What to feed to a big baby.
Once again I have to turn to the ever creative and very helpful serious eaters.
I am a personal assistant to a 23 year old professional online poker player. Among the many things I have been hired to do for him is cook him dinner 3 times a week. The meals have to last at least a couple of nights. It needs to be able to be zapped in the microwave or heat up on the stove top pretty quickly. HERE IS THE CATCH. When I met him I tried to get a sense of what he likes to eat and doesn't like to eat. He said "i'm picky about food the way kids are not the way adults are." To me that means if it looks funky he won't eat it. He says he doesn't like vegetables and especially not beans. He also doesn't know what he likes. I literally asked him what his last meal on earth would be and he said "I don't really think I'd care"!. I'm tearing my hair out trying to figure out what the F I am going to cook for this kid. I guess as time goes by I will get a better sense of what he likes and doesn't like since he doesn't seem to know. HELP!
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37 Comments:
Chicken nuggets and fries. Pizza (maybe barbeque chicken pizza). Tacos. Think about what you'd feed a kid who has been raised on fast food.
beth1 at 10:36PM on 10/13/08
Mac n cheese comes to mind. If he won't specify what he likes or dislikes, I'd stick with bland stuff because it's less likely to be offensive.
Maybe you could get a list of ingredients and have him check whether he likes or dislikes each one.
Or make whatever you feel like making, and if he hates it, it's his fault for not letting you know.
dbcurrie at 10:44PM on 10/13/08
So.... if he doesn't know what he likes, how does he know he doesn't like vegetables? Geez, what a brat. I don't suppose you could use the old "That's what's for dinner and you can either eat it or go hungry"?
On the other hand, maybe he's never had vegetables that were cooked properly. All my husband ever had were veggies that were murdered when he was in the navy. Now that he's been introduced to my cooking, it's amazing what he actually does like!
Anyway.... macaroni and cheese? Meatloaf and mashed potatoes? Spaghetti and meatballs? Alphabet soup? Then maybe you could start gradually introducing some novelties like broccoli and yams once in a while. You know, one new food a week, like you do with a baby.
buffy at 10:50PM on 10/13/08
After asking him question after question and just getting an "i don't know" I finally said what do you usually eat for dinner. His answer was protein bars!!! I think of myself as a good cook, it will be so against my conscience to feed him crap. I'm thinking maybe casserole, does anyone have any ideas for any? I agree with everthing everyone has said. The problem is that he pays me to feed him what he wants. I guess I have to get myself a mind reading machine.
waterbaby at 10:56PM on 10/13/08
I would say if it's his money you're cooking with, then start making whatever you think is good. I wouldn't stray too far from the meat and potatoes type dishes if he's picky, but it truly sounds to me like he's giving you an open forum, instead of closed, he just truly doesn't know what tastes good.
Keep it simple. Grill some steaks, roast a chicken, steam some veggies. There are a million easy pasta dishes that can be made ahead and reheated well. Cooks Illustrated has great books on casseroles and Make Ahead meals you might gather ideas from. Shepherd's pie, and Johnny Marzetti (some call it beefy macaroni) seem to be favorites. Pot roast, gratins, enchiladas, etc. etc.
Unless he's a jerk, which it doesn't sound like, I would think if he doesn't like something, he's not exactly going to fire you, so don't stress too much. I think it would be fun to be able to introduce someone into a whole new world of great foods that aren't complicated or processed. Hopefully he'll like what you make and want to learn from you how to make it, so he can become more independent. I really think you have a cool opportunity here if you look at it from the right angle.
bobcatsteph3 at 11:50PM on 10/13/08
Try typing out a menu a week ahead of time. List a bunch of options -gazillions -- from main to sides to desserts. Have him circle what he likes and let him literally put in his orders.
You might try using a kids' menu from some chain restaurant for inspiration. But seriously, maybe seeing a list of menu choices might eliminate agonizing guesswork.
(I'd love to add my $0.02 about him getting a real job ( a pro online poker player???!!?), but will bite my tongue.)
moibec at 11:53PM on 10/13/08
how about the staple for all children? hot dogs! don't forget to cut them into triangles for him so he doesn't choke.
He says he doesn't like vegetables, would he tolerate raw vegetables and dip?
ag3208 at 12:00AM on 10/14/08
Some carry-over meal ideas:
Roast a small hunk of beef and let him slice it cold for sandwiches the next night. Or hot with jarred gravy. (Somehow he seems the jarred gravy type.)
Cold fried chicken is also kinda ok the next night, if you side it with mac salad (kid-approved with no onions or celery or other unwanted objects). And chips.
Make up a deli platter with sandwich meats and sliced kid cheese (read: American) or string cheese. Get some sub rolls and a variety of condiments, if he's interested.
Will he eat chili with Doritos on the side? Bratwurst? Sausage? Turkey? Maybe a small one can be roasted and sliced for a few days' worth of sandwiches, hot or cold.
I hate to suggest Hamburger Helper-type meals but sometimes the combo of salt and sugar in those appeals to immature tastebuds, which might be one of his handicaps. Then again, too many things might be "touching" each other in those kinds of meals.
I gotta headache just thinking about this guy.
moibec at 12:29AM on 10/14/08
Salads. Since he's a giant douche, he can make his own vinagrette.
clemon79 at 3:01AM on 10/14/08
My niece is very picky, she eats at home mostly hot dogs and mac & cheese from a box, and most of these recipes I include here are approved by her and she actually requests them specifically... so I include them as Picky KId Approved recipes... I know you're mostly interested in the ease and appeal, more than the nutrition, but here are a few ideas...
Try this pasta where you don't need to cook the sauce. He can just boil the pasta and throw the sauce in to heat after draining the pasta.
Here are a few versions of macaroni - with cheese and spinach, with butternut squash, in a pink sauce, a latin version, and even a version where you don't even need to boil the pasta ahead..
I don't know if he might be into casseroles, but these are tasty and keep really good in the fridge - with regular potato, with sweet potato, or you can just roast some potatoes with mustard as a nice side dish
Good Luck...
Madelyn
KarmaFreeCooking
MadelynRodriguez at 3:04AM on 10/14/08
I was a personal chef for 2 priests. One priest was extremely picky and had a low sodium diet. The other priest would eat an old shoe if I served it to him. Basically it was trial and error becaue the picky one would not say anything about his like and dislikes until after I made it. If he is not going to give you much info on anything just experiment, I am sure he will give thumbs up or down and of course make thingsthat can be nuked or heated up on stove top.
pjracz10 at 3:18AM on 10/14/08
@clemon79 -- That was SO wrong. And yet, SO funny.
FastFoodCritic at 5:00AM on 10/14/08
Btw, when I first saw the title of this thread, I thought it was going to be about a big "baby"... like a huge, giant, monster sized infant.
Very disappointed.
FastFoodCritic at 5:44AM on 10/14/08
Maybe you should put him in a baby carriage and wheel him to McDonald's. That way he would get some fresh air, too.
foodvox at 7:01AM on 10/14/08
I wish I could earn half as much as him! :)
Some people just don't care about food. My mother was an EXCELLENT cook and made beautiful and delicious dishes, but at the end of the day, she saw food as sustenance. She ate to live. He might be the same way.
It appears he cares about his health or he wouldn't have hired a personal assistant to cook for him and w/o real food, eats nothing but protein bars.
If I were left to my own devices, I'd be eating chips in front of the monitor.
He would probably not want anything that's too complicated to eat like whole chicken (bone in) - stuff that needs to be messed with. Something that's lean, easy to eat, and packed with nutrition.
I need to head into a meeting ASAP so I guess this will give me something to think about instead of falling asleep for the next 2 hours. :)
Cassaendra at 7:34AM on 10/14/08
"...this will give me something to think about..."
You mean the giant MONSTER BABY, right? lol :-)
FastFoodCritic at 7:45AM on 10/14/08
@FFC, I thought that when I read the headline too. But I was thinking more of like, "this baby is 25% heavier than the average baby of his age" rather than a giant potentially man-eating baby the size of a house. But feeding the latter would obviously be a challenge.
As for your poker player, I think those above who have suggested a gradual approach are right one. What about trying lasagna? If he goes for it, try adding spinach to the ricotta the next time, and continue along the vegetable-enhancement path until he balks.
Another option is to make vegetable-free dishes (like mac and cheese or some of the meat options explored above), and keep the veggies on the side, but prepared in a simple, delicious manner and adequately seasoned (sounds like he probably has a high salt tolerance). Nobody actually hates vegetables, though there are those who think they hate them for decades, and it's too much to change their minds (e.g.: my dad, raised in the '50s when vegetables were most mistreated). But he's 23, so it's unlikely his feelings are that entrenched - he should open up to new foods.
And @moibec - yeah, a pro online poker player does sound a little strange, but...hey, I have a steady full-time salaried job and you don't see me affording a personal assistant!
producestories at 8:08AM on 10/14/08
My husband is a super picky eater....no onions, bacon, garlic, cream sauces....I could go on & on. I often will sneak onions & garlic in food I cook for him, since they are easily disguised. He works 2nd shift, so everything I make for him has to be reheated.
I stick w/basic meat & potatoes often....but will make chili or stew on occassion. I would steer away from casseroles with a picky eater, because they often think it looks 'gross'...and therefore won't touch it. Some exceptions to this rule are lasagna & taco bakes.
Simple rice dishes, to which meat & limited veggies are added are also a hit.
I think there were some great ideas above regarding making lists of different foods, and having him circle what he likes, or menus in advance that he can choose from....similar to what a personal chef would do for a client. It sounds like you have the right mind set though - this is your employer, so unfortunately you do have to cater to him. Good luck!
mepolo at 8:23AM on 10/14/08
I don't know, maybe it is my advanced age, but I would slap him silly then make him eat broccoli.
izatryt at 9:09AM on 10/14/08
Hey didnt the Duke of Sandwich invent it during a Poker game? Go that route, make healthy sanwiches, that he can hold with one hand and the mouse in the other.
nhfoodie at 9:36AM on 10/14/08
if the guy is eating protein bars, he obviously cares about his health. he also cares about his health if he wants you to cook for him instead of just getting takeout (because obviously he can afford that). i think the ideas for mac n cheese and lasagna, etc. are great, but i would talk to him aobut his caloric intake and ask what he expects from you in that sense. maybe then you can stick with staples but make them a little healthier (i.e. turkey meatloaf, high-protein spaghetti with turkey meatballs, grilled chicken sandwiches, etc.)
amaher40 at 9:59AM on 10/14/08
I love how most people's ideas seem to be to get this guy eating healthier and more adventurously--none of this stop-gap, give-him-what-he-wants stuff.
Christina at 10:42AM on 10/14/08
I am DYING to know who you are working for! And very curious about what you wind up feeding him. I have nothing to offer, except nosiness. Haha!
erinlovestoeat at 1:09PM on 10/14/08
@amaher40--I dunno, a lot of protein bars are just excuses to make gummy compact bricks that taste vaguely like chocolate or peanut butter and are about 60% of your daily calorie intake. Most of the ones on the market aren't very healthy, they're just an easy sort of macho snack. At least IMO.
Christina at 1:22PM on 10/14/08
clem79--i am so in love with you right now--ha ha ha ha ha!
gastronomeg at 2:01PM on 10/14/08
Unfortunately I cannot disclose who it is I work for, that would violate the contract I signed my soul away to. These ideas are great. I get torn on how to react to the situation. He's kind of apathetic about the whole thing, it kind of ticks me off. Plus who the hell doesn't have a favorite food!! I mean really you can't tell me what you love to eat! are you human?
I guess I feel like his mom, except your mom can put food down in front of you and say "that's what's for dinner, eat it or don't eat anything." but I don't get that privilege. I guess I'm just disappointed. When I got hired to cook I was really excited and then I found out that I get a blank check, not to buy cool and unusual ingredients and make great amazing dishes that I would never otherwise have the funds to make but to cook chicken nuggets for a rich picky eater WHO WON"T TELL ME ANYTHING. sorry, only you guys would understand the frustration.
waterbaby at 5:57PM on 10/14/08
You know two things he likes. Cards and money.
I suggest that you make anything you want to make in terms of ingredients and recipes but buy a huge rectangular plate to serve it on. When you plate it, put it in the shape of the face of a card. An Ace, a Queen, whatever. Dab and set the foods here and there so that the shape is recognizable as the face of a card to Mr. Online Poker.
Put a note next to the dish saying that if he cleans his plate, he WINS!!!!!!! And ring a bell or something if indeed the deed is done.
Your bonus pay is pretty much guaranteed as far as I can see if you are willing to do this.
foodvox at 6:15PM on 10/14/08
Correct my first sentence to 'cards and winning'. Money is probably just something over to the side.
But if he does like money, add on a rectangular plate dinner to your menus in the shape of a dollar sign. :)
foodvox at 6:18PM on 10/14/08
@clem79--brilliant!
@Christina--I agree. Protein bars are not nearly as healthy as people think they are. Unless you really need something to plug you up.
Best of luck, waterbaby! We all feel your pain.
buffy at 6:27PM on 10/14/08
This guy reminds me of my husband when we were first married. He ate meat & potatoes and green beans. I gradually added new foods and he ended up liking everything - he just hadn't had them (his father was a picky eater, too) or they weren't prepared well. I remember being shocked that the cake I baked for his birthday was the first he had ever had. His family was just so different from mine. There wasn't a single thing he ever asked me not to make again, or ingredient he disliked. Even Velveeta - hah.
PerkyMac at 6:34PM on 10/14/08
I'd suggest anything that you can add Ranch dressing to. Chicken nuggets are a good choice for that reason. Also creamy cheesy sandwiches... French fries... Breadsticks...
Maybe eventually you can use this as a stepping stone to blue cheese dressing and salads, but I think you'll need to start slow.
jessie at 7:33PM on 10/14/08
I cook for a (30 year old) friend whose food tastes are...stunted. I've found allrecipes.com to be a great resource for finding things she'll enjoy - so many of the recipes on the site are that busy-mom, cream-of-something-soup-casserole type. And, the reviewers usually mention whether their kids would eat it or not. Not haute cuisine, but solid stuff.
If you are concerned with keeping this guy healthy, homemade versions of kid classics like chicken nuggets or manwiches might be a good way to go since you can limit the chemicals/additives/sodium/fat but still get him to eat it. Chances are pretty good, if he's been living on protien bars, he'll eat veggies if they're conveniently available.
AliceBlue at 7:50PM on 10/14/08
I would ask him what his 'goals' are with eating--does he want food that tastes good or re: the protien bars, is he trying to eat healthfully (I realize some people find them fake food, but I think that is a clue that he thinks he should eat healthfully for the sake of his game).
When I went to college, there were a number of gourmet fast food places and the guys liked to consume chicken wings, potato skins with cheese and bacon, spicy and curly fries, cheese fries, mozarella sticks, falafel, pita sandwiches with roasted meat, and so forth. All easy to eat in hand, too.
Another popular not so unhealthy fast food style food that guys liked in college was one place that used to charcoal grill chicken breasts without the bone, then serve them on rolls with bacon and melted swiss, or salsa and monteray jack.
HeartofGlass at 8:22PM on 10/14/08
chop a onion and red pepper . chop a couple chicken breast into bite size pieces. cook the veggies in olive oil and put aside. in the same pan brown the chicken then add the veggies back in and add a whole bottle of salsa of your choice. simmer for a few minutes and serve with goya yellow rice or on a wrap with sour cream, cheddar. i cook for 3 guys and they gobble it up. if he likes spicy add a hot pepper or just use hot salsa. try it.
dearrie at 8:23PM on 10/14/08
Riffing off the potato skins, twice-baked potatoes might be a good idea for something that makes a meal: load it up with cheese and bacon and whatever.
Chili without the icky beans would be great with corn bread.
Classic style lasagne is always a hit, or you could simplify with baked ziti.
Chicken pot pies are easily made ahead, and in individual portions. You can sneak in veggies too, with carrots, potatoes, peas.
renzata at 9:05PM on 10/14/08
Ask him what he orders when eating out - that might give you an idea for flavors/tastes, etc.
Get an idea of what he eats the rest of the day too - is he a healthy eater or does he tend to junk food - this should help you decide between chicken nuggets and something more sophisticated.
Otherwise, try thinking of foods often served to large crowds, or what you'd serve to dinner guests if you don't know their particular preferences. Stick to more basic flavors, with food that generally resembles what it actually is.
If you're excited about the food you made, chances are he'll be more willing to try something new. If he doesn't like it - find out why, and at least you'll have something to go on.
Good luck, and have fun!
thinkingincrayons at 9:07PM on 10/14/08
Haha, totally got the same impression as Fast Food Critic! I can't believe this 23 year old has a personal assistant. I'm 23, so this makes me feel....awkward. Maybe try making some lasagna or pasta with homemade sauce? Those are "child-friendly" but aren't as insulting as like chicken nuggets and fries or something like that.
Hillary
Chew on That
Chew on That at 12:51PM on 10/15/08