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Are we Freaks?

My boyfriend made me join a fantasy basketball league of his in case he needs an extra player. I think it's the most ridiculous, weird thing ever, but I complied because you do stupid things when you're in love. The other night I was messing with it and I noticed that there was a message board for random, non-sports related topics.

It's no surprise that everyone on Serious Eats is interested in food, but I thought it'd be like a freak, social experiment to ask a bunch of guys varying in age what they ate for dinner. I made a post that simply said, "What did you eat for dinner?" NO ONE RESPONDED!

This was disheartening for a couple of reasons. I was obviously excited to hear what men who probably aren't interested in cooking or food are eating. Another reason is that I read some really stupid posts, like, "Guess what my friend and I talked about today." That was it, really. No prize, no hints, just "guess what we talked about" and like, 75 guys were like, "Uggggh, you talked about football?" That post wasn't stupid to them, but my dinner post was!

After complaining to my boyfriend he basically said, "Sweetheart, I hate to break this to you, but your obsession with food and cooking is pretty specific and well, weird."

I'm sure no one on Serious Eats will willingly admit that we're a strange lot of folks, but if you think about it, isn't it kind of weird? I think the fact that there are people out there who hate to cook is bizarre, but they're probably in the vast majority, aren't they?

What do you think, are we freaks?

62 Comments:

Happy, happy freaky freaks. =)

Coughs! Ok then.
Freaky is as freaky does. LMAO apparently quite apropos at the moment.

Find a new boyfriend.

I am a food freak and proud of it. My dude fully supports my food addiction!

yeah, maybe. BUT, you have to eat to live. You don't have to play basketball to live. So there.

My superior online deaden reservoir? What's a deaden reservoir?

Anyhoo, yes, to most people we are probably not freaks so much as dorks. Thinking about food as much as I do is not advisable.

I wake up thinking about what to make for dinner. Before I open my eyes...

My husband brags about my cooking all the time. People are afraid to ask us to dinner. Really. My good friends look at me in a quizzical way when I talk about cooking or a recipe. Friends of friends call with cooking questions. People are in awe and they don't get it.

Happy, happy freaky freaks!

Even if we are, I'm fine with that. I don't know about the vast majority, but at my last office job (not at all food related; it was, in fact, a bank), I was fortunate to have colleagues who were also my close friends and as much "food freaks" as I am, so for the most part I was surrounded by people who spoke "the same language", so to speak. All of us travelled quite a bit, and all our travel stories were always peppered with lovely descriptions of local foods (plus, we had a tradition of bringing something back when returning from a trip, for everybody to sample - usually chocolates, or pastries, or biscuits). I certainly didn't feel like a freak then.

While my OH certainly supports and enjoys my love of all things food, his family doesn't really share our enthusiasm, to put it mildly. Oh well, I can live with that. Seriously, no matter what you are passionate about, there will most likely be someone out there who'd consider it odd or daft. It probably is best that that "someone" isn't your boyfriend though:-). That said, things can change - and your boyfriend may still grow to appreciate food as much as you do.

I wake up thinking about what to make for dinner. Before I open my eyes...

My husband brags about my cooking all the time. People are afraid to ask us to dinner. Really. My good friends look at me in a quizzical way when I talk about cooking or a recipe. Friends of friends call with cooking questions. People are in awe and they don't get it.
I like awe.

Happy, happy freaky freaks!

Most of the people I know think that I'm nuts to like cooking as much as I do. Not all of them hate cooking.To them, it's just another household task, like vacuuming or doing laundry. Maybe not the worst chore in the house, but still a chore.

I do know a few people who like cooking certain things, but only in season or when the mood strikes them. Like guys who like to grill stuff outside, but would never dream of whipping up a soup or making spaghetti sauce.

So even some of the non-cooks will bake cookies for the holidays and have a little fun with it. Or they'll enjoy doing an occasional special dinner, or they like making their one special dish, but the daily stuff annoys them.

And most of those people do not drool over new bakeware or want cooking stuff for Christmas.

Yes we are freaks. And I'm happy to be one.

I don't really think it's weird; cooking is a hobby/interest that we all enjoy. It's every bit as valid as quilting, collecting, bird watching or (fantasy) basketball. I'm bias, of course, but I'd venture to say that yours actually trumps his; cooking produces tangible results that others can appreciate and enjoy, and is quite practical :)
Though, like renzata noted, I would put myself firmly (but cheerfully) in the dork category

Haha, yes, it's definitely a weird obsession, as my sister and my roommate cheerfully remind me at every opportunity. But hey, when you love something, you love it =). And like hungryinhouston said, you have to eat to live! So why not enjoy it?

sigh... I'm having computer issues. I don't know why that posted twice.

I wish I was a computer dork...

A co-worker of mine at work spent 200.00 on a "heritage turkey" for Thanksgiving. I asked him, so you are making gravy? He responds, oh yes, my DW is buying the jarred gravy. I about had a heart attack. WHAT?? You are spending 200 bucks on a turkey and you are not even going to make gravy. I've never made gravy, he responded....well....I gave him all the instructions, both the "slurry" method, and the roux method. He says OK I'll do it...THEN, I run into he and his family in the market a couple days later...guess what's in their cart...Jars of GRAVY. I asked his wife, you aren't going to try making gravy? His wife said "drippings??" like I mentioned a turd sandwich. Anyway, he made the gravy, they loved it...and that made me happy. I Iove the fact that a lot of friends and co-workers ask me for and try recipes from the things I bring to work. It is so satisfying.

"Weird"?!

Perhaps it's just a Southern thing, but food is central to almost every social occasion here, whether good times or bad. Everyone I know prides themselves on some aspect of cooking, whether it's grilling or barbecuing a whole pig or making a jello salad. Food isn't a peripheral thing here - it's central to who we are, our identities as Southerners, as Americans, as human beings.

I don't think that being a foodie is weird. I think it's something that some people enjoy as a hobby, whereas other take it upon themselves as a chore. It's no weirder than playing an instrument or engaging in a craft or participating in something like a fantasy basketball league.

Besides, if your boyfriend can't appreciate the positive aspects of your "obsession with food," it's time to DTMFA and find someone who will.

DTMFA I'm laughing sooo hard! oh, sorry. ROTFLMFAO!

@Jenilowrance, the funny thing is my boyfriend is Southern. He loves food, loves the fact that I can cook and I think he's over the moon about the fact that he has a girlfriend who loves making him tasty things, I just don't think he gets it, you know? He doesn't understand the concept of the Food Network or why it exists, he doesn't understand reading cookbooks as if they're novels; it's beyond him. That's usually hard for me to wrap my mind around .... until I think of his sports obsession- which I totally don't get. I don't understand why ESPN exists, I don't understand the point of sports magazines or shows or why so many people love it. I suppose it goes both ways. The funny thing is I realize now that I'm not very supportive of his love. I dismiss football all the time by telling him I think it's silly and that I don't get it. He'll tell me he doesn't get my love of food, but he'll go grocery shopping with me or listen to me blabber on about new recipes. I realize now that I'm the asshole in this situation.

Thanks for the epiphany, Serious Eats.

PumpkinBear--I actually think your bf is in a 'freaky' demographic regarding food, though. Teenage boys and young males who have traditionally had women cook for them, mothers, girlfriends and wives (sorry) tend to care about food less than just about anyone I know.

A friend of mine went to Princeton for example, and at the eating club dominated by the jocks (this was when the clubs were still self-selective) the largely male body voted to eat hot dogs and white bread and nothing else to have a bigger beer budget.

Brian Wasink who does all the 'what makes people eat more' experiments once wrote he never uses male undergrads because they skew the results because they eat EVERYTHING without discrimination.

It seems like if you can eat whatever you want without caloric consequences, don't have to cook, and are in the habit of thinking good food 'appears' that you inhale, the idea of cooking and thinking about making food taste good is odd. Lots of guys I know change when they have to slow down with what they eat, have to tinker with their nutrition to keep doing the sports they loved when they were younger and could run 12 miles at a 5:30 mile pace on chicken wings and a hang-over.

And lots of people I know are very into their 'food thing'--even if they are not foodies, they are fascinated by weird foods on the food network, and panic if they can't get their favorite holiday or 'special' foods.

There are, how many restaurants on this planet? How many good cookbooks? How much cooking stuff at how many stores? How much food at how many grocers and specialty shops?

People who think food obsession is weird are just plain odd.

I am quickly becoming accustomed to the blank stares I receive as I wax poetically about whatever random food knowledge I have decided to share for the day.

We're not freaks, we're focused.

Remember, the word fan, as in sports fan, comes from the word fanatic.

If they ever talk to you, I'd be really curious to know what's in their fridge, besides beer and ketchup.

“Let your freak-flag fly, and if someone doesn’t get you, move on.”
Drew Barrymore

Hi. My name is izzy and I am a Freak. Make that a Super Freak. ;-)

Can someone help a sista out? DTMFA? I am not that smart.

Dude, cash him in on a newer, serious eats related model. Did you save your receipt?

Off-topic, I know, but what does DTMFA mean?

Wow. People have different things they find important and pay attention to.

I honestly find the whole line of thought here disturbing. We define people as freaks because of an interest. We hold up our particular interest as noble and good even while we playfully try to use the same terminology to define it so that it doesn't seem like we're dismissing others who don't share the same interest. But then those people are completely dismissed just the same.

This shows up a lot on the various food related discussion boards I read. Taking food seriously as a part of being healthy is undeniably important and something that we, as a society and as individuals (the vast majority of them anyhow) need to spend more time on, I believe. I think that core truth allows for the belief that any interest in food is, therefore, reasonable and more important than other kinds of hobbies or interests. Really, though, I think that hunting for the best thin crust pizza in a particular city doesn't have a lot more to offer in the world than going to a baseball game.

I get that Perky had a revelation (and a good one...different interests are different, but not better or worse - within reason - and the person who has them is the important thing). So that's a good result here I think.

not freaks at all. Just people who have found a place we we can all discuss one of the interests we have in common. What kind of response do you think you'd get if you posted a baseball thread here? I'd bet a very similar response to posting a food thread on a baseball site.

"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"

"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"

"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.

Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said."
— A.A. Milne

@juliebugsmama~ That's awesome.

@juliebugsmama - that's perfect!!!

Okay so I admit it, this is a "passion" I don't share with anyone outside of this site. But, just to boast a little, my meals are sitting on two corporate desks in KC, MO today with curious passerbyers asking, "What did she make for you today?" And my family comes through the door every evening saying,"Something smells good!" And it ain't my perfume!

I do think some people find us strange, but I don't feel strange at all.
When I tell people about all of the things I cook, and how often I cook, they look at me like I'm another species.
My relatives used to act like I just found the solution to world peace when I cooked the entire T-giving meal on my own.
Go figure...

I'm in the midst of finals week and I should be studying like crazy....

BUT, ALL I can think about it how excited I am to go home in a few days and start baking!! Then eating. Baking some more...

Not everyone in my life understands my love of food, but I'm glad there are others out there like me! Embrace that love of food, goshdarnit!!

Love the A.A. Milne quote.

I'm in my twenties and a lot of my friends think it's freakish and not age-appropriate to be so interested in cooking. To them, spending time in the kitchen is what their mothers do...

They're missing out.

DTMFA...
like Junie - can someone tell me what this means?

Everyone in my family is a foodie - it's what we talk about when we get together and it's usually the reason we call each other frequently.

People at work who don't "get it" often goof at me and tell my I probably buy cows to get the milk to make something and churn the butter myself but they eat all the treats I bring in.
Some people just don't get it and that's ok.

Well... not terribly appropriate, but for those who asked, "DTMFA" stands for "dump the motherf***er already".

I know so many people who eat to live. Calories in to sustain energy for the day is all they care about - it doesn't even have to taste, bland is fine. That is freaky! Not the other way around.

On the other hand I start thinking about dinner in the morning, pretty much spend the day thinking or talking about food or researching recipes or reading cookbooks. This is my passion, my husband shares it. Even the most simple dish, well prepared from fine ingredients, is a masterpiece. Creating that masterpiece is a joy, it is pride in a job well done. This is not freaky!

My advice - find a boyfriend who loves food as much as you.

i find it weirder when people AREN'T into food.

i'm not sure about the freak part but i hope i never end up in a league with your bf. that is unconscionable behavior and would result in instant dismissal from any league i've been in (ok, maybe i'm a bit of a freak when it comes to sports/fantasy sports too).

Thanks, Fanciesmom!
I thought I was the only one until I saw your post, as well as many of the statements made on this thread.
I just don't get to spend time around many people who share this passion!

dbcurrie, I agree with the Xmas present statement. I already got mine- a 10" All-Clad LTD nonstick fry pan. Love it!
And I need to stay away from the Williams-Sonoma store. I can't get out of there without spending at least $50.

@everyone - DTMFA is an acronym for (as @Steen said) for "Dump the motherf---er already." It comes from a sex/relationship advice column called "Savage Love". In this context, it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, but, in retrospect, I realize it didn't quite come off that way - so my sincere apologies, @PumpkinBear.

No not a freak by any means....God gave us mouths / tongues / noses etc. to enjoy the things we put in our mouths. Turning it into a lifestyle and hobby is fun. The analogy is that God gave us 'things' below our belt also which when used properly is also fun....but that doesn't make it freaky !


i see cooking as another way to show my love to the people in my life, ok thinking about that I guess it does make me a freak too yippy skippy for the freaks! ;-)

i suppose we are freaks, but everyone has something they are obsessed with.

luckily my bf understands my curiosity with food and good food, as he was raised in a house where the microwave and ketchup ruled supreme. so he embraces anything that tastes better than microwave dinners. he also has his own obsession with WoW so we are even

My husband was not into food OR sports when we met. Now we are both very into both. After I was exposed to Food Network and went to culinary school, I got a dietetics degree to incorporate healthcare and food. My husband might as well have the same degrees that I do. He makes homemade breads and all-day meals on weekends, and lectures me on trans-fat in some of my favorite boxed comfort foods. All this from someone who literally lived on rice-a-roni when we met.

On the other hand, I came in 2nd in our fantasy-football league 2 yrs ago. The people in MY league may not share our love of food, but they definitely appreciate it, and know who to come to for most of the food for their holiday party. :)

Food is a fascinating and sensual way to explore the world and taste what other people are experiencing. And cooking for our loved ones can be an incredibly intimate and generous offering of yourself.
Long live the freaks!!!

After baking 300 cookies, making 2 batches of fudge, one batch of chocolate covered toffee, as well as a lovely Thai red curry (tofu, zucchini, red peppers and coconut milk) - all in the last 24 hrs ( I also work full time..) I'm happy to let my freak flag fly!

My secretary laughs quietly every day when she finds recipes in the office printer...

You're no more a freak for loving food than they are for their sports and fantasy sports love. I mean, why else were you in the non-bball thread anyways? Next time the issue comes up, be sure to remind him kindly, "sweetheart, I hate to break it to you, but your weird obsession with sports and fantasy sports is kind of specific and, well, weird."

I wouldn't get too down though. I assume your bf eats your food and has probably grown his own interest in eating since you probably introduce him to the world of foodies ... just like you joined the fantasy sports thing our of love for him :P

I love you all.

My friends and I were playing this game called ASAP the other night and every time we got to a food- or kitchen-related category, everyone looks at me and gives me the big, very third-grader, "Ooooooooooooooh!" and look at me with eyes that say SHE'S UNSTOPPABLE. And it's true (no one can beat me in these categories!).

When it comes to knowing things about the kitchen, cooking, and especially baking cookies, I am my friends' go-to girl. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I guess I am a freak among food freaks ... Not so much into cooking, but LOVE watching cooking shows, reading menus online, and creating interesting and fresh food combinations of the semi-homemade variety. Now as for EATING ... Well my culinary compadres, THAT is nearly as good as sex in my book. Sometimes BETTER depending on the man and the dish. wink. HEDONISM RULES!

honestly if you asked what i had for dinner in a context that was like that, i wouldnt have answered either. unless you are a friend, i will only share one aspect of my life with you in a very focused group.

i wouldnt post my football picks here.

@juliebugsmama--that's awesome. I just pasted that quote onto my facebook page as my new "favorite quote".

I dunno, I have so many friends who are almost as food-obsessed as I am that I think it's freaky not to be food-obsessed, like LPC said. And my husband has absolutely no problem with my little hobby.

not only am i on SE too much, I'm on fantasy basketball the other half of the time.

it's not weird at all yo.

@steen ROTFL that is crazy funny.

They say that people who are passionate about food make better lovers. Just sayin' . . .

Nope. There aren't that many things one has to do in life, but eating is one of them, and it seems entirely normal to care--or even be quite absorbed--by food and its preparation. But we live in a consumer culture, and an interest in food does not get as much press as, say, an absorption with clothing or shoes. So, to be interested in something that is not shoved down your throat by marketing is clearly bizarre, because that means you like it, off your own bat. And THAT's weird, because although Western culture pays lip service to the cult of the individual, it in fact is hostile to actual individuality; it's contrived eccentricity that is popularly promoted.

He doesn't think you're a freak. He probably thinks it's pretty cool, and more elevated than what his hobbies are, and might even feel a little insecure about it, so he played it off like that. It's what guys do.

I'm a freak when my husband or boys want the computer and I'm on a food site, or want the television and I'm on a cooking show, or want my attention and I'm zoned out on a cookbook or in my cooking zone in the kitchen. However, they love to brag to their friends about how good a cook I am and are most appreciative at dinner. Best back handed compliment ever-- I served store bought bakery rolls with dinner and my younger son said, "No offense, Mom, but your rolls are way better than these." No offense taken. Just call me a super freak and I won't be offended.

Hahah.

As probably the biggest fantasy sports freak around these parts (Honestly, I write for two fantasy sports websites, write for one fantasy football magazine, and co-hosted a fantasy football podcast), I don't think being a foodie is any more strange than any other area.

There's a general lack of intellectual curiosity in our culture, I think. Most people will obsess about whatever tickles their fancy, but refuse to put any effort into caring about something outside of that bubble.

But I'm not sure that's a recent phenomenon...

I seem to be called Odd on a regular basis... I'm not sure if it's because of my food interest though...

None of my friends or family seem to care about the food interest...since they're the ones who benefit from it... so I don't think we're freaks.

The people that know and love me (and yes, there are those that do) don't consider me a freak or oddity because of my love for food. No, they are quite happy about it because it usually means I'll eventually make them something good to eat. And even if they aren't obsessed with food, they still like it.

You know what I find much stranger than being into food? Being into fantasy basketball.

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