/08
Never fear, Dearrie! There is now an Easy Bake Oven for adults: the GE Advantium Oven. True it's a bit more pricey than the original but it actually cooks/bakes with halogen light bulbs. I love mine and call it my Easy Bake! Cooks quickly and also has microwave so you can use either separately or the lights/microwave together.
SandyO at 10:54AM on 12/15/08
My goofiest gadget (and I'm a REAL gadget nut so I have plenty) is the plastic tube for cooking pasta. Since you already have to boil the water, what's the point?
SandyO at 10:55AM on 12/15/08
Not an appliance, but last year my mom got me this plastic onion-shaped container that's intended to store a cut onion. I got rid of mine, but she dutifully uses hers. I just do not understand it.
I also received, as farewell presents from the worst job I've ever had, an assortment of gadgets from the Bodum store that included a mini-chopper supposedly for herbs and garlic, a milk frother that I did try to use for hot chocolate but that was too spazzy, a measuring cup that broke instantly, and more! The best part of the gift was the tote bag it all came in. And its commemoration of my last day at that job.
India at 11:29AM on 12/15/08
Avoid anything endorsed by Rachael Ray, Emeril, Mawtha Stewart, Wolfgang Puck, etc. They aren't that great, they are over-exposed and have sold their souls. The best cooks I know chop by hand, use cast iron cookware, old carbon-knives (you know, the ones that rust and take a sharpening like you wouldn't believe) and usually have a French Canadian accent (I'm from Northern Vermont). However, that being said, 20 years ago I bought a Melita Coffee Roaster from an off-price outlet and love it. I can buy beans for less than $5/pound and get the exact roast I want, according to the variety of beans, their region and the taste I want. Too many commercial roasters over-roast their beans, destroying the subtle flavors they possess. The biggest offender is Starbucks, they scorch everything!
toferburl at 11:38AM on 12/15/08
I have a museum's worth of as seen on tv items in my kitchen. I love my Ron Popeil Rotisserie.(my favorite thing to cook in it is a small turkey or turkey breast that I've brined over night, It's nofail super moist!) magic bullet(makes great smoothies for the grandkids-mine came with rings to screw on around the rims to make a smooth drinking surface but the kids love using straws),I also have and love using the gt Express 101( it's round and sliver, divided in two sections,I love to do baked poatoes in it) it comes with tons of recipes.some are kinda scary but many are really good. and can't imagine not having my West Bend Just for Dinner Bread Maker(it makes a small loaf big enough to serve 2-4 people a nice slice) it comes with great recipes too. I did once recieve the Popeil Pasta Maker-what a nightmare! Got the Super Salad Shooter a few Christmas' ago, it took longer to use than it took me to use a knife and clean up! I have a pasta pot and use it for pasta and boiling shrimp,I once got a set of Ginsu Knives, my favorite thing to do with them was to prune branches from my trees. I lived vicariously through my daughter when she was in the second grade Santa gave her an Easy Bake Oven that looked like a microwave and tons of mixes. I'd always wanted one but was never allowed to have my own! I'm seriously thinking of getting one with a supply of mixes for my grandkids so they never know the heart ache of never having one. I got the food dehydrater years ago, I made great apple chips with it and not so good jerky. The odor of the jerky drying is unforgettable, not nice at all! I got one of those things to do eggs in the microwave, it worked a miracle! It turned eggs into hard rubber!! I know there are other made for tv items I've been blessed with but am drawing a blank! Anyone's phyche can take only so much trauma before it shuts down. self preservation and all you know . . .
nancyromero at 11:38AM on 12/15/08
About 10 years ago, my dad fell victim to a gadget called the Rotato. If you didn't watch late night informercials in the 1990's then you probably missed it. It's consists of a wedge that you shove into the bottom of the potato and a blade that fixes onto the potato and is operated by a handle on top. The basic idea is that the handle spins the potato and the blade moves up and down, creating a neat spiral of peel. What you actually get is a lot of teeny tiny potato peel shavings, several cut fingers, and a half-shaved potato that looks like it's been attacked by tiny elves with knives. Which is to say, it does not work. To my mother's horror, my dad ordered this thing from the infomercial for $55. Two weeks later we saw it at Walgreens for $15. To this day, 'Rotato' is shorthand in my house for 'unnecessary, overpriced purchase'.
meglo91 at 2:18PM on 12/15/08
OMG, I forgot about those Tater Mitts! They look so gross and diseased.
I know this isn't an appliance, but that commercial for the steamed potatoes bugs me. You are supposed to buy these pre-peeled, pre-cubed, pre-cooked(?) potatoes, stick 'em in the microwave, and mash 'em up with your potato masher. Are they serious? I wonder how much extra this little convenience costs. And really, how hard is it to peel some potatoes, cut, and boil?
Kerosena at 2:50PM on 12/15/08
When I am in a bookstore and notice Sandra Lee "cook" books, I hide them. Sometimes it's tricky, especially if they're on an endcap. But really, all of you who love food should do the same thing to protect your fellow humans from buying them because they think they're somehow real cookbooks.
I'm trying to think if I have anything weird or gadgety but I don't think I do. I had a garlic press but it turned a weird color so I threw it away and haven't replaced it. I don't think I have anything unitasker-ish. If I do, I've forgotten it.
RegrettableFoodie at 2:52PM on 12/15/08
@RegrettableFoodie--you are a hero.
I almost forgot--one of my friends has a wedge-shaped container for storing leftover pizza. It holds--drumroll please--one slice. Um, I can store, like, 4 or 5 in a Ziploc bag. If there are leftovers.
buffy at 6:10PM on 12/15/08
@sandy O...i love my easy bake. still using the same bulb. the kids think i'm the coolest aunt. i use it at least once a month. my sister thought i would regret it. but she now enjoys cake right along with us. lol
dearrie at 7:43PM on 12/15/08
A voice from the UK; I used to have a toastie maker. £9 from Woolworth's (sob...good bye, Woolworths). A clamshell design; you put the assembled sandwich in, closed the lid and waited for it to burn. The sandwich would come out dry and overdone with a thick layer of cheese-based magma in the middle. BUT...the thing also crimped the edges of the sandwich, building up burning cheese magma pressure. You bite into it and your lips and tongue need triage immediately.
Cheese, fresh tomato, bread, a bit of bacon or ham, and a good skillet full of butter. That's what you need. A toastie maker? Not so much.
NotAmerican at 4:57AM on 12/27/08