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I pretty much agree. I would never just assume a guest wanted dessert and plop it in front of them, or even assume everyone would want it period. I usually am feeding friends and in-laws, so they usually know that there will be dessert, and what it is, so they can refuse if they prefer, or ask for smaller pieces etc.

I also serve at the table, or have it on a table/buffet for them to serve themselves, so it is easy to handle. I rarely have anyone refuse (my gang looove sweets!) but I also always offer a fruit option in case there is a dieter who prefers not to speak up, or for diabetics etc.

When I am a guest I do appreciate the same courtesy extended to me, and often refuse dessert for the same reasons you do. I have eaten many a questionable dessert out of politeness though, for many reasons. Usually because if I don't I get knowing looks about dieting, and I hate that, as I don't believe in diets, just eating properly and healthily as often as possible. Also because of said 'plop' right at my place, or because it is a person I have no wish to offend and perhaps they are easily offended, so better to eat the dessert than risk making anyone upset.

I don't feel bad passing on dessert most of the time (when I can avoid making someone upset) and tend to prefer the justification for another glass of wine (or 2) :)

I feel obligated to EAT dessert (not take in at squish it around like Sadiepix pointed out) . Chances are the host went out of their way to have a dessert available so I'd feel rude to refuse. I'd also feel offended if I had a guest over and they didn't eat the dessert I made/purchased. The same goes with any part of the meal... if someone has me for dinner, I eat what they give me and I expect the same for my guests.

First of all... I would hope the person cooking / hosting would announce in advance what the dessert is going to be. That way, I know immediately whether I'd like to have it, and can plan accordingly to save room in my tummy.

If they don't tell me what it is until serving time, it could go either way.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so if it's something I know for sure I don't wish to eat, I would probably use the... "No thank you, I'm full"... excuse.

I usually eat whatever the host serves, just to appreciate their effort, but sometimes they would serve the dessert already portioned to their liking and I find myself feeling obligated to finish it just so they wouldn't feel bad.
I had an experience where the host made this HUGE fruit custard tart, and instead of asking each how big a piece they want, she cut the tart right away to number of people in the table so everyone got this super big piece..and to top it all off it wasn't even that good! I had to plop pieces to my brother's plate whenever she looks away (because he'd eat anything).. another disaster was a "tiramisu"..which is okay if it wasnt just whipped cream with strawberry pieces!I She gave each of us a huge bowl of it, but the icing of the cake (or the tiramisu) was when she said it was her first time making it and didn't know what it would taste like! Gee thanks..

I have turned down dessert while weekend guests at a former employer's home. It was bananas foster, and I have no love for bananas at all. But, I did eat the ice cream!

I'm not a big dessert eater in general, because I would much rather eat the "real" food. But, as a hostess, I always make a variety of desserts available. Now that I think of it, I don't think I've ever entertained in "sit-down" style...it's always been large groups, buffet style.

I am personally not offended when guests in my home turn down dessert. Everyone has different tastes. Usually when I am with someone else though, I know that person well enough to know whether or not they've put effort into making dessert for me. I have no problems turning down a bakery good or something pre-made. However, as a gracious guest, if someone has gone to the trouble to make dessert- no matter how simple, I eat it. I wouldn't say I feel obligated, but I feel it's the polite thing to do.

I guess this is also where the food snob in me goes away for a meal as well. It would never occur to me to turn down someone's gracious offering of boxed brownies and cool whip simply because I don't use them myself. If I had a real allergy or reaction to chemicals, that would be one thing. But turning down any component of a meal because "that's not something I use at home" would be bad form and rude. At home I avoid sugar substitutes at all costs, but when I am offered a slice of cake made with splenda, I happily have a small piece, appreciative of the effort that went into making the cake- regardless.

I'll generally pace myself so I can actually have and enjoy dessert. If I'm that full, I might try a mouthful of dessert but not go past that. I don't think any friend of mine wants me to roll out of the house feeling like it's T-Giving to the nth degree.

I frankly don't remember last time I was at a sit-down party where dessert was served - for the most part, both when I entertain or when I am invited, it's a buffet, so there is no pressure either way. If I just have a couple of friends over for dinner, I usually have very light dessert options, always including fruit and/or sorbet.

Now, if I am the one invited, here's the thing - there's only so much I can eat in one sitting, no matter how obligated I may or may not feel. I can make up for it by eating often though:-). I've mentioned this in the past - if I eat out, I order either two appetizers or a salad and an appetizer, and can barely move by the end of the dinner. If I want a dessert, I order one appetizer (which also happens at parties - if I see something I simple have to have for dessert, I eat less of other food). Or I take a dessert to go - speaking of which, I've been to several parties (usually hosted by my very dear friends), where I was offered (if not downright forced:-)) to take my dessert "to go", and I always obliged gratefully. This way, everybody was happy - the hostess didn't feel offended by the fact that I didn't sample her wonderful dessert, and I didn't feel bad about not choking on that piece of cake to make somebody feel better.

I don't serve guests at all. I have them get their own dishes and serve themselves from the kitchen. If they want to skip any part of the meal, they're free to do so. I don't care.

At someone else's house, if I'm served (rare), I eat until I'm sated. If that means that half my plate is still full, so be it. The food gets thrown out. If I serve myself, I don't put much on my plate (teaspoon or morsel per item) since I don't like to find raw onions hidden in my food. I'll return if I want more.

I always know in advance if there is dessert. If it's something I want, I'll indulge; otherwise, I just say I'm full. If dessert is pushed on me, which has happened, it remains untouched on the table. Someone else can clean up after me.

At a restaurant, I rarely order dessert unless we're someplace with interesting desserts. If there is only one interesting dessert, my husband and I split it. If there is more than one, we order two and share it with one another.

I don't care for Cool Whip on my dessert, but a tub by itself when I'm in the mood for it and it happens to be in the house, I'll eat...not all of it, but a few large spoonfuls. I love the airy texture. :)

I think of dessert as part of the meal, and would be more willing to ask for a very small portion than to say 'no thank you' to a host/ess if I didn't feel like eating any more. I would ask what it is, but this would be because I like to show interest in what was likely a carefully chosen/created treat and would probably not decline to eat any regardless of what it is (unless shitake mushrooms are involved and that's unlikely...gah at the thought.) I would not necessarily eat all of something plopped in front of me, but I definitely would try it. (eh, who am I kidding? I like dessert. I'd eat it all. unless shitake mushrooms are involved...or liver.)

As a frequent hostess I usually serve my friends buffet style, and would not be offended in the least if someone declined any part of my offerings. (That said, I work pretty hard to know the likes/dislikes and the eating habits of my guests before they come for a meal. I have one friend who is quite paranoid about what he eats so I make sure that dessert is light and fruity when he comes for dinner. I know he might not eat his fill of dinner, but will fill up on fruit afterwards.)

i don't ever feel obligated, but when i do go out to eat with my family it becomes very frustrating because they all seem to PUSH food onto others. usually i don't eat dessert unless it's something i REALLY love (e.g. something with bananas or peanut butter) but even if its something as stupid as a cookie i am glared at with a weird look and subsequently teased. sometimes i think they do that to rationalize that they are eating dessert (many are overweight) and maybe aren't even hungry but still want it