Is the grocery store a 'manners free' zone...
..or does being at the grocery store deduct points from certain individual's IQ? I have to confess that, much as I enjoyed the 'grocery violations' thread, my pet peeves at the grocery store are as follows:
1. Dear, sweet old ladies, have a grape or cherry from the bag (or a bag or two) to test for sweetness. Please, please, don't stand there, eating several bunches from EACH bag. I know you've been on this earth for a long time, perhaps are on a fixed income, and I feel like a bad person getting annoyed, but at least let me pass to get my bag.
2. Mothers and fathers and others with extra-large shopping carts: if you are in an empty aisle, why must you park right next to one another, rather than going ahead or behind the other person and pulling to the side, so no one can get through? This perplexes me to no end!
3. Woman at Wegman's brownie tasting: the clerk is cutting little slivers of the pastry to taste by request, rather than leaving them out so we are forming a line. Do not hold up the line getting in an argument with the man about how you are a great baker and can make it better at home at a cheaper cost--you are probably right, but haven't you noticed that the line is moving slow enough in the first place? And people in general who complain to the checkout clerks about prices--they didn't set them and are just as much if not more affected by them than you are!
4. Clerks at Foodtown: don't ask me about why I am buying a certain product, squeeze and smell my pumpkin bread, tell me about your dietary problems and cholesterol. It is 5am and I only stop at your store when I am out of a product for breakfast and am very tired and am in a rush!
5. Woman with a full order in the 7 items or less line: no matter how much you smile and simper about your 'mistake,' I will continue to glare at my magazine. Especially after you request a price check and try to use an expired coupon.
6.Keep loud cell phone conversations with spouses re: your order to a minimum, please!
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35 Comments:
Can I get an "amen?"
Re: The Sample Gluttons. This happens all over, at regular supermarkets and at Big Box stores like Costco and Sam's as well. OMG. You have never seen so many people trying to make lunch out of samples in your life.
Re: Checkout Clerks. Funny story that happened about 20 years ago in Food Emporium on University Place where I used to live. I was in the express lane. Clerk takes a perfunctory glance at my items. Clerk yells at the top of her lungs: "EXPRESS LANE. TWELVE ITEMS OR LESS. NO CHECKS. NO DELIVERIES!!!!" I replied to this in an equally loud voice: "I ONLY HAVE ELEVEN ITEMS AND YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS HAD YOU COUNTED THEM BEFORE YOU STARTED SCREAMING."
therealchiffonade at 7:54AM on 07/17/08
lets not forget the people that bring small children into the store and wander aimlessly while said child or worse children scream as though being tortured. the other day a woman was wandering the aisles in the produce section, I ended the trip with a migraine from her childs screams heard in the opposite side of the store. I know i'm verysensetive to noise, but other shoppers around me were complaining as well. Next time i shop there I'm taking either a muzzle or a ball gag and mini restraints!
huneybumper at 8:03AM on 07/17/08
I am so sick of the rude people in the grocery stores, ESPECIALLY the samples all the way down the main food isle at my Sam's Club, I make it a point to use the far side isle to avoid all the people having every sample offered like it's lunch time. Aslo the bad attitude of the girl I asked to cut up my whole beef tenderloin. I'm spending over 30.00 on just that item and cutting it up is part of the stores services, hey if she doesn't like her job she should go do something else!!!!
joanpieroni2 at 8:05AM on 07/17/08
my biggest pet peeve is people who don't return their shopping carts. it. drives. me. up. the. WALL.
french tart at 8:41AM on 07/17/08
My biggest gripe: People who get to the checkout, have everything rung up and then realize that they actually have to pay for the items. Then they take five minutes to open their bags, remove their wallets, get their store card, credit card or check. This, unfortunately, does not just happen in food stores but probably everywhere they go.
I must have been a man in a former life 'cause I always have my payment method ready. But then, I'm always in a hurry, too. Gotta work on that.
bessfour at 9:39AM on 07/17/08
ok, people, here's one from the other side. i worked my way through school at a fantastic japanese produce market in berkeley. i had quit my job in medical sales and wanted something less mentally taxing so i would have brain room left to study while i finished my degree, and the owner hired me to take some of her shifts in the bulk food section. i'd been shopping there for years, and she knew i was a very good cook. lots of people had questions about how to use the things you could find back there, and she wanted someone who could field all sorts of questions and deal nicely with all of the temperamental chefs and various bay area celebrities who shopped there on a daily basis.
one day i was busily bagging and labeling spices when someone came in looking for jars of lumpfish caviar. i explained that we didn't carry it but that she could buy fresh salmon roe at the fish counter in the front of the store. she had never heard of it before, so i told her that it was a popular item at sushi bars, and suggested several different ways she could serve it. the woman standing behind her said, "for someone who probably makes minimum wage, you seem to know a lot about expensive food."
that was over 20 years ago and the rudeness of that remark still astonishes me.
cybercita at 9:41AM on 07/17/08
bessfour...made me smile! I've stood in line behind that moron I can't count the number of times.
Parents - answer your kids when they continuously say "mommy".
The courteous thing to do when reading labels is to at least pull your cart over to the side instead of parking it in the middle of the aisle.
When entering the store, please actually ENTER!!!!!!!! Do not stop in the middle of the door in order to adjust your purse, find your list, take off your coat, play with your kid....
Oh thank you...I feel much better now!
thewrighttaste at 9:46AM on 07/17/08
When I'm not in any hurry, I find the children somewhat adorable, or maybe needing a little discipline and a hug, the side-by-side soccer moms discussions amicable when they finally see me and scootch a little to let me through while never pausing in their gossip, the poor little old lady scoffing down fruit pitiable, the bozos at the check-out interesting and even manage a chuckle at their ineptitude. The carts rolling toward my car do get a panicked rise in my blood pressure, but otherwise I can usually just smile and enjoy the theatre.
When I'm in a real hurry, every one of those same incidents makes me appreciate the fact that I don't own a gun, because I think I might use it.
PerkyMac at 10:05AM on 07/17/08
Store owners/managers: please don't train/require your cashiers to ask "did you find everything you were looking for".
They don't care.
It's too late to do anything about it without inconveniencing everyone in line.
If I couldn't find it, I seriously doubt the bagger or checker can.
If you want to offer this "nicety", have someone prowling the area before people get in line, when they could either a.) lead customers to the product they need, or b.) run and fetch it while the customer stands in line, or c.) take a note/request in writing for products they are not carrying.
Cary at 10:17AM on 07/17/08
I'm the first one to get shirty at the grocery store for an infinite number of reasons, but since you mentioned Wegmans I have to touch on your point #5, the express lanes.
Have you ever been pulled out of a normal check-out line by one of the managerial types, to be put into an empty express lane?
That happens to me often, and I always feel my heart rate increase for fear of some asshole coming in behind me and grousing about how many items I have, and I find myself having to state to people who come in behind me that the manager held me at gunpoint to move to the express lane or die!
I shouldn't have to defend myself, but I feel the need to defend my presence in that verboten lane.
People need to take into account that some stores DO want you to get the eff out quickly and will try to make it happen by doing what I just mentioned.
Having said that, I will get annoyed otherwise if people are too douchey to wait like they're supposed to in a normal line and get into an express line knowing they have too much.
Southern_bella at 10:27AM on 07/17/08
@cybercita - I could think of about a dozen comebacks...All of which would have caused you to lose your job. Makes me wish I was the customer you were helping.
Re: Kids/Babies. I got such a compliment one day at the supermarket. I had my daughter with me, then about 10 months old. The guy behind me at the checkout said, "At first I was ambivalent about getting behind someone with a baby but you got her from the cart to the stroller in the blink of an eye!" I know how frustrating it is to be behind someone with a baby who hasn't a clue of how to multi task.
Parents - answer your kids when they continuously say "mommy".
@thewrighttaste - This also drives me crazy. Maybe that mother has learned to "tune out" her kids. I unfortunately have not had this training and can hear every single "mommy" so expertly timed with the volume increasing commensurately after each utterance, I sometimes answer the kid myself.
therealchiffonade at 12:02PM on 07/17/08
Cashiers: If you want to see my card, ask me while I have it out and am swiping it through the machine. DO NOT wait until I have already put it back in my wallet and put my wallet back in my purse and have closed the purse adn started to bag my groceries. Also, if there is a policy on when or when not to ask to see a person's card FOLLOW IT. DO NOT willy nilly make people show their card for $10 orders, and then fail to ask for $100 orders. Really. Does that ever make sense?
Traveller at 12:03PM on 07/17/08
@cyber, a good comeback for comments like this is, "Oh, no, I'm independently wealthy, I'm just doing this for fun." Or, in today's world, "Oh no, I'm really rich, I'm just doing this for a reality show," or, even more fun, "I used to live really high on the hog when I was working for the drug cartel, but now that I'm in witness protection, this is my cover until they get me something better."
My pet peeve is people who block the aisles. Mostly these are people shopping together, and I have no problem with them shopping and chatting, but if someone wants to get past them, the polite thing to do is get out of the way.
Worse are moms with multiple loose children who are darting around mom's cart playing some version of chase, and the kids are darting in and out and around, and I'm afraid to try to pass because I know that if I do, that's the second a kid is going to dart out and I'm gonna flatten him.
The aisle blocking is made worse when the stores have the freestanding displays in the middle of the aisles. And for some reason, people like to park their carts next to one of these displays, like they're tying their horse to a post. What, you're afraid you won't find the cart again if it's not next to a big display? Or do you think the cart will start grazing and wander off on its own?
Not a peeve, but an astonishment. I was entering the store and waiting for the store guy to finish putting carts away so I could grab one. Not in a hurry, no big deal. No other shoppers nearby waiting to grab carts. There were 3 rows of carts, and the far right one held the odd carts, like the motorized ones and the kiddie carts. The last cart in that row was a kiddie cart with a smaller shopping basket and a big red plastic car on the front for a kid to ride in. The store guy was wrangling carts in the center row, which was now extending past the end of the kiddie cart row, and I noticed some odd movement near the floor. There was a kid in the big red car and he was trying to get out while the guy was wrestling with the carts right next to him. First worry is that the kid is going to get an appendage torn off if he gets in the way of the moving carts and the second is that the kid doesn't have a parent nearby. For this whole time I was watching the guy arrange carts, there was no other adult near us, and when I got there, he was already in the process of getting the carts put away.
I stopped the guy from moving the carts. Now the kid was really trying to get out of the red plastic car, and he had his head amongst the bottoms of the carts next to him and his hands, arms and fingers were intertwined in multiple adjacent carts as he tried to crawl out. I pointed to the kid and said, "I think someone must have left a kid behind." The cart was empty of groceries, by the way.
He started to look around in a panic. Towards the lot, there were just a few people walking away with carts. There were a few other people around, shopping, but no one close by, and no one looking at us.
After a few panicked moments when the guy was obviously trying to figure out what he was supposed to do next, a woman standing at the courtesy counter yelled out, "He's with me." She yelled it again, and the guy heard her. "I was just cashing a check." She hadn't moved away from the counter yet, and didn't seem inclined to.
So, what? She put the kid in the plastic car, left him with the empty carts, and went to the courtesy desk without the cart to cash the check? And this wasn't two steps away, it was a fair distance. Yes, there was nothing blocking the view (unless there were shoppers there) but that kid could have gotten seriously hurt if I hadn't seen him trying to get out of the cart when the guy was putting the carts away.
Not to mention that someone else could have taken the cart, and the kid.
Or the kid could have simply gotten out of the cart and wandered out of the store. If she hadn't noticed the guy putting carts away, she wouldn't have noticed the kid dashing out into the parking lot, either.
As I walked away, the woman turned back to her check-cashing at the courtesy counter, turning her back on the kid again. Sigh.
dbcurrie at 1:05PM on 07/17/08
Oh, my goodness. I can't believe I'm the only one writing about the horror that is the Park Slope Food Coop on the weekend, where a manners-free zone collides gruesomely with homegrown fascism. Don't get me wrong, I love shopping at the coop, and I like so many of the people I've encountered there, but I don't know which is worse - the pushy people who seem to have checked their manners at the door, or the humorless rule-spouting zealots who criticize everyone's smallest infractions, real or perceived.
LadyMarmalade at 1:46PM on 07/17/08
@ Lady, I think there's a big difference between griping online about impoliteness at a public place and becoming rude about it yourself. It irks me when people will block an aisle and they see that people are lining up in both directions, but just can't break off the conversation long enough to get out of the way. However, my in-store response to this is always a quiet, polite "excuse me." If a cart is left parked blocking an aisle, I'll simply move it out of the way -- I won't steal the purse that is inevitably left in there.
I understand that some people get so wrapped up in label-reading or chatting that they don't realize they're holding up traffic, and usually they will move as soon as they notice they're in the way. But the ones who see that they're blocking traffic and acknowlegde they're in the way, but can't be bothered to move until they're done with whatever they're doing -- those are the ones that truly irk me, because it's just impolite to act as though whatever you are doing is more important than what the six people who are waiting for you are doing.
dbcurrie at 2:55PM on 07/17/08
I want to know what the hell gives people the right to pull up to the front curb loading zone, park their car with the flashers on and run in for "just one thing". It's bad enough when hubby parks there while the Mrs. runs into the store but I think people who park their cars there to shop should be strung up and tortured.
All this boils down to "me, me, me". No consideration, no manners, no upbringing, no class.
RichardCrystal at 3:09PM on 07/17/08
When I lived in Austria I had to go grocery shopping on Saturday mornings, and it seemed that the stockboys were always blocking access to the product I wanted. I so wanted to ask them whether the food was there for customers to purchase, or just to look pretty. But they wouldn't have understood the sarcasm.
chari at 3:11PM on 07/17/08
@ RichardCrystal, I am 100% with you. There is always at least one minivan or big ghetto car parked in the fire lane or, better yet, right beside the NO PARKING sign. I so want to go tap on the window and say "Are you illiterate or something? Or do you just think that rules don't f***ing apply to you?" Then I'd get the confused look because they don't know what illiterate means.
If I happen to be in the way, though I take care not to be, and I see it I apologize to the person and move. No matter what is going on. I'd want them to do the same for me.
I don't know about other places, but people here are so freaking ignorant.
DCraver at 3:45PM on 07/17/08
@french tart - I'm with you. I also HATE IT when people are too lazy to put things back they've decided they don't want - if it's really too much of a hassle, give it to the person at the checkout line so they can have someone put it back, don't make them wander around looking for cookies in the toothpaste aisle!
embolini9 at 3:59PM on 07/17/08
Unwrapping a chocolate bar and letting your whiny kid eat it before you paid for it may not be the brightest thing to do. Yes, even if you do pay for it when you finally get to the cash register and give the empty wrapper to the cashier to scan. It never ceases to amaze me.
And since we've mentioned "illiterate", I have a personal pet peeve - why, in the name of all good and holy, do they always write "10 items or less" when it should be "10 items or fewer"??!!!
brooke29 at 4:06PM on 07/17/08
yes! people never say excuse me they just bump your cart they yap like hell on cell phones about way to personal stuff.......... they drop things an do not pick them up............... an they never say please!!!!
rabbitriddle at 4:07PM on 07/17/08
Wow, maybe it is just because I adore grocery shopping that many of the above mentioned annoyances don't bother me. The grocery store is one place I don't notice 'average' rudeness, though there have been occasional idjits, but not nearly the epidemic of them you all see.
If people are blocking aisles and aren't noticing the backup, a loud "Excuse me" or "BEEP BEEP" usually works wonders! I do the same to the errant kids! I don't care if someone is nibbling the produce, or chatting on a phone, so long as when I need to get by or ask them to move they do so.
Even kids (which I really can't handle in any situation) don't bother me AS much since if they are being brats in the grocery, (where I expect to see kids, though I wish they were quieter) maybe, just maybe, the parents won't then have them at the nice restaurant I want to go to later. ;)
And since I am not a child fan, I guess I don't notice the ignored or misplaced kids, or worry that they might be missing etc. and that surely saves me stress too.
I get more annoyed with the meat counter staff and the bad bagging we had the thread about than anything else. Maybe I am just louder and pushier myself, and that saves me feeling trapped or blocked or treated badly.
sadiepix at 4:52PM on 07/17/08
@brooke29 - my BF has a HORRIBLE habit of picking up a drink or a thing of sushi (ick ick ick) and drinking it/eating it AS WE'RE WALKING AROUND THE STORE. He then gives the empty containers to the confused and disgusted check-out person. I hate it. I harp at him about it ALLLL the time but he won't change! It's really embarrassing.
embolini9 at 5:31PM on 07/17/08
Ah, now you know.. Von's.com!!
stacemace at 5:36PM on 07/17/08
I occasionally have to use the electric carts when my knees/hips are hurting really bad - and while I can tolerate the garden-variety rudeness, I really get annoyed at people who step right in front of the cart and then look at me with irritated expressions when I scramble to not hit them. It's particularly frustrating when I'm in a crowded section and can't just swerve out of the way. Look, I know this thing is slow and bulky and it's in your way. I'm trying to be as considerate as possible here. Please be considerate of me.
Likewise, people who glare at me while using the cart, assuming that just because I'm young and not obviously handicapped, I'm joyriding. Believe me, the amusement of riding one of those things fades off after about 10 seconds when you're actually trying to get shopping done. Particularly when you need something out of reach and you've got to wrestle with the cart and a cane just to get out of your seat.
jenilowrance at 5:56PM on 07/17/08
Complaints from the Otherside:
I actually work in a grocery store bakery to money myself through my second degree. Things that annoy me/I have noticed in the past years:
#1) Yes, walking in the door to the grocery does indeed make 90% of people dumber. You can actually see this transformation from behind a counter located near the door. People walking with purpose and aim suddenly careen off in multiple directions and goggle aimlessly into space.
#2) Old people and soccer moms are the worst customers. Be prepared for unsolicited hostility and inescapable problems. You will not be able to help these people and/or please them. Period.
#3) You ofc, working in the grocery know everything there is to know. And whereas I do know 99.9% of things people can ask me nowadays, there are times I do have to call someone from the appropriate department to have your question answered or product found. This however does not appease most people. Be prepared for hostile glares and watch checking in the few minutes it takes the other person to get to the phone and/or find the product. How DARE you not have that thing hidden in your apron. Didn't you know that they would be coming for that?
#4) Yes. You caught me. I am solely responsible for the pricing of items and the occasional outage. I'm truly an evil person. I sensed you coming and raised the prices and/or got rid of it. >:E
#5) No, surprisingly I don't know what your kid likes and would want on their birthday cake. Nor do I know what colour great-aunt Sue would want her cake to be in...It always strikes me odd you would even order a birthday cake for these people if you don't seem to know them at all...In a way just forgetting the event seems less cruel.
#6) The reason you are probably having to wait for service is because the store has cut labor...again. Fewer people to fill more positions. Saves the company money. They don't care about your customer service in reality...only the bottom dollar in the end.
I really could go on for hours on this stuff...but I'll just study more. Someday I'll escape the sea of rudeness that is my job.
feriorrenna at 6:59PM on 07/17/08
This is VERY Interesting. None of these things even begins to faze me. I have grocery store zen. Does anyone here experience road rage?
izatryt at 6:59PM on 07/17/08
I have to agree with izatryt, for the most part. Maybe people in our part of PA are friendlier, more respectful? Rudeness is truly rare. Actually, the opposite is true - people go way out of their way to be helpful. Now that I'm having physical problems, I can't tell you how many people have rushed to open doors, pack my car, offer help in any way they can think of. They have been all ages (even little kids), races, genders. If I had lost my faith in the human race, they would have restored it. When you've faced a major life crisis or three, you learn to not sweat the small stuff and most of it is small stuff. Just recently I met a woman cashier who asked about my knees and offered herself and her 4 teenage daughters to take care of me post surgery if I wanted to have new knees. I had never seen her before. There are angels walking among us.
PerkyMac at 8:01PM on 07/17/08
Kids on those !@#$ wheeled shoes. Oy.
Or the people that realize they forget something while checking out and have to go back tearing through the store for that gallon of milk. Oh wait, that's usually me.
QueenHerm at 8:22PM on 07/17/08
I wish people would buy their lottery tickets somewhere else.
srhcb at 8:39PM on 07/17/08
Amen to everyone who gets as frustrated as I do when i'm at the store! Don't get me wrong, not only do i love my local small town grocery store, and i'd say about half of my shopping trips there are sublime. . . but there have been some disasters, and some of the disasters have been my fault.
frustrating things that aren't my fault: the aisles are NARROW. if you are going to park your cart, please don't do so in the middle of the darn aisle! would it kill you to move your cart 8 inches over, so i can move past you???
frustrating things that are my fault: I am one of those awful women who walks in to the store, and comes to a complete dumbfounded halt. the store opens up into the produce department. and i just can't decide if i should hit the lucious oranges first, the organic table, check out the tomatoes. . .it's the same problem at the meat/fish counter. i just get overwhelmed, and i want to look at everything at once, and i can't decide where to go first. yes, lame. yes, i need to grow up. but did you see those catfish fillets? and those prawns? and those artichokes?
redhead at 9:06PM on 07/17/08
^jenilowrance--I am on the same page as you. I don't use the carts, but I'm chronically ill for the past 10 years. I am 30 and have progressive, degenerative disease and I'm probably more ill than most old people and won't live to see their age, but nearly everytime I park handicapped at the grocery I'm stared down and glared upon.
I have the tag for a reason people, and while I may look perfectly normal most days, I'm not, and I'm fairly notorious for passing out in grocery stores so the less walking I have to do, the better.
I also can't stand the cell phones and the running children. I don't know how many times I've watched an unattended child doing something they weren't supposed to and gotten hurt, only to scream bloody murder in front of the entire store to a parent who's not listening anyway.
At the farmer's market if I'm standing there with produce in my hand I'm actually in line, sometimes I think because I'm so thin I must be invisible people tend to cut in front of me so much. It's a Saturday morning people, take a deep breath and relax, you don't need to rush all the time. And if you see a friend and want to chat, why not walk up on the empty sidewalk instead of standing directly in everyone's way?
And lastly I wish they'd stop filling the self-check out lanes with plastic bag holders. I am doing the right thing by bringing my own bags, please give me a place to put them so I can fill them!
bobcatsteph3 at 9:57PM on 07/17/08
These things certainly phase me if I am having a rough day, but the real issue I have is they way that many people blame you for their carts being in your way etc, etc. I wish people, generally speaking, would take responsibility for themselves. You do not even need to say IM SORRY, but a "Oh pardon me," or "I did not realize my cart was there," would suffice.
Now this personally gets to me: I am a 6ft tall thin woman. I played basketball in college and Paris, I do tri's, and am currently an experimental vegan. I know, thank you everyone I am thin and I eat food. You do not need to stare, whisper and shout out things like "Anorexic" as i am walking by with a full cart of food. Do some research, read a book and stop being ignorant. I am sure this does not happen to everyone but it annoys the hell out of me and I wish right there I could take each and every one of them out to the court and sweep the floor with them. Cheers, and maybe next time someone thinks to stare at someone as if they are a painting on a wall they will think twice.
JacquelineS at 11:12PM on 07/17/08
I too, have a physical handicap that requires me to use the handicapped space occassionally. I get royally steamed when I see a little old man drop his wife at the door of the store, then pull into a handicapped spot and read the paper. Is he a handicapped reader?? Inevitably, when I leave the store, he's still sitting there.
On a more pleasant note, it was 92 in the 'Burg yesterday. I was in Walmart sans shopping cart, then found myself picking up more items than I could carry. I kept dropping things and other customers helped me out and picked them up. Then an employee saw my predicament and brought me a cart. Finally in the check-out, a little old lady with 100 items in her cart ran over my foot. Instead of glaring at me like it was my fault, she was mortified and so solicitous that she asked if I needed first aid. Just goes to show that out of the blue, sometimes people can surprise the heck out of you.
Josdean at 10:30AM on 07/18/08
@brook29: Ok, I have to confess myself guilty of the eat-while-shopping thing, but I do draw lines. Would I eat something like prepared foods and sushi that have a disgust-o-factor? Probably not, or at least if I did, I would go to SELF-checkout and handle the empty containers myself.
Still, you're buying it--as long as you do it respectfully, it shouldn't be a problem. I admit I have NO self-control around fresh bread, and will rip the tops off baguettes while waiting in line.
Pammeh at 3:12PM on 07/18/08