Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

I think you're absolutely right. When you're dining out with others, in a perfect world, the plates should be brought to the table as closely together as possible. In the event a plate is delivered way earlier than others, it's customary to wait for the other diners to say, "Don't wait or it will get cold!" before digging in early. In the case of pre-entree salads, this shouldn't even be brought up because salad isn't going to get any colder, the early-served diner should wait.

I agree 100 percent--unless the one person is served very late, and says, 'please start without me, it should be here in a moment' always wait until you're served.

Also, you should really take a moment to look at the food/presentation for at least a second instead of digging in immediately like a teenage boy with his head in the refrigerator!

While I do consider the "wolfing" of a meal to be repulsive, I think of it as more of a loss for the hurried eater. They never really experience their food as it was intended. They never taste its full flavor, feel its texture, or savor its aroma.

Another agreement here. Bugs me to death.
I have to admit though, I thought my parents had taught me table manners fairly well. How to use utensils, napkin, elbows off the table, etc, etc. but they never taught me that one and I did not learn it until high school. Maybe because we almost never went out to eat (though we did do family dinners at the table til I was 10-11). Not even my proper gramma taught me that, and would eat as soon as her food arrived. (Though not like a pig at the trough, there was just no waiting for all to be served first.)

I know it now though, and wish table (and other basic manners) were taught at school.

the thing i never understood is why it's rude to have your elbows on the table. it's more comfortable! i don't mean slouch your arms all over or anything, i just mean touching the elbows on the edge of the table with your hands clasped.

the funny thing was when i was in spain my host family would ask me to put my elbows ON the table, because it was rude to not be able to see my hands.

way to confuse me even more!

i do agree though -- it is incredibly rude to start eating before everyone has gotten their meal unless you have been explicitly instructed otherwise.

Thus the problem with nobody eating dinners at a family table anymore. That's where most of us who weren't raised in a barn learned our manners - through our parents drilling us with them when we were kids back when everyone actually sat down and had dinner together. We need to get back to basics or entire generations of people are going to be heathens, gross out their bosses and dates and never be anything but slobs.

And, Jerzee Tomato, I'm with you on the little snot gobblers running amok in restaurants with their grubby fingers smearing mustard and ketchup and leaving a 3-inch pile of crumbs and half-chewed food on the floors under their tables. I'm all for leaving kids at home until they can behave in restaurants. Please teach them at home!

I'm with you. I think that etiquette may state that once more than half of the diners have been served, it is usually ok for those served to begin. But I always feel uncomfortable and will wait until the unserved say "please go ahead" and when I am in their position I do the same. If they don't say anything I am fine waiting.

I was born and raised in Europe (UK), and I can assure you, elbows on the table were not acceptable (I can imagine my Gran's face if I were to do that:-)), and eating before everybody else got their food was considered impolite - unless prompted to by other diners, like chiff said.

We did, indeed, eat with both fork and knife throughout the meal. In fact, I still do - and I've never realised that it may be something "regional"... I'm quite certain that's how my Other Half (who is an American) eats too though.

@brooke29 -- i didn't say europe, i would never insinuate all of europe has the same culture nor the same table manners!! i just said my host family in spain was that way, which confused me.

the problem with the fork switching is that i'm left handed -- it feels completely backwards to me to switch and then use my right hand for the precision of the fork.

Then when the host/hostess FINALLY decides to sit down (usually 5 minutes later), they expect everyone to stop all eating and conversation to 'pass' them dishes. What is up with that?

First, let me make sure I'm reading this correctly. You resent it when the person who has prepared all the food finally takes a seat after all that work and other diners need to stop eating long enough to get him or her some food in his or her dish?

I can't imagine anyone resenting this so I know I'm reading that wrong.

In the event I'm correct, it's called courtesy (and I won't even get into appreciation). Next question.

@chiff: I'm with you...I was hoping I was reading that post wrong.

Ahhh, table manners. A favorite topic of mine, I have to admit. It never ceases to amaze me how BARBARIC people can be at the table. I can not stand it. At all. I have broken up with boys (I call them boys because no man would act like that at the table) over their lack of table manners. I believe I have spoken of the one guy who acted out "I'm a Little Tea Pot" all throught out dinner...The left arm was the handle (left hand made a fist at the hip while the elbow stuck out-yes ALL THRU DINNER). Meanwhile, the right hand took to STABBING the food. I had never seen anything like it. I asked him what he was doing...His response was, "what?" I had no words.

Lets just have some common courtesy/respect for others at the table.
~Wait for everyone to have their food.
~Even if your child(ren) are adorable, they are still making a scene: yelling, screaming, and crawling under tables is not cute. Please make them quiet.
~The food is already dead. Please don't stab at it and make me cringe when the fork hits the plate for the 100th time.
~If you don't like something, spit it discretely into your napkin-not like a child and onto your plate in plain view of me and everyone.
~There is a bathroom in the restaurant-please use it to change diapers, etc.

Ok, I am going to stop. I blame my parents for the way I am-it was how I was raised.

@PeanutButter! Too funny.

chiff0nade: Just reread my post and I really should have elaborated. I have two seperate family members who, when they host a holiday meal, always call people to the table before everything is ready (even though several of us always pitch in to help). They almost go into hysterics if everyone does not sit exactly when they say - even those who are helping prepare the meal. If we try to wait until they sit down, tears ensue with sniffled "No, eat." So we eat in an effort to quell the sniffles. When they decide to sit down, they say they want every word said to be repeated. After a decade of this behavior and the tears, the rest of us grab up the holidays to host before they do so we spare them the emotional stress.

I also have been in situations where the host will say, "Go ahead and start" and but we still wait until they sit down before starting. It is usually follow with a huffy, snarky, "I told you to start without me, you can put your food in the microwave because it is now probably cold."

If someone's plate arrives late and the person says, "please start before your food gets cold," is it then appropriate to start, or should you still wait? Friends of mine always insist on waiting no matter how long, which sometimes seems a bit much to me.