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For reasons lost in the dimness of time, we used to call kohlrabi "rob roy."

There's a running joke in our house right now about arugula. Whenever I present an unknown or unusual food, or a new recipe, DH will ask if it's arugula. I'm not sure why this is funny, but it always is. Maybe it's the way he asks.

Crepes is another one I've been hearing a lot lately (have they suddenly come back into fashion?). But I've heard it pronounced as Creeps, Kreps, and Crapes (the last one rhyming with grapes)

Okay, this is only vaguely food related, but I was talking to my MIL on the phone about some spicy food that I was making, and she said "It was more difficult for people before they had thumbs." And I said, "when did people not have thumbs?" and this went on for a while, with me saying, "Are you saying THUMBS?" "Yes." I was so confused. "Like four fingers and a thumb?"

Eventually, I figured out that she meant "Tums."

my childhood friend would say "sam-ridge" instead of sandwhiche.

When I was a kid, I called spaghetti, "pigsketti". My brother called grapes, "beeps." Pigsketti was phased out, but around my mom's house, they're still beeps.

My food mispronunciations are mostly intentionally silly:

marshmallows - mushmoos

on my grocery list I never write milk, it's always 'milt', and pork chops are 'poke'. I don't generally speak these words, but I wrote it once and it became an in-joke between my husband and me.

and the ever-obvious, over done - p'sketti for spaghetti (interesting how we all spell a similar mispronunciation differently, eh?)

I'm still experimenting with the correct way to say 'le creuset' (it's 'lay CREW-say' yes? Please correct me if not.)

"stubbybubby" for strawberry.

blalalalalala for banana.

"breakliss" for breakfast.

provided by children of various friends.

@Renzata: Furry? :O

I'm glad you're female, because if you weren't, that sounds sooo wrong. :D

My daughter used to say, "You're not going to put any of those Guatemalas in the salad, are you?" She meant Avocados.

A friend once told me, "Jerry and I went out to dinner last night to a Mexican place. We are some of those japalino peppers." Jalapenos.

I called grilled cheese "girl cheese" when I was a small child. I also couldn't pronounce "chipotle" until I was corrected by my dear friend, who is a chef.

My daughter would come downstairs in the morning asking for "breaktist" -- I still ask her now if she's ready for breaktist. I love it!

Pasketti, of course. Noodle-oop, for chicken noodle soup.
Dip-dip for ketchup. You can see how that one came about!
My husband will ask me to make the toe-AST for breaktist.

Remember the all-fruit spread commercial with the cowboy saying, "Wouldja please pass the JELLY?" in a really exaggerated, high-pitched Western accent? We ALWAYS say that!

@hammondcheese -- ranch in our house is "mommy's dressing"

2 year old daughter: "What are you drinking, Mommy?"
"Seltzer...it's bubbly water."
"Let me try, Mommy." *sip, funny face* "I don't like that broccoli water, Mommy."

For those of us who have been out of civilization for some time, how do you know how to pronounce some of these words that we've only seen in print?

Remembered a few more:

A girl from my neighborhood in Brooklyn used to call gnocchi "knuckles." Drove my brother crazy... LOL.

Daughter used to call the refrigerator the "frivijator."

Small child of a friend used to call shish-kebab "sh*tsabob." (Friend didn't think this was funny.)

Small child of another friend used to call dessert "zwert."

Daughter used to call sfogliatelli "filadel."

Friend from an old job in NYC (read: full grown adult) used to call squid's tentacles "testicles."

Another friend (full grown adult) used to call a head of garlic, a "clunk" of garlic. (No idea how that started.)

Somewhat off-topic, but I get annoyed at the frequent restaurant server mispronunciations of such things as the three syllable word vinaigrette, which almost always comes out as the four syllable "vinegarette," penne paste, which is usually rendered "puh-NAY," and the ubiquitous "broo-shedda" for bruschetta (it's "broo-SKET-ta" please). BTW, @AliceBlue, "le" in French is always pronounced like the "le" in "teller," and "Creuset" is tough to render in English, but the first syllable comes close to having the same vowel sound as "foot" and the second syllable starts with a "z" sound. Sort of "luh croo ZEY." Hope that doesn't make it any worse.

We lovingly call Remoulade Sauce "Ray Milland" sauce and cole slaw "cold sore."

When Zack was 2-3, anything red, round, and remotley edible was an "appo".

By his standards, green apples didn't qualify.

I absolutely *hate* it when people misspell chipotle (it's usually written chipolte). And mispronounce it in the same way.
My dad always called the fridge the "icebox." He was from the South; I think that's why.
I called ice cream "hi-mee" when I was little. To my sister, broccoli was "baby trees."

As a side note, I have a pronunciation question: Tempeh is tem-pay, right?

M&Ms are Mi-Mis
My nephew likes to let folks know when he wants something to eat: "I hungie. Super, super hungie."

but my faves are from my brother. He is allegic to legumes, but had a hard time remembering the word "peas" as a child. Had no problem remembering "little green balls," though.

And he was introduced to chorizo only a few years ago in his 20's. A spanish speaking friend told him to get up for some chorizo. Bro still refers to it as "tortured weasel," cuz I guess that's what he heard in his half asleep state.

My cousin always says "haingerber" instead of hamburger. It was cute when she was little. Now she is 32 with 4 kids. She still pronounces it that way. It is much less cute.

When I was little I called water "meat". I don't know where that came from. I think my parents messed with me too much and confused my poor young mind.

Some friends of mine call 'asparagus' 'parrot guts'. This is intentional, not a misspronunciation. I occasionally do it too, now.

I remember my son @ four months waking up in the middle of the night and screaming, "IN-GEE, INN-GEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" He wanted to express that he was hungry. Tears, snot and drool everywhere. He was teething already, but didn't break a tooth through for another six months.

The first two years was hell, after that it got better.

By the time he was three he had outgrown that slight speech impediment in which he exchanged Ls for Ws. When he was four his pre-school had a speech therapist come and evaluate all the kids. When I picked him up that day she told me that the only thing she could do with him was use him as a good example for the other kids.

Ah, being the English major mother who took the time to teach him how to pronounce new words correctly paid off!

A person that I was related to for a short period of time used to say bre-fuss istead of breakfast. That wasn't bad enough, though. If there was a reason to use the plural, it became brefussusses.

It drove me absolutely mad.