Funny remarks you can re-use
Today I was watching Kitchen Nightmares. Gordon Ramsey told this restaurant owner that she couldn't go 'round screaming and swearing "like Shrek in a frock." It was one of those things that just struck me as too funny. Have you ever heard a statement that in and of itself was just so great you'd be likely to use it yourself should the occasion arise? I think this may be one for me.
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39 Comments:
I love Andrew's term from the other night's Top Chef... "I have a culinary boner right now"! I will be using that one for sure!
jonfoxx at 1:48PM on 05/09/08
Mostly I collect mixed metaphors. Huge fan of "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it."
Kerosena at 2:40PM on 05/09/08
The first time I heard the expression: "God willin' an' the crick don't rise" I was just tickled and LMAO, I couldn't wait to use it. However, it loses alot of the charm and flavor when one enunciates and tries to correct the grammar (God willing and if the creek doesn't rise...) ppfffttt.
@kerosena--my cousin does that, too. Her most famous was "don't beat around a dead horse."
wookie at 2:54PM on 05/09/08
@ wookie, I'll have to add that one to my list!
I had a co-worker that I'd greet every day with "Good morning, how are you?" He'd always reply, "Too early to tell." I never got tired of hearing it, and would like to use it myself.
Kerosena at 2:59PM on 05/09/08
Er...I have to admit to using Sandy-isms from time to time. Like, groshery store, vinnie-garette, eXpresso, maRs-capone, melk, you can see allll the fllllavour, lllllieteralllly, lllil, INto (as in, "INto the bowl goes my potatoes"), to name just a few. I honestly find them irresistible.
brooke29 at 3:01PM on 05/09/08
If life was fair, birds wouldn't be allowed to eat worms!
nightmoon at 3:10PM on 05/09/08
@jonfoxx Me too! That had me rolling during the previews! I must have played it back 10 times.
Thinking back to my potty-mouthed kitchen days, I'm surprised I've never heard that one. We used to always try to one-up one another with vulgar comments.
Erinay77 at 3:22PM on 05/09/08
Which do you think works better, dress, or frock? "Shrek in a frock" has the 'k' sounds matching at the end, while "Shrek in a dress" is a kind of near-rhyme.
floretbroc at 4:34PM on 05/09/08
She has more chins that a Chinese telephone book!
A co-worker of mine once said:
"It's either feast or fathom! I mean phantom."
"I guess I'm just a clog in the wheel."
Another one said," It's either six and a half dozen or one of the other."
1stmakearoux at 4:40PM on 05/09/08
@kerosena, did you used to work at a certain yoga center in Mass? Because I did, and I used to say that sometimes...
lovelybunny at 5:43PM on 05/09/08
@Kerosena/Lovelybunny-I am stealing that line, "Too early to tell." That's great! Love it.
I have a way of mixing words up and not intentionally trying to do so. A famous line of mine: "I'm up to my earballs in work." Ummm, what?? Yea-my co-workers have never let me forget it. It's used frequently.
There are so many, I can't write them all down.
Butrflygirly at 6:06PM on 05/09/08
The Husband uses a Rocky Horror line when he wants to know if food is ready, "Is it soup yet?" I often nod and said, It's soup!"
JerzeeTomato at 6:10PM on 05/09/08
The Shrek remark made me laugh out loud!
I think there's a country song that says "we'll burn that bridge when we get there." A friend of mine used to play that song in her car all...the...time. I just googled the lyric and it's by Brooks & Dunn.
How about "Always the mermaid, never the bride"?
In the eating genre, family members of several generations like to say, "My eyes are bigger than my stomach."
MelsDiner at 7:53PM on 05/09/08
I just gave my husband a take-out suggestion and he said "Let's not and say we did," which my grandmother said a time or two.
"Roman noodles" for ramen noodles.
MelsDiner at 8:03PM on 05/09/08
I generally use this when I'm asking someone really busy to do something:
"I know you're juggling porcupines but if you have a sec, could you...?"
When I see people staring into a fridge with the door open for inordinately long periods of time:
"It's not going to sprout wings and fly out. If you're looking for something specific BEND and maybe you'll find it!"*
* Also a good argument for fridge-on-top models.
If I want to imply that something is my default action:
"Nine out of nine-and-a-half times, I'll..."
If I'm in a particularly small space:
"There's not enough room in here to change your mind!"
chiff0nade at 12:15PM on 05/10/08
And of course right AFTER I clicked "post" I thought of another (a gem made popular by my mother).
If a person leaves food on their plate, I will ask,
"What happened? Your eyes were bigger than your stomach?"
chiff0nade at 12:17PM on 05/10/08
Whenever I was upset or pouty over not getting something I wanted, my grandmother would say, "People in hell want ice water."
suthungirl at 1:32PM on 05/10/08
@chiff0nade, looks like great minds think alike (your mom and my relatives).
MelsDiner at 5:37PM on 05/10/08
When I was a kid, if I wanted something, my mom would say, "It's good to want." and leave it.
Christina at 7:22PM on 05/10/08
Not food-related, but the first time I heard "That dog don't hunt" I almost wet myself from laughing so hard.
Also, the one I constnatly heard growing up, and one of my favorites to now use on my own family in response to the oft-repeated query,
"What's for dinner?"
"Food."
LoCo at 8:27PM on 05/10/08
" i won't eat anything that's cooked in 30 minutes and has no cholesterol"
julia child
olddad at 9:09PM on 05/10/08
I knew a restaurant manager who would respond to the question, "Where do you get your fish?" with the joking answer, "Oh, the kitchen." (waited for everyone to laugh then told them the source.)
My sister, while in college, was super busy her final year, student teaching, finishing a BA/MA program in ed, and working in a private dining club. So her philosophy on cooking and food was "Ten minutes to cook, ten minutes to eat." Needless to say, she weighed about 95 pounds.
wookie at 5:35PM on 05/11/08
Last night on Top Chef, Bourdain remarked to the overly-defensive, arguing cheftestants, "Alright, you're not talking to your parole officer. Let's move on." Love it.
BangieB at 3:33PM on 05/22/08
@BangieB: Last night's Top Chef was great! About died when Bourdain sat down at the Buddah Team table, took one look at the lavender napkins and said,
"I feel like I'm in the back of Prince's van!"
Susquehanna at 4:45PM on 05/22/08
If I come home late:
Mom: "Is that you?"
Me: "No it's Moses."
browntown at 5:02PM on 05/22/08
@Susquehanna: That line's even better!
BangieB at 2:52PM on 05/23/08
My mom never said any curse words when I was a child she would say Jimmine Crickets (spelling?) now of course she does she heard them all from me!!!!
rabbitriddle at 3:13PM on 05/23/08
One morning at work I was talking with my boss, and he asked me a question (about something of which I don't remember) and I told him I would need to "double make sure". I meant to say "double check" but he always made me so nervous! Now the whole office uses it like normal language, and it's only funny to me when the boss uses it!
aungeinphx at 4:19PM on 05/23/08
Being from the south we have a lot of 'colorful' ways to say things...
"So good it'll make you slap yo' mama" means, "oh my, this is delicious!"
"it's time to fish or cut bait" means, "stop dicking around!"
"we're in high cotton" means, "this place is nice"
sbelle at 4:45PM on 05/23/08
My mother always used to say; "Well now, stop trying to pick the fly s--t out of the pepper!"
izatryt at 5:41PM on 05/23/08
"Get off the cross, we need the wood"
(not sure where I got this...but it works when someones making a nuisance of themselves and acting like a martyr.)
bisbee at 6:48PM on 05/23/08
Here's another one from Gordon Ramsay. He was coping with a "chef" named Dave who threw a tantrum at him, then came back in a calmer mood. Ramsay's voice-over: "Now that Dave's got his toys back in his pram ..."
I loved it!
minstrel at 8:34PM on 05/23/08
Hm, food related catch phrases? My husband likes to complain, when there's nothing read for a snack:
"There's no food in the house – only ingredients!"
gentlyferal at 2:58PM on 12/23/08
Not food-related, but the first time I heard "That dog don't hunt" I almost wet myself from laughing so hard.
My stepdad used to say that. Sometimes he would change it up to say, "Not only will that dog hunt, I can smell the rabbit cooking!"
Also, the one I constnatly heard growing up, and one of my favorites to now use on my own family in response to the oft-repeated query,
"What's for dinner?"
"Food."
And if you're my mother and I....
"What KIND of food?"
"Good food."
"What kind of good food?"
"Mom's good food."
"What kind of Mom's good food?"
"Mom's homemade good food."
ad infinitum
nightowl at 3:18PM on 12/23/08
Not food related, but once when I was a preteen and had my Father's ear, I was blathering on about silly things, who wore this and who wore that,etc. then I told him what this cute boy said and asked Dad what he thought, Dad looked at me in a long suffering way and said, "My dear, it leaves me at the point of indifference, bordering on the supernatural." I have used this phrase many times to my own children and grandchildren.
bareneed at 5:19PM on 12/23/08
"________ was crack-a-lackin' lip smackin' good." Said by my 14 year old son, usually involving something with melted cheese, hot sauce or bacon.
dhorst at 7:34PM on 12/23/08
@Kerosena--my take on that one is "We'll jump off that bridge when we get to it." I think I heard that one on Buffy.
buffy at 7:53PM on 12/23/08
i'm a teacher and when a student starts whining i say "want some cheese with your wine?" or i hold out a cup and say "pour your wine in here and bring me your normal voice" - both ususally bring about a laugh from said student. or i'll look dumbfounded and insist "i'm sorry i cant understand you. i dont speak that langauge". all must be said in a calm and quiet tone.
gypsykid at 8:24PM on 12/23/08
When we'd clean our plates, my grandmother says "A soldier's coming home." I think it's a rationing term, but I use it all of the time.
Keight at 10:14AM on 12/24/08