Funny Kitchen Disaster Stories
I remember it like it was yesterday, even though now it's been 28 years. Mom and I decided it was time to get a serious cleaning done in the kitchen. We scrubbed the kitchen floors on our hands and knees, and then followed up with a hand applied wax. Then we tackled the oven. Not a self-cleaning oven, rather an old-fashioned gas oven which needed to be sprayed and scraped and scrubbed. This took the better part of a whole day. We then decided that, as a reward for all of our efforts and toil, we would bake a batch of Toll House cookies. So we measured, sifted, and stirred, then put our rounded tablespoon measures of perfect cookie dough onto our greased cookie sheets, and went to put them into our pristinely scrubbed and preheated oven, which sat on our shiny, freshly waxed floor. Then it happened. The fates looked upon our activities and smiled a sinister smile. In this June Cleaver moment, they instead envisioned Lucy Ball...and the planets realigned to alter the scene. My stockinged feet slipped ever so slightly, just at the precise moment I was leaning into the oven with the cookie sheet full of dough. The sheet upended, landing dough side down all over the hot interior of the opened oven door. Frustrated and panicked that the cookies would begin baking on the hot surface, my mother filled a bucket of hot, soapy water. We set the bucket down on the clean floor. We began scooping hot, melty cookie dough out of the oven, and into the bucket of soapy water. Just as we were cleaning the last of the mess out of the oven, my knee hit the bucket. Two gallons of sludgey, cookie-dough, melted-chocolate-infused water spilled all over our newly waxed floor, leaving a pool of mush and mayhem all over the kitchen. We sat in the mess and laughed until we cried. Even though it was, by all counts, a complete kitchen disaster, it remains one of my mother's and my favorite memories of being together in the kitchen.
What is your funny kitchen disaster story?
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12 Comments:
That is a great story - I am super clumsy all the time but it is never funny. :) I was having my first after getting married fancy dinner for the family with ALL the in laws and made cornish game hens and all kinds of yumminess. I popped the garlic bread into the oven under the broiler and promptly forgot all about it! I have about 25 people in the house and the entire great room FILLED with smoke, I was so embarrassed as I was attempting to be the most amazing and perfect hostess ever. Never mind the fact I was 18 and had never really cooked anything harder then raman noodles. Now when we have company I watch the oven like a hawk. This was 13 yrs ago.
luv2cook
love2cook at 11:52AM on 11/25/08
I agree. Great story! Years ago, before I banned the use of the oven in my home, I attempted to make chocolate, chocolate chip cookies. I have never been a baker, but this was for a cookie exchange at work. After carefully measuring all of my ingredients and pre-heating the oven, I set to work on creating my very first cookies. I followed the recipe step by step. When it was time to add the cocoa powder, it didn't seem to be mixing in very well. My solution, turn up the speed. Really bad idea! The cocoa exploded out of the mixer and was all over me and the kitchen. My dogs were running over to lick up the cocoa and I was yelling at them to stay out of the kitchen. DH suggested baking cookies should be banned at our house! After getting the mess cleaned up, and the batter made, into the oven my precious cookies went. Then it was time to take them out of the oven. I did not realize my oven mitt had a hole in it. When I pulled the cookie sheet out, my finger touched the pan and I flipped it in the air. The cookies flew into the oven, down into the oven door, on the floor (incoming doggies again) and that was the end of my cookies and my baking career. DH said baking made me hostile and use really bad words.
izatryt at 2:30PM on 11/25/08
My biggest kitchen disaster probably comes when I was about 11. The phone rang while my mom was cooking dinner, so she called me over and said something. I heard, "Turn this down," so I put it on low and went back to what I was doing. Twenty minutes later, she walks in the kitchen and starts laughing, "Oh, no!" I go over to see what she's talking about.... and the plastic spatula that had been in the pot had melted all over everything! She had told me to turn the pan OFF, not down. Oops. She still won't let me forget it, over a decade later.
nightowl at 3:13PM on 11/25/08
My story is not nearly as funny as ya'll but here goes. In my first marriage we going to a family potluck and I was supposed to make mashed potatoes. (I think mother-in-law didn't have much faith in me or my cooking ability) Anyway, as my then husband was starting out the door with a HUGE bowl of perfectly prepared potatoes from stratch, he dropped it upside down on the front threshold. Guess what that genius did.......put them back in the bowl and took them anyway. Needless to say, I didn't eat any but everyone else did!!!!!
renee59 at 3:46PM on 11/25/08
Oh, that reminds me. I know someone (who I will not out) who was making mashed potatoes from a box and misread the "add 1/4 tsp salt" as "add 1/4 cup salt". They were even more inedible than usual.
nightowl at 3:59PM on 11/25/08
I'm always flinging things around. I once dropped an entire fryer full of dirty oil on my freshly moped kitchen floor. I just stood there, staring at it, for a long time. me and my dog were covered in oil. le sigh..
I also frequently grab the handle of skillets which have been in the oven.. I have scars. when will i learn?
seikel at 4:47PM on 11/25/08
Oh Julie, thank God you could both laugh about it. What a hilarious story!
It was one of those days where you didn't have an extra minute. I had a toddler and an infant. I was baking a cake and was stressed-out because I had a million things to do. I forget who the cake was for, but probably somebody's birthday. Anyway, I had mixed it and was walking the bowl across the kitchen to pour it into the baking pans when I slipped, threw the bowl into the air and when it hit the floor, not only did it break, but batter was everywhere, including the ceiling. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So, I cleaned it up and started over.
About a week later we were at the in-laws and my MIL dropped something and my adorable little angel daughter, who was just learning to talk, said sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t about 30 times in a row, progressively getting louder and louder. Of course, my MIL wanted to where she had heard such language. (Hanging head in shame.) I was really careful not to drop and curse for a long time after that.
PerkyMac at 5:07PM on 11/25/08
Ouch, seikel. I did something similar once: put something (wrapped in foil) on a cookie sheet in the oven. Removed foil packet, plated it, etc. Then looked at the cookie sheet on the stove and went, "Hey, it's still clean, I'll just put it away now." Burned my hand silly and dropped the pan on the floor. I guess I don't really have good luck in the kitchen.
nightowl at 5:10PM on 11/25/08
This wasn't in my own personal kitchen but it was in a kitchen/prep area of a "shall remain nameless" grocery store:
In my first and last stint in the Food Service Industry I successfully ruined a $300 leg of prosciutto and ended up with five stiches in my pointer finger. There was a very sharp knife involved. I've refused to trim large pieces of cured meats ever since.
I still question if they threw out the entire thing (It was brand new, right out of the packaging) or wiped off my blood, which had only gotten on the outer, inedible skin, and sold it anyway. Needless to say, I wasn't very popular in the store after that.
Alyrmc at 5:20PM on 11/25/08
Grabbing the handle of skillets that have been in the oven - that was me last night.
My kitchen disaster occurred when I was making my marvelous chocolate cake w/cooked fudge frosting for a bake off contest. I was filled with much pride because I just knew that I would win. I went out and bought heavy square pans so my cake would not be round and boring. It was a hot day in August w/no A/C, so I put a fan in the window for circulation. When I took the cake out of the oven, I tried to remove it from the pans too soon, and it cracked a bit but I thought it would be OK and that I would still win!! Then - kerplunk - the fan fell onto the sink faucet and the faucet cracked off. I was still determined to win!! On to the cooked fudge frosting - a masterpiece of course, I poured the hot frosting into my trusty Kitchenaid - it was coming together nicely - then I decided to add a bit more butter. I threw the butter into the frosting and because it was hard it caught in the beater and blew out the motor. (Ouch - lost my Kitchenaid). I still tried to frost the cake, but it fell apart while I was applying the frosting. I never even entered the bake-off. Goes to show you - pride goes before a fall!!
butterscotchsq at 5:49PM on 11/25/08
when i lived at home, my mom would take out frozen steak, season it and put a couple pats of butter on top then broil them. comes out very juicy if you've never done this. well that was a gas stove and the elements are different than an electric one. as i found out. the sizzling i heard wasn't from the steak turning all pretty it was because the butter was hitting the elements above and the oven was on fire.
dearrie at 5:57PM on 11/25/08
I was hosting Easter dinner. When I went to do the first basting of the ham, I noticed it looked really shiny. I didn't realize the ham was double wrapped in plastic and I didn't remove the second layer and it melted to the ham! I ran to the grocery store and bought another ham. My nephew, 6 at the time, thought that was so funny that whenever I am hosting a holiday (he is now 13), he calls me early in the morning and asks if I remembered to remove the wrapper!
It took 7 years but my sister had a mishap to rival mine. Last year at Thanksgiving, she wrapped extra stuffing a little too tightly in aluminum foil and put it in the oven with the turkey. Pressure built up in the foil and it burst. Blew the oven door open and stuffing was everywhere, on her cabinets, floor, etc. Our dear nephew calls her now, too!
Michigander at 10:23PM on 11/25/08