I was inspired by all of the other fun threads: I don't have cable, so this is based on what I have seen of morning TV silliness and PBS.

Shows you will never see from 'food personalities'

Paula Deen--Unbuttered!

Sandra Lee--Preservative free!

America's Test Kitchen: Viewer's best riffs on test kitchen classics.

Martha Stewart: Good enough.

"This show geared to working moms bears not even a passing resemblance to anything Rachel Ray has ever done"

Mario: 300 calories or less

Anthony Bourdain: Bile-free vegan

And sadly (sniff)...The French Chef Redux (because there will never be another JC).