Food Theft
I was a pretty rotten teenager and I can (fondly) recall a few occasions in which I dined and ditched or walked into a grocery store with no money only to walk out with a pack of a dozen California Rolls. I'm better now, I swear! Well, kind of ....
So earlier tonight I was walking my dog and I realized that a ton of my neighbors in the surrounding area have various fruit trees and vegetable plants. As Daisy (the dog) and I were walking we came across a huge, stunning lime tree. I picked a large one, just for the smell. I figured it'd be a waste to throw it on the ground, so I put it in my pocket for later use in arroz con leche. Shortly after we come across neighbors who have a massive Hass avocado tree. Three of them were just lying there near the curb, so I picked them up. They were basically in the street and would have gone to waste! Once we were closer to home we went by a guy's house affectionately known as the "drunk tomato man" in our neighborhood. He's an old drunk who grows a ridiculous amount of tomatoes and sells them to neighbors for his liquor money. Apparently he'd given up on the selling because he had a huge bucket of tomatoes with a "Free" sign above them. Naturally, I grabbed a couple.
As I sit here munching on my half stolen guacamole, I'm wondering if any Serious Eaters have food theft stories they'd like to share. I promise I won't tell ...
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27 Comments:
Well, I almost got called out for trying to climb and hit down the plums in our neighborhood! My old best friend and I wanted some of these delicious looking red plums..and this lady said that it would be okay for us to grab some off her tree(we went to her door to ask, actually) but, as soon as she saw that we could not reach and were hitting them down..she got furious and threatened to call the cops on us..I think that she forgot that we had asked her first..and even after explaining that we could not reach the limbs and we had to throw rocks or hit the branches, she still had a COW, over this!!!
(The only other thing that I really can also honestly come clean with ...is that when I was younger..I stole or "snuck" food out of our refrigerator...stuff like Hershey's ice cream syrup, and chocolate nestles coco powder...and sometimes brown sugar too! I also took from relatives who put their cocoa in the spice cabinets..I was NOT doing this for attention..I merely wanted the chocolate! LOL!
I also, stole a lot of candy from my step-dad..who was a buyer for a supermarket...He used to bring home candies and such..and well, thinking that I was "not going to get caught" at least..not right off the bat, anyhow, I stole about 40 life saver lollipops. and so on...UNfortunately for me...that stuff was NOT supposed to have been eaten in the first place..and I got into a LOT of trouble! I was NOT supposed to have eaten ANY of this ...I think that he was giving it to someone, or something..and when they only found like two in the box..I was automatically "in for it!"*smirks* LOL!
I have been "good" sort of, ever since..and since I am a type two diabetic..(I am still just as bad!! LOL! However...My sugar eating habits are NOT what they used to be a long ways back! Bummer on that one!!!)
lilbrnbear at 3:59AM on 10/25/08
When I was little, I was with my mother at the market and while we were standing in the checkout line, I grabbed a piece of Double Bubble, had it unwrapped and in my mouth as my mother looked down at me in horror. She paid the penny for the piece of gum, smacked me on the backside and I did not get dessert that night. I was really upset that she actually took the gum out of my mouth and threw it away! Then of course I got the "lecture" about stealing. I think I was all of 4 years old.
izatryt at 8:47AM on 10/25/08
Mine is about the same circumstance as izatryt... I was about 5 and in the local store with my Mom when we walked by the Brach's candy bins and the temptation was too much. I pocketed on of those neopalitan candies they have and once we got home I pulled it out and started unwrapping it. My Mom was appalled that I had made it home with it and proceeded to take me directly back to the store where I had to apologize to the owner and give it back.
Alm25 at 10:14AM on 10/25/08
Every summer, I practically lived on peaches - stolen, I guess. I was having too much fun to go home for lunch. The people who owned the orchard never, ever picked them. I think it was already there when they bought the house. I particularly loved the white flesh peaches. I'm pretty sure (those are the defining words) they knew and didn't care. It was a shock to me that someone would let so much food go to waste. I only picked what I was eating. I never thought to take a stash home. My mother would have marched me to the neighbors front door and watched as I apologized and I'd die as she told the neighbor how many weeks I would be grounded.
My friend's grandmother had a pear tree and we ate those too, but I don't think those silly pears ever got ripe. They still tasted good.
PerkyMac at 11:02AM on 10/25/08
@PumpkinBear - I want to move to your neighbourhood!-:)
brooke29 at 11:16AM on 10/25/08
My husband's restaurant needed leeks asap so I went to the market to buy 3 bunches of leeks (nine lovely stalks), I didn't pay attention to the checkout clerk until he anounced my total was something around $2.00. I said huh? He explained that the green onions were 3 for $1.79 or something... I just said, oh, and swiped my debit card. It's not exactly the same thing as the others, but I've been feeling guilty about it and really wanted to confess to someone other than my husband...phew!
wookie at 12:02PM on 10/25/08
The boyf and I were doing our weekly grocery shopping at the local store - which is in the home-stretch of a complete remodel. Needing some white pepper to make up blackening spices, he measured out about 6 ounces from the bulk spice section, bagged and labeled it, and we continued on our way. Once at the register, however, the clerk (obviously already very frustrated) was upset that she couldn't find the price in the computer or the little book they keep at the register for just this occasion. That six ounces of white pepper ended up being only $.20!!! I know that we should have paid at least 30 times that - so while we didn't steal it, it was sure a steal in any case!
skookumouzel at 12:43PM on 10/25/08
When I was in third grade I stole a piece of penny candy and was dumb enough to walk into the house still sucking on it. My mother (who had three little ones at home) wrote a note to the store, made me get a penny from my bank and called several neighbors along the way to watch and make sure I completed my two-block perp walk!
That ended temptation at an early age.
Blue Iris at 5:55PM on 10/25/08
I lived in this house one year where the next door nieghbors had a small asian pear tree. I would take one every morning for breakfast. So delicious! But the next fall the nieghbors harvested the pears all at once leaving none for me!
sailordave at 8:14PM on 10/25/08
PerkyMac--I thought pears only ripened after they were picked.
I was about to say that my only 'theft' was eating baked stuff from the refrigerator (my mother's or my grandmother's) when I was not supposed to, or taking some food from the dining hall in college (which was technically verboten, but hardly seemed that bad, given the amount you had to shell out for the school).
However, then I remembered as a camp counselor at an academic camp, I, along with the other campers and counselors, were served bin cereal, fish nuggets and tater tots. However, in the same, cordoned-off cafeteria, I noticed that the ballet camp which was run on the same college campus, but through a different program, was being served bran muffins, yogurt, prepared salads, and fancy sandwiches on crusty baguettes. Eventually, the camp administrator noticed that my food looked suspiciously different than everyone else, dressed me down for setting a bad example for violating the rules, then complained to the facility owner that even though he was paying as much as the ballet camp, his camp was getting crappy food.
All the guy counselors just complained the portions were kid sized, not 'man sized' though :p
BTW, St.Augustine stole fruit from a neighbor's orchard, according to his Confessions, before he converted. And felt very guilty about it after the fact ;) I wish I had grown up in an area with so many lovely fruit trees nearby!
HeartofGlass at 5:21AM on 10/26/08
@HeartofGlass-- that scrumping incident tortured him for the rest of his life!
Christina at 9:25AM on 10/26/08
Well, I never stole food but I have definately snuck food. When I was younger I would hide in my pantry and eat Kool-Aid from the container... with my finger. I was caught a few times when hungry family members would open the pantry looking for a quick snack, finding a red-tongued child with a sugar rush.
ZenBuddha at 9:37AM on 10/26/08
I remember when I was a little girl my sister lived in cali and she had avocado,lemon,lime and something else all growing in her backyard. I don't remember ever stealing off a tree but then I don't live where yummy trees are in yards. If I saw a fig tree or anything I might have to ring the bell and ask as I think the guilt would make it bitter, but then I am slightly pathetic!
love2cook at 3:32PM on 10/26/08
My step father was born and raised in Jamaica, so I have been there several times. He would often take me on road trips so I could reallly see the island. A road trip was never complete without a stop on a country road to pick a grapefruit, or jackfruit, orange...something off of a random tree. He'd always insist that people do it all the time and that no one will mind. I always looked over my shoulder and hoped that no one saw us.
Sweetie at 6:27PM on 10/26/08
When we were little, my mother would buy yoghurts with a foil lid. She bought us 3 kids each one chocolate, one strawberry and one plain. Well, my youngest brother loved yoghurts, especially chocolate ones and we would go to the refrigerator of an evening and get our yoghurts out.for pudding. My middle brother and I would take off the foil lids and there would be a pot with barely any yoghurt inside! This went on for weeks, and my mother was going to write to the manufacturer and complain, until we finally caught my youngest brother sticking a straw into the pots and drinking the yoghurt out! Of course, having a foil lid, he used to rub his nail over the foil and no-one was any the wiser.
snowmoonelk at 6:34PM on 10/26/08
When I was about 5, my family and I were eating at Wendy's. I got a happy meal but my big brother got the "Super Bar" (remember that?). I was jealous because he was eating watermelon so I went to the buffet and grabbed a piece for myself. One of the workers called me out and I dropped the melon triangle on the floor and ran off crying.
smile at 10:33PM on 10/26/08
@HeartofGlass~ ....so pears don't ripen on the tree? Well, no wonder I never picked a ripe one then. I figured it was just too early to pick. Learn something here nearly every day - thanks for the info.
PerkyMac at 1:07AM on 10/27/08
Yup, I just learned that as well--that's why pears are hard as rocks but ripen and become something tasty (versus stony). More info on ripening pears--this makes them unique, apparently, as opposed to almost any other fruit:
http://www.hort.purdue.edu/ext/pears.html
HeartofGlass at 5:03AM on 10/27/08
When I was little, I loved those caramel chew things with the creamy sugary center. I was at the grocery store with my mom and somehow one of us wandered off from the other and I found the caramel chews. I took one out of the container and ate it. I was so happy until I realized I completely lost my mom (when you're little, grocery stores are huge!) I started crying, served me right for stealing the caramel chew.
Hillary
Chew on That
Chew on That at 10:42AM on 10/27/08
Actually, I was arrested for shoplifting food I did not need about 25 years ago. Nothing cute or entertaining about the story at all. The guy who I stole from was being robbed blind by a bunch of assholes like me, as it turns out. The cops kept me in jail for 12 hours, much longer than they needed to. My dad came to pay my bail, and could not even look me in the eye.
OATIE at 12:59PM on 10/27/08
I was about 20 and in the Army, stationed in Germany in the early 80's. I lived in the barracks and missed home cooked food so I had a double burner hotplate and a few pots and pans and a small fridge. I used to cook for all my friends on the weekends.
One summer night, a few of us got pretty drunk (nothing out of the ordinary there) and a guy and I decided to raid a nearby farmer's garden. We had getaway drivers and everything. We got corn, and green tomatoes which I fried, and other things I don't all remember, but I made a big dinner for everyone in my room the next day.
Good times.
robincat at 2:02PM on 10/27/08
@wookie once the cashier punched in the code for garlic when i was buying fennel, what a deal! i didn't even realize until i got home.
cm82 at 4:22PM on 10/27/08
I didn't technically "steal" the food--I paid for it, it just wasn't the right price. A grocery store that I frequent near my apartment has started to carry this new line of AMAZING artisan breads. I stood in front of the bread case a couple weeks ago, agonizing over whether or not I should splurge on a $5.99 cute little sourdough loaf (and "little" means that it would be about four servings). I decided to treat myself, and got some other groceries as well. When the checkout person rang me up, he glanced at it and said, "Just a roll, right?" and not understanding exactly what he meant, I nodded. The price for "just a roll?" $.79! I saved over $5.00! I could've stopped him and not cheated or "stolen," but I figured it was a one-time deal that I'd never get again.
And, now that I've written about it, I feel guilty. Argh.
magmcadam at 5:43PM on 10/27/08
Bless me Father for I have sinned...
My Dad was a distributor for Archway Cookies so we had like a billion and six packages of Archway goodness laying just on the other side of "that" wall calling my name every day of my young life. Who could resist?
The downside was, we used to save up our allowance to buy bags of Oreos! The only way we could get those sugary nothings was to sneak them into our bedrooms so of course we'd consume the whole package in one afternoon so we wouldn't be caught fraternizing with the enemy.
DeaconVolker at 10:03AM on 10/28/08
I remember being about 7 years old and being a girl scout with my mom as the troop leader. She had all the cookies that people had ordered sent to our house so she could give them to the girls to deliver to the people who had already paid for them. I clearly didn't understand that those cookies were already bought and paid for. I snuck (stole??) a few boxes, ate all the cookies, and hid the evidence in my laundry basket (I was a smooth criminal). Needless to say I was caught, and I hardly remember ever being in more trouble.
imalittlechile at 10:41AM on 10/28/08
@lmalittlechile ~ I was a troop leader for many years, but you couldn't pay me enough to be the "cookie mother", who often became the cookie monster. Guaranteed, she was under major stress if the troop had more than 10 girls. Forgive her, she knew no what she dude. She was under attack from all sides and you were undoubtedly the last straw. Anybody would crack under those circumstances. Bet she never did it again? Only lovers of war and POW camps would reenlist.
PerkyMac at 10:51AM on 10/28/08
I STEAL flowers every year from all of my neighbors.
I adore lilacs.
I don't even care if I get caught.....
Hunnyoil at 3:11AM on 10/29/08