PrintFunny remarks you can re-use
Today I was watching Kitchen Nightmares. Gordon Ramsey told this restaurant owner that she couldn't go 'round screaming and swearing "like Shrek in a frock." It was one of those things that just struck me as too funny. Have you ever heard a statement that in and of itself was just so great you'd be likely to use it yourself should the occasion arise? I think this may be one for me.
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22 Comments:
I love Andrew's term from the other night's Top Chef... "I have a culinary boner right now"! I will be using that one for sure!
jonfoxx at 1:48PM on 05/09/08
Mostly I collect mixed metaphors. Huge fan of "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it."
Kerosena at 2:40PM on 05/09/08
The first time I heard the expression: "God willin' an' the crick don't rise" I was just tickled and LMAO, I couldn't wait to use it. However, it loses alot of the charm and flavor when one enunciates and tries to correct the grammar (God willing and if the creek doesn't rise...) ppfffttt.
@kerosena--my cousin does that, too. Her most famous was "don't beat around a dead horse."
wookie at 2:54PM on 05/09/08
@ wookie, I'll have to add that one to my list!
I had a co-worker that I'd greet every day with "Good morning, how are you?" He'd always reply, "Too early to tell." I never got tired of hearing it, and would like to use it myself.
Kerosena at 2:59PM on 05/09/08
Er...I have to admit to using Sandy-isms from time to time. Like, groshery store, vinnie-garette, eXpresso, maRs-capone, melk, you can see allll the fllllavour, lllllieteralllly, lllil, INto (as in, "INto the bowl goes my potatoes"), to name just a few. I honestly find them irresistible.
brooke29 at 3:01PM on 05/09/08
If life was fair, birds wouldn't be allowed to eat worms!
nightmoon at 3:10PM on 05/09/08
@jonfoxx Me too! That had me rolling during the previews! I must have played it back 10 times.
Thinking back to my potty-mouthed kitchen days, I'm surprised I've never heard that one. We used to always try to one-up one another with vulgar comments.
Erinay77 at 3:22PM on 05/09/08
Which do you think works better, dress, or frock? "Shrek in a frock" has the 'k' sounds matching at the end, while "Shrek in a dress" is a kind of near-rhyme.
floretbroc at 4:34PM on 05/09/08
She has more chins that a Chinese telephone book!
A co-worker of mine once said:
"It's either feast or fathom! I mean phantom."
"I guess I'm just a clog in the wheel."
Another one said," It's either six and a half dozen or one of the other."
1stmakearoux at 4:40PM on 05/09/08
@kerosena, did you used to work at a certain yoga center in Mass? Because I did, and I used to say that sometimes...
lovelybunny at 5:43PM on 05/09/08
@Kerosena/Lovelybunny-I am stealing that line, "Too early to tell." That's great! Love it.
I have a way of mixing words up and not intentionally trying to do so. A famous line of mine: "I'm up to my earballs in work." Ummm, what?? Yea-my co-workers have never let me forget it. It's used frequently.
There are so many, I can't write them all down.
Butrflygirly at 6:06PM on 05/09/08
The Husband uses a Rocky Horror line when he wants to know if food is ready, "Is it soup yet?" I often nod and said, It's soup!"
JerzeeTomato at 6:10PM on 05/09/08
The Shrek remark made me laugh out loud!
I think there's a country song that says "we'll burn that bridge when we get there." A friend of mine used to play that song in her car all...the...time. I just googled the lyric and it's by Brooks & Dunn.
How about "Always the mermaid, never the bride"?
In the eating genre, family members of several generations like to say, "My eyes are bigger than my stomach."
MelsDiner at 7:53PM on 05/09/08
I just gave my husband a take-out suggestion and he said "Let's not and say we did," which my grandmother said a time or two.
"Roman noodles" for ramen noodles.
MelsDiner at 8:03PM on 05/09/08
I generally use this when I'm asking someone really busy to do something:
"I know you're juggling porcupines but if you have a sec, could you...?"
When I see people staring into a fridge with the door open for inordinately long periods of time:
"It's not going to sprout wings and fly out. If you're looking for something specific BEND and maybe you'll find it!"*
* Also a good argument for fridge-on-top models.
If I want to imply that something is my default action:
"Nine out of nine-and-a-half times, I'll..."
If I'm in a particularly small space:
"There's not enough room in here to change your mind!"
chiff0nade at 12:15PM on 05/10/08
And of course right AFTER I clicked "post" I thought of another (a gem made popular by my mother).
If a person leaves food on their plate, I will ask,
"What happened? Your eyes were bigger than your stomach?"
chiff0nade at 12:17PM on 05/10/08
Whenever I was upset or pouty over not getting something I wanted, my grandmother would say, "People in hell want ice water."
suthungirl at 1:32PM on 05/10/08
@chiff0nade, looks like great minds think alike (your mom and my relatives).
MelsDiner at 5:37PM on 05/10/08
When I was a kid, if I wanted something, my mom would say, "It's good to want." and leave it.
Christina at 7:22PM on 05/10/08
Not food-related, but the first time I heard "That dog don't hunt" I almost wet myself from laughing so hard.
Also, the one I constnatly heard growing up, and one of my favorites to now use on my own family in response to the oft-repeated query,
"What's for dinner?"
"Food."
LoCo at 8:27PM on 05/10/08
" i won't eat anything that's cooked in 30 minutes and has no cholesterol"
julia child
olddad at 9:09PM on 05/10/08
I knew a restaurant manager who would respond to the question, "Where do you get your fish?" with the joking answer, "Oh, the kitchen." (waited for everyone to laugh then told them the source.)
My sister, while in college, was super busy her final year, student teaching, finishing a BA/MA program in ed, and working in a private dining club. So her philosophy on cooking and food was "Ten minutes to cook, ten minutes to eat." Needless to say, she weighed about 95 pounds.
wookie at 5:35PM on 05/11/08