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Think it all depends on how close people are and at what point of the meal.

I give people the food off my plate before I've started, when it comes to extremely close friends and relatives; otherwise, I do not share.

I don't want anyone's food once they've started eating. My mother was deeply offended by that.

Oh, the one exception I make is with my husband...of course, it doesn't matter when. I won't chew the same gum though. :P

I would have been somewhat self-conscious in your situation as well. Where have his hands been? I'd feel weird (regardless of who it is - friend or family) since it almost seems like a lot of pressure to place on someone, if she didn't eat something he gave her had she felt she didn't want to eat something that was off someone else's hands.

Our friend is the one who brought the muffin for all of us to share, but I didn't care for any. They were breaking off bits of the muffin, not feeding each other. If they had cut in half and had their own piece then I would have no problem. I mentioned that I wouldn't feel right eating off of one of his (male) friend's plate.

Also, perhaps for another topic, but what is your preferred seating arrangement when dining with your significant other and 1 other friend?

I think that many people were never taught from when they were children simple manners of what is acceptable and what looks odd. Reminds me of Gone with the Wind, it's just not fitting, it's just not fitting.
Would I be worried if my husband was eating some of a friend's muffin? no.
Do I think you need to discuss boundaries with him? also no.
One of my major deals with women is they love a man and all his some personality traits and then when he is being himself, shoving muffin off someone's plate in his mouth, now you don't like that.
You have to accept who he is because that is who you love. If you do not love who he is then you have to be honest with yourself about it.
Is he going to do things that make you wince? You bet!
In a relationship you pick your battles, this is a battle I would personally not pick. If he did it again I would swat him and or steal the muffin in playful retaliation.
Men can learn, I promise you.
As for seating with him and another friend there is no hard and fast rule just be yourself and comfortable. If you are uncomfortable at any time then we can talk about why that is.
Same appointment next week?

The etiquette of the situation is, well, situational. I mean, if there's a pizza in the middle of the table, everyone's sharing that food, right? And depending on who the people are, someone might pick the pepperoni off their slice and offer it to someone else.

But at a formal dinner, it would be a little odd to start eating off of someone else's plate, particularly if you were business aquaintences or strangers.

If this muffin-sharing was done in a flirtatious way, the problem isn't food manners. But if it was merely -- "hey, this is a good muffin, but there's no way I'm gonna eat all of it -- who wants to try it?" Then that's another story entirely.

When my inlaws come over, my MIL will routinely sample whatever it is I'm drinking. If she likes it, she may as for the same beverage for herself. Or she may just want a taste because she doesn't want a full drink for herself, but she may be curious about whatever concoction I have that day. At first, she would ask if it was okay to try it, but now she mostly doesn't ask. The only time I'd object is if one of us had a cold.

Food sharing customs vary a lot by culture and within families. Just like everything else. In my family, you didn't hug people when you said hello or goodbye. In my husband's family, everyone's hugging everyone else. It took me a while to get used to it.

If this food sharing thing bothers you, I think you need to figure out what part of it bothered you. Did it seem too intimate? Is it an issue with sanitation/germs? An etiquette thing? A problem with this friend in particular?

I'm with Cary. Unless he was feeding it to her, it's not a big deal. If he was feeding it to her (or vice versa), it's no longer about the muffin.

Most times when BF and I are served food in a restaurant, we almost always take the first forkful from the other's dish.

When I was about 17, my mother was eating dinner in front of the TV. She was interested in something being discussed and I took this opportunity to take the fork right out of her hand, spear something from her plate and eat it. My mother said, "No, no! You have to take it with the eggplant." She properly assembled a taste for me and said, "Now try it."

Point - My family and most of my friends are not bashful about sharing food.

My mother, sister, daughter and our friends have no problem drinking each other's drinks and eating off each other's plates. It drives my husband and my father nuts. Half the time we just have 1 shared glass of wine while we're cooking. (Don't get me wrong, it's constantly replenished)
I think you need to be sure it's a food thing and not the "sharing". I'm with dbcurrie, I think it is a regional/cultural thing.
I would sit next to my friend and across from Hubby.
I love House, too!

Used to share food but abruptly stopped few years ago. Guess it had to do with not sure where the kids hands had been. Also, I stopped sharing with friends after a bunch of us at pot luck all got sick. I decided then I'd avoid the office pot luck and stop accepting food from someone else's plate (even my wifes). Have been very healthy since.

I hate food sharing. I won't even let my boyfriend eat off my plate unless he gets a clean utensil and only takes one bite. Gross.

Oh, and since you asked the paranoid and insecure question, I'd say it's possible. I can see being squeamish about sharing food because of germs, if that's your personal issue. But you're seeing way more personal meaning in this muffin than is there. And for you to be "hurt" by this? Of course he was baffled. Unless of course she was sitting in his lap or they were making googly eyes at each other.

Being clingy and suspicious isn't attractive. That sort of thing is more likely to cause problems than how a muffin should be shared.

I really don't see this as an issue. I'd look at it this way - if there was anything untoward going on between your friend and your bf, they would not be sharing the casual intimacy of friendship in front of you, because they would be uncomfortable and worried about what signals they're sending. Sharing a muffin doesn't indicate anything beyond there was a muffin available that two friends wanted to share. (I'm with twoojoe, even if he was holding it while she took a bite, it just doesn't seem like it means anything.)

Ha, poor Wilson indeed.

I love to share, because I tend to want to try different things rather than limit myself to one item. I would share with anyone I'm friendly with, within the boundries of remaining sanitary, so I don't see it as an intimate gesture.

Did they look alluring in some way, or did you fail to mention they were in a hot tub? I'm not sure what about this worries you from your explination. As far as seating goes, I don't care about that either-- we're all just eating out together, not one with another. That might be different if I felt threatened by the third wheel, but then again I wouldn't be eating with them if I did.

I share crap w/anyone like chips. fries, a bag of donuts, whatever but a single muffin? If it was a monster size muffin yes but cut it in half and eat it the way you like.

Bah.

Once I went to a big meeting in DC and afterward we all went to an Afghan resto. It was new to me, and all of our group save one. So we were all curious about the entrees each had ordered. One soul was a "share and try" type from NYC and I bonded with her attitude.

We got the best of the evening by pleading, cajoling and threatening the others.

I say, "Share and share alike." Chances are, the germs your precious bod could pick up are fewer in number than the germs spread about in the kitchen that prepared your plate.

Albeit the rare occasion when I am out dining with friends or family I will always share food regardless of who it is. Now I may not hold up a fork for my friends to try some of my chicken but I will with my family members.

All the people that I consider to be my good friends are the ones that I go out with and they are close enough to me to be family so I don't feel that weird about it.

I have no problem sharing food either. We have a group of friends that dine out together about once a month, and we will often share what is on our plates w/each other.
When my sister & I dine out together, watch out...there are forks flying everywhere! I'm not worried about germs...my theory is that our concern with germs & over cleanliness is part of the problem these days. Everyone over sanitizes, so our immune systems are not used to every day germs anymore...therefore making us sick more often. I've never had any food illnesses.
I think everyone has given you enough relationship advice...I'm not going to go there.