WTF is on my swiss chard?

I was cleaning this chard from the farmers market (organic) and the last 2 leaves have something strange on them, neither appears to be "organic".

One is a bunch of tiny dots, in 2 shades of brown, connected together.
The other has 2 tiny opalescent beads on it. It doesn't come through in the picture, they just look like white dots, but they shimmer like pearls.

Pics are linked.

Does anyone know what this is, before I show them to my conspiracy-theory/UFO-obsessed husband? Are they coming for us?

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