What is the most vile dish you have ever created?
Maybe it was a recipe printing error, your preparation mistake, or just a downright disgusting combination that didn't seem so until you made it. Tell me!
I ask because last night, in an attempt to try a new, quick recipe, I made something even my most open-minded taste-tester refused after a bite. It was a simple sauteeing of red cabbage and onions with some balsamic vinegar, s&p, and corn. It was gross! And smelled bad! I needed white vinegar just to get the smell out of the pan. Never again.
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56 Comments:
I think I've referred to this before - but I once made a pizza with a jarred antipasto as the sauce, half a pound of bacon - chopped and crisp, and mozarella cheese. It was so awful - and it was a recipe I took from the manufacturer of the antipasto! I think it failed for us because neither my ex (who was the unfortunate recipient of this item) nor I realized that antipasto was pickled (and contained green beans, something I detest pickled). I took one bite and he took about three. The rest went in the garbage, along with the jar of antipasto and we went out.
Maureen at 10:13AM on 10/09/08
The most recent thing that comes to mind was a pretzel mustard chicken that I think I saw on here... I don't know what went wrong but both my husband and I made icky faces at it and ended up eating something else.
blech
Southern_bella at 10:20AM on 10/09/08
Cincinnati Chili
grampart at 10:30AM on 10/09/08
I tried to make Ground Bologna Sandwich on a Stick. The result was Soggy Sandwich Glop and Pastry Dough with A Piece O' Wood.
LunaPierCook at 10:34AM on 10/09/08
@LPC ~ Seriously?
A number of years ago, I attempted an orange roughy with white beans recipe of Bobby Flay's. He made it and it looked delicious! By the time I was finished cooking it, the smell was so bad we did not even try it. It took me a week to get the stench out of the house. To this day if someone says orange roughy, I run like hell!
izatryt at 10:40AM on 10/09/08
@izzy, yup. Not giving up yet though.
LunaPierCook at 10:49AM on 10/09/08
@LPC ~ I would, sounds disgusting.
izatryt at 10:52AM on 10/09/08
Ick, it was probably the wild rice, bacon and cheddar soup I attempted once. I have no idea what I did to it, but I don't know how BF even choked down the half a bowl of that smoky glop he did. I think part of the problem was the bacon - I usually crumble bacon, but the recipe said to chop it and cook it with onions - it was fatty and slightly burned for some reason, which I think is where the smokiness came from. And then the wild rice part was also a failure, far too al dente, and there was way too much milk.
It was basically fatty, smoky bacon, crunchy wild rice, and potatoes in whole milk. Yuck.
embolini9 at 10:56AM on 10/09/08
i am cracking up between lcp and izzy...
my brother and i once made a pizza together and loaded it up with dried sage---completely unedible. we still joke about it to this day.
gastronomeg at 11:00AM on 10/09/08
When I was a kid I tried to make Peking ravioli with turkey bologna.
I do not recommend this.
Amandarama at 11:02AM on 10/09/08
My grandma used to make clam fritters from fresh clams we dug from the bay in her back yard. These were amazing little pieces of heaven. After she passed, my dad and I were longing for fritters and attempted a batch. We didn't have a recipe with proportions, only an ingredient list. I have no idea what was wrong, possibly everything but the came out tasting like fluffy clam pancakes. Gross, the texture and taste were nothing like grandma's!
KtMc24 at 11:03AM on 10/09/08
@izzy, once something works I'll post photos and a recipe at my blog. My ground bologna is better than most ... usually, anyway! ;-)
LunaPierCook at 11:03AM on 10/09/08
@Amandarama, so that would be Puking ravioli, eh? :-D
LunaPierCook at 11:05AM on 10/09/08
Many years ago I decided that a simple tossed pasta dish with salmon and tomatoes sounded good. Only problem was that the salmon and tomatoes I had on hand were both canned. I turned out the most disgusting, mushy pile of pasta I'd ever made or eaten. I would have preferred a can of Chef Boyardee at that point!
saroo at 11:47AM on 10/09/08
When you experiment as much as I do, there are bound to be bombs, but my kids still talk about the cornbread with onions that was fed to the big circular mouth with a stainless steel lid. Holy awful it twere.
PerkyMac at 12:00PM on 10/09/08
I added canned clams to an asian stir-fry once...
it ruined everything.
*embarassing blush*...don't know what I was thinking there
hungrychristel at 12:16PM on 10/09/08
Early in my cooking career, I decided to try frying shrimp. (I think I received a deep-fryer as a gift...) When shopping for shrimp, I somehow decided that raw shrimp seemed "difficult" and couldn't possibly get cooked thoroughly in the deep-fryer, so I bought cooked shrimp. Then, when making the batter for the coating, it seemed too thin and too flavorless, so I kept adding more flour until I had a nice, thick glop and then mixed in the dried "italian mix" spices in my cupboard. To top it all off, you guessed it, I didn't let the oil get hot enough. I ended up with a greasy, gummy, stuck-together blob of overcooked shrimp.
We ate out that night, and it was at least 24 hours before I had the courage to clean up my mess.
jessie at 1:33PM on 10/09/08
A few months ago I went home for lunch (worked within walking distance) and found there was nothing to prepare. But I had eggs! I'm an omelette freak, so I decided to whip one up. The only fillings I had were lunchmeat (no bread either). So I made a salami and mustard omelette. I cringe even now. I'm not proud of it, but sometimes you gotta do what you have to do to eat.
JessMess at 2:12PM on 10/09/08
@JessMess, actually, I'm wondering about that one. Grilled salami and chopped onion, in a thick, three-egg omelet that is then topped with a little bit of mild, thick beanless chili, garnished with a small squiggle of brown mustard.
Sounds kinda good, actually.
LunaPierCook at 2:57PM on 10/09/08
I once tried to "jazz up" some blanched carrots and looked into my cupboard for inspiration. What did I find? Vanilla extract.
I don't know what was worse: the cloying, sickening-sweet aroma, or the nasty flavor of the carrots themselves. It was horrible. I don't know what I was thinking. And of course, it was when I had guests over.
hungryinhouston at 4:00PM on 10/09/08
German Sauerkraut Soup. The dog wouldn't even touch it willingly....(we did goad her into eating some though with YUM YUMS! which was funny. :P)
It was this disgusting watery mess. Not at all sauerkrauty, porky, or delicious...-y.
feriorrenna at 4:11PM on 10/09/08
@LunieKook ~ I am totally grossed out by the thought of ground bologna! Please do not torture me with photos too!!
izatryt at 4:18PM on 10/09/08
Actually, last week I blogged the top 10 worst things I've ever cooked:
http://finefuriouslife.com/2008/09/29/the-ten-worst-things-i-have-ever-cooked/
One of them was this "wonderful" idea I had of deep-frying a bunch of sugary dough, neglecting the fact that the burning point of sugar is about 100 times lower than flour and eggs. So I ended up with blackened beignets with completely raw insides, and an apartment that smelled like ash.
The saddest part of this story is that I used to work as a pastry chef. I honestly had some kind of a brain freeze that day.
frenetica at 4:22PM on 10/09/08
@izzy, you'd have to hold judgement until you've tried mine. My kids pile it on the bread 1/2" thick.
LunaPierCook at 5:49PM on 10/09/08
*fingers in ears* lalalalalalalalalalala
izatryt at 6:19PM on 10/09/08
I once made a soup that somehow involved both ham and soymilk. I've pretty much blocked the whole experience.
sobriquet at 7:55PM on 10/09/08
@LPC.....years ago we used to grind bologna,hot dogs,salami and ham,mix it with mayo,relish,s&p an sell it as ham salad....we couldn't make enough !!!
onepercent99 at 8:00PM on 10/09/08
it was insisted that i buy cajun spice at the dollar store instead of my usual. made the chicken it was awful but they kept eating and then said they needed to go out. i went outside after they left the street had 2 puddles of puke. they never complained again when i bought my stuff. another time i was into red pepper flakes. sprinked them on everyones steaks everything was great. about 2 hours later i can hear my brother-in-law downstairs cursing my name. they all had the ring of fire. i wasn't allowed near their food for a while.
dearrie at 9:29PM on 10/09/08
My hired help once made me a cream cheese and bologna sandwich on white toast.
Doctorted at 9:46PM on 10/09/08
cream cheese on salami isnt for kids anymore. yummy
dearrie at 9:50PM on 10/09/08
@Doc ~ Hired Help? What the F????
izatryt at 10:04PM on 10/09/08
scrambled eggs cooked with chopped up hotdogs. Blech!! My dads creation. It grew more with each chew.
floridagirl at 10:15PM on 10/09/08
I made a basil shrimp pasta dish once....I don't know what I was thinking but I was too lazy to go to the grocery store to buy fresh basil and i thought that dried basil would turn out just fine! Besides, it's dried basil, how different can it be from fresh basil, right? (this was when I first started experimenting with food, when I was in college)....at the point in the recipe where you had to add the basil, everything was cooking and smelling wonderful! My stepdad and I were so excited! I added the dried basil......and *poof* it ruined everything, we took one look at it......and ordered Pizza! Couldn't even get the dog to eat it. We still laugh about it to this day!
uaskigyrl at 10:35PM on 10/09/08
I tried to make a pasta dish with what I had on hand - which involved bacon, olive oil, olives, garlic, and a splash of orange juice. If I'd had lemon juice it would have been okay - but OJ just didn't work with the olives and garlic. It was utterly disgusting. I gave up and ordered pizza that night.
jenilowrance at 10:45PM on 10/09/08
It actually happened in culinary school. There was a biscuit recipe in our baking book. We followed the recipe to the letter. The biscuits tasted like soap. They even had a soapy texture (almost like that of compressed laundry powder) . The recipe called for too much baking soda. They were truly horrible.
beth1 at 12:17AM on 10/10/08
Many years ago I made a 3 day chilli for a foot ball party I threw and of course a made a s#@t load of it. I usually made chilli w/ canned beans but this time I used dried beans. I soaked them over night before the day of game but they were still hard the day of game. So I threw them in the chilli and turned the pot up high and hoped beans would get soft. Well lets just say it burned the chilli causing that gross charred taste and the beans were crunchy. It was just gross mess.
pjracz10 at 4:05AM on 10/10/08
@onepercent99, I like the sounds of that!
LunaPierCook at 5:25AM on 10/10/08
The ground bologna and "ham salad" sound just like the deviled ham my mom used to put on sandwiches back in the day. I haven't had it in years, but I loved it then!
The most vile thing I ever made? Muffins without flour...epic fail. (For the record, I was twelve and just figuring out how to follow recipes.) : )
Junie at 9:23AM on 10/10/08
@izatryt: Did you know that the original name for "orange roughy" was the descriptive "slimehead?"
1stmakearoux at 9:54AM on 10/10/08
@1st ~ Well now, I'm just speechless!
izatryt at 9:57AM on 10/10/08
Sweet and sour meatballs. I decided I wanted a *touch* more sour and basically ended up with pickled meatballs.
Then there was the time I decided to experiment with caraway seeds. Boy did that ruin a perfectly good coleslaw.
AmazonGoddess at 11:35AM on 10/10/08
Tried Bobby Flay's recipe for deviled eggs.
Apparently there was a typo or I misread the amount of pickle relish needed - I ended up adding triple the amount - like 3/4 C instead of a couple of tablespoons.
I brought them to the party anyway. Took the cover off the pretty deviled egg dish, and the scent of pickles overwhelmed the rest of the buffet area. Can you blame the other guests for leaving them untouched?
sixsonnets at 11:49AM on 10/10/08
I had a bad experience with a Baby Ruth cake. I had a boyfriend who loved the candy bars, and I was hoping to impress him for his bday. I think the cake was a basic sponge cake, but the frosting included melted mini Baby Ruth bars and caramels. It never set and kept sliding off the cake in puddles. If you can imagine eating an entire bag of Baby Ruths and caramels, then getting sick to your stomach and vomiting directly on a sponge cake, you've got a pretty accurate picture of the cake. His roommates swore that it tasted alright, but I went to Plan B and stuck a candle in a store-bought canoli.
nosillak at 3:18PM on 10/10/08
I'm going to have to go with these cottage cheese pancakes. A friend's mom used to make them for me and I loved them so I tried making them myself one day and they were grossss!
Hillary
Chew on That
Chew on That at 5:07PM on 10/10/08
Ohhh there have been so many bombs over the years... I am always willing to tackle exotic and complicated recipes, so I have more than my share of nights where dinner is a PB&J sandwich with a whole lot of "WTH was THAT??"
I think the funniest one recently was this crockpot recipe for chicken in mole sauce.... I cooked it all day... had the new BF coming over for dinner that night, pretty sure it was the first meal I ever made for him.... Still not sure if the recipe was just bad, or if I somehow diverged from it accidentally...
To this day I have not been allowed to live down the time I tried to serve him Chocolate Chicken... And to a guy with no sweet tooth either! I might have been able to play it off if he'd been a chocoholic...
I swear I have no idea how it got so sweet, it was awful. If you'd like to recreate it in your head just think boneless skinless chicken breasts, slllllooooow cooked with onions and garlic in a rich thick mixture of Hershey's syrup and La Victoria taco sauce.... that'll get you pretty close....
*shudder*
hmneilson at 8:59PM on 10/10/08
I sometimes like to "wing it" especially when I'm trying to develop something I can see in my mind's eye. I tried making this roasted onion dip (to replace the onion soup type dip) and OMG, that was just wretched. The onions never got sweet and they didn't get tender. It tasted like crunchy raw-oniony goo that went straight into the trash.
My mind's eye was on LSD that day.
therealchiffonade at 10:52PM on 10/10/08
let's see... there was the time i had the idea to make mashed sweet potatoes, and they turned out sort of bland, so i kept adding things and mashing away... more butter, more salt, more bourbon, more nutmeg, more cinnamon, more maple syrup. my SO at the time, who always said that i was the best cook he had ever met, grimaced at the first bite and instructed me sternly never to serve them again.
cybercita at 11:47PM on 10/10/08
I am legendary for a dish I cooked in grad school...trying to make fried rice with assorted vegetables. Instead, it was a gloppy, gelatinous mess of half-cooked rice, scrambled egg and salty, mushy mixed vegetables from a Bird's Eye bag that had been sitting in the back of the freezer for most of that semester. My old roommate brings it up any chance he gets...even though, thanks to my wife, I have become a reasonably good cook. It is still good for a big laugh.
Scottzel at 10:47AM on 10/11/08
It was meatloaf that I overloaded with powdered mustard. Way too pungent and bitter.
Ribster at 11:13AM on 10/11/08
I've had many unfortunately, but there is one that I'm reminded of nearly everyday. My boyfriends brother helped me move some furniture once, so to thank him I made him (and my boyfriend) some Pad Thai. I'd actually had made it the week previously so I thought I could replicate it successfully. Instead I accidentally used the wrong noodles, which in turn meant I burned the food waiting for the noodles to cook through (I'm not too good with the wok). Anyhow, I ended up with burnt veggies and undercooked noodles. For whatever, reason, I was in denial that my dinner was beyond salvageable. So I told my boyfriend and his brother to put hot sauce and squeeze a lime on it to make it better. And then I promised it would be good. Well, now, every time I make dinner for them, they say 'put some hot sauce and lime on it'. I will never live that one down.
blankplate at 11:29AM on 10/11/08
Uggh! I deglazed a chicken dish with semi-sweet white wine. It was terrible.
NuJoi at 5:58PM on 10/11/08
before i learned to cook i decided to make Lemon Chicken for my boyfriend. he said "do you have a recipe?" and i said "recipe scmecipe". into the baking dish went some squirts of lemon juice. in went some chicken breasts, some chopped onions, s&p, and well, more lemon juice. into the oven it went.
after two bites i'm pretty sure we threw it away. boyfriend bought me a cookbook, complete with lemon chicken recipe.
years went by, boyfriend became husband, we mostly learned to cook. He decided to make fried rice one day. recipe in hand, he went to work with the wok. but the rice just wasn't turning that perfect brown color that it always is at the chinese restaurant! so he added some soy sauce, for color. then he added some more soy sauce for color, then some more. it was so salty the apartment smelled of nothing but salty soy sauce for a week. usually, i love all things soy, but i couldn't touch the stuff for nearly a year.
redhead at 9:15PM on 10/11/08
The cafeteria at my university made the most fantastic lentil soup. After graduation, I tried the canned stuff, but it didn't come close. Soooo, I decided to make it myself. I didn't think it tasted bad, but it looked like and had the same consistency of tar with little pieces of fluorescent orange carrots peeking out. My Mom and BF tried it to be polite, but no one could get past that asphalt look. I'm not allowed to make it EVER EVER again. LOL!
Josdean at 8:55AM on 10/12/08
@Josdean ~ that reminded me of the turquoise blue soup in Bridget Jones Diary. I'll bet yours tasted a lot better than it looked. LOL
PerkyMac at 10:31AM on 10/12/08
Well, after reading some of these post I got up the nerver to share mine.
Stuffed Bell Pepppers...
I didnt know you was suppose to blanch the peppers, before stuffing. So they was crunchy. Nor did I know you was suppose to cook the rice first.
So the rice was hard and crunchy as well. Bless my husband heart, he said wow we will have to have that again one night. ( yeah right! )
I have now got that recepe down path.
Homemade Gravey:
One morning trying to make this in a small skillet, from bacon grease I had just fried. It was a bit runny. So I called my mom, she said add a little flour and water, or cornstartch and water to it and it should just thicken up. How much is a little when you have no clue? And why add water when its runny? So i just added about a 1/2 cup of cornstartch. OMG I ran and got a glass of water, no I need a pitcher now. Oh My heavens I had enough lumpy gravey to feed every Serious Eats Memeber.
needless to say..We had Biscuits and no gravey.
molly14 at 11:50AM on 10/13/08
you don't have to blanch. mix the stuffing with sauce and after stuffing them top with a little more. cover and bake at 325 for 2-3 hours. they will be soft and better than any restaurant.
dearrie at 9:25PM on 10/16/08