Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

So limit yourself to asking once. If you don't get a lot of lettuce, it's not the end of the world, and obviously you prefer domestic peace to a little more lettuce, or you wouldn't be asking us, right?

Subway is horrid! Stay away! You can make better sandwiches than Subway on your own with all the lettuce you like!

I've dined out and 'embarrassed people' because I order a vegetarian plate. As long as you're polite, though, you're the customer, and you have nothing to be ashamed of!

Try quantifying how much lettuce you would like. For example, to me a 'ton' of leaf lettuce would be over an inch of stacked leaves, for you a 'ton' may be three to four inches. Same with shredded lettuce like they use at Subway. Try saying you would like 'five or six handfuls' instead of something more vague like 'a lot.'

Personnally, I don't think Subway is 'horrid.' I like Subway.

New husband. stat.

Seriously, he's in the wrong here.

Dear lettuceat: Hi! Just tell your husband that you have the right to ask for what you want and ...that right increases because you are paying for that. Whenever I go to restaurants, I ask for extra sauces, extra black olives, more napkins, more of everything ...because many times the food service employees just don't know how to make us HAPPY and I have to remind them. I'm getting all ANGRY to know that the Subway guy is mad at you for requesting more lettuce ...HOW DARE HE??? Next time ...please just don't look at his face and if he continues with the bad attitude ...just call the manager and ask for what you want ...with GREAT DIGNITY ...GIRL! And CONCERNING your husband ...just tell him ...that if he's NOT going to be of any HELP ...to just SHUT UP! After all, you are the DIVA ...you are the QUEEN!!

First, don't beat yourself up for asking for more lettuce. It bulks up your sandwich and fills you up.

Second, Subway is, in no way, to be considered "a restaurant." Never. Ever.

Third, as long as you are polite and make your request clear, there is no reason a waitperson would wail on you for asking for more lettuce. With money tighter than ever, your restaurant experience should reward you (think of it as a short "vacation" from cooking) and will help to keep that restaurant in business during difficult times ("You want extra lettuce? SURE!")

Fourth - and take this from the source (married more times than I care to admit...) your husband needs to get off the lettuce criticism. I'll admit I'm short on patience for this kind of thing. If this is the only niggling habit you have that he complains about, he should thank his lucky stars. ("You heard my wife...get her some LETTUCE!!!")

Actually, lettuce is not the cheapest ingredient for a restaurant! Lettuce is labor-intensive to prepare, there is a high percentage of waste associated with it compared to other produce (very perishable), the price fluctuates tremendously, it takes up a lot of storage space, just to name a few! Lettuce has a lot of carry over costs.

However, I am sure the person putting your sandwich together at Subway doesn't not know this. I still think just letting the server/preparer know right off the bat in measurable terms how much lettuce you would like is still the best way to go.

Perhaps asking for "double lettuce" or "triple lettuce" could reduce the number of times you have to ask, but you'll be more likely to get more lettuce. My husband had to get used to my ordering quirks. It's always "no mayo, no tomato" on the burger. There are distinct advantages to this "especially when forced to eat at ***shudder*** a fast food place that uses heat lamps. You may have to wait a minute, but you always get a fresh sandwich. Anyway, food service employees are used to special requests. Most don't resent requests--it's just part of the job.

The waiter then proceded to ask my husband what the heck was wrong with me and how he could stand being with somebody who was so picky, and that I should grow a pair and stop crying.

Holy cow! I'm pretty patient because I understand the food business but I likely would have launched myself out of my chair at his throat over a remark like that. Just what your husband needed... Justification of your (perceived) "quirkiness" by an employee who obviously should be doing work where he doesn't deal with the public. How is it your fault that hiskitchen botched your order so many times? Were you supposed to just sit there and eat what was brought even though it was pretty far from your original order? Last I knew, restaurants were not a grade school cafeteria.

If the lettuce served at a given restaurant is expensive and the restaurant has bare bones pricing, a waitperson could advise you of an up-charge. (Especially true now that ingredients have escalated so much in price.) As long as you can afford it and leave the establishment happy, there should be no drama associated with your request.

Your husband has you convinced that this request is outlandish and it's not. As for the example of the thrice-screwed-up quesadilla, there is absolutely no justifying that waitperson's attitude OR remarks. Remember this (and you might share this tidbit with your husband): You are paying for the food. This gives you an inalienable right to request it as you like it.

@annien - thanks for putting that so succinctly. Her husband should do his utmost to see that she's happy, not berate her for asking a restaurant to prepare her food as she likes it.

Michigander said -- Personally, I don't think Subway is 'horrid.'
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I don't either.

They're not great, but I certainly wouldn't call them "horrid".

Of course, it depends what you're comparing them to.

As for making better sandwiches at home... that has nothing to do with what lettuceat asked us, and it's also an issue certain folks never seem to understand. Some people don't want to make their own food. They enjoy the convenience of grabbing a quick bite while they're out running around. Furthermore, people who enjoy fast food are not all fat and lazy. On the contrary, some are simply too busy with other things in their lives.

Subway serves decent sandwiches at a decent price, and they offer many options that are healthier than burgers and fries. No, it's not the best meats or cheeses, but that doesn't make it dog-food.

Frankly, I'm starting to grow weary of hearing folks put down food just because it's not homemade or doesn't come from a fancy restaurant.

^ Exactly, I would rather go to a regular deli, or get a "fast food" nosh as described above than to eat cheap, overpriced, sodium and nitrate-pumped up cold cuts and cheese on Styrofoam 'bread' with yellow mustard and chopped iceberg, tomato popcorn balls sliced up.

This is not snobbery against prepared food as such, but it just boggles my mind how you can make a better sandwich at home or even get a better sandwich from a supermarket and people still go to Subway.

My husband and I are both particular about our food. We always ask to make sure substitutions can be made. I always tell our server that I can NOT have any bell peppers in my food or as a garnish. If my food is not delivered as ordered, back it goes. With the high cost of eating out, it is a waste not to get a quality meal.

My husband cringes when I order steak out. But if it isn't right, he supports me 10000% if I complain. I couldn't imagine a husband not supporting the love of his life regardless of any ordering "quirks"! And, I agree with Cassaendra's closing statement.

I am so sorry that your husband struggles with your love of lettuce. It is his responsiblity to be sure you are happy, taken are of and that all your needs are met. He does not need to be concerned with how your lettuce loving effects those who wait on you. I stuggle with something similar with my boyfriend. If we pull up to order at a drive thru and I do not instantly know what I want, he is outraged to ask the person for a second to look at the menu. I try to remind him that it is me he should be more interested in keeping happy than the employee. Maybe your husband needs to deal with his own issues that are causing him to be so upset by some thing as innocent as lettuce...

do not stop ordering what you want and most definitely are paying for... just find a way to ask for it that would be more accomodating to the sandwich makers...

I am a Subway frequenter and I always ask the guys to change their gloves, to cut my bread from a new bun, to use just cleaned knives and to use cheese from the middle of the cheese pile, not the top... i've learned to support and frequent those Subways with employees who are accomodating and even if they think I am a bit weird for them, that indeed I am a nice and amusing weirdie...

Cassaendra, I agree with the principle of what you said, that you should at least be willing to support each other in that regard and be on the same side. However, my husband would be frustrated and even infuriated with me if I didn't at least have enough conviction to promptly tell anyone--waiter or whomever--that what I received was not up to par and give them a chance to correct their error before flicking food around the table and restaurant.

And rightly so. I wouldn't put up with a three-year old flicking food around.

That's not to say you shouldn't be able to get your food how you want it (within reason; at a certain point you should just order something else, go somewhere else, or start cooking at home more often). But generally, if you're going to be a high-maintenance special-ordering customer, you should be willing to extend some of the same patience, accommodation, and clarity to the staff that you are demanding from them.

Renzata -- I am positive I was succinct about my request and that she didn't fail to understand "no onions and no cilantro."

The situation could have been rectified nicely if she was around. She dropped our dishes at our table and walked off w/o a word - never once came around to ask how the dinner was.

She whipped by several times, but so quickly my husband didn't have a chance to flag her down. He was REALLY thirsty...having been served his single glass of soda over an hour ago. I suppose my husband could have gotten her attention by standing up, waving his hands, and yelling out to her.

I honestly wished I could have smashed her face down in the platter and asked her how yummy the onions and cilantro are...

@Cassaendra -- There are options other than sitting mutely at a table dying of thirst for an hour, and standing up and yelling and waving. Getting up and politely approaching any other available employee comes to mind. Depending on the place, that could be a different waitperson, a hostess, manager, bartender... and if everyone was off hiding in the basement bomb shelter, I would have headed off to the kitchen and poked my head in there to see if anyone was still alive in there. Not to raise a ruckus, but to ask for a server to come to the table or to ask for the manager, depending on what the issue was.

This can be done in a way that's quiet and unobtrusive as far as other diners are concerned. No one knows if the quiet conversation you're having with an employee is because of a complaint, a compliment, or if you're just old school buddies.

I've been in restaurants where suddenly the servers seem to evaporate, but usually there's someone else around.

@lettuceat -- As far as the request for extra lettuce, it may very well be in the way you're asking. For example, DH dislikes frosted beer mugs. He is also unfailingly polite, to the point of sometimes being too polite. So instead of saying, "I want a non-frosted glass," he will say, "The glass doesn't have to be frosted." The first statement is pretty clear. The second implies that the server doesn't have to work extra hard to get a frosted glass for him.

Or, it could be a matter of cost, where the extra lettuce falls into the management's range of requiring an extra charge and the sandwich-maker thinks that no one would willingly pay extra for lettuce. We ran into this sort of scenario at a pizza place where we asked for mushrooms, extra mushrooms, and more mushrooms on top of that. Basically, we wanted three toppings, but they were all mushrooms. When the pizza arrived it had the same amount of shrooms as the pizza that belonged to the couple dining with us. When we pointed this out to the waiter, he said, "If we put any more mushrooms on, you would have had to have paid extra." So we've learned that if we want to double up on an ingredients, saying we want extra isn't enough. We have to clarify that we want double or triple the toppings, and that we will willingly pay for two or three toppings-worth of the same item.

So maybe it's all in how you phrase the request. Maybe the key is to ask the sandwich maker: "If I wanted twice that amount of lettuce that you're putting on right now, and then that amount more on top of it, what's the best way to ask for it because when I say 'extra' I only get a little bit more?"

It could be worse...you could be like me and ask for exorbitant amounts of onions and jalapenos :D

Your husband consider himself lucky that you're asking for lettuce

To Michigander from lettuceat - A lot of lettuce - about 2 cups. Is that too much?