PrintMy son turns 21 this June: a special way to celebrate?
My son turns 21 this June and we were thinking about a special way to celebrate. I was thinking about taking him to a really wonderful restaurant that has, perhaps, a tasting menu w/ good wines? (vs going out to a bar w/ his college friends....) We tend to live a modest, UWS-type life but fondly recall attending one party catered by Daniel years ago at which I truly came to understand the difference between the food we eat to live (though tasty) and food that is more than that: art. He has been cooking with his friends at school and think he will appreciate it. Suggestions? Where should we go? How would we arrange it? How much should this cost?
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21 Comments:
I would suggest a fine multi-star restaurant that has the multi-course tasting menu's and matching wines. And if it's one of the world-class places (Daniel, Le Bernardin), you could surprise your son with that Chef's cookbook at the end of the meal as a present to remember the special occasion.
jonfoxx at 2:13PM on 04/07/08
I would highly suggest doing this early the night of his birthday and avoid at all costs doing it the day after. My parents took me out for lunch the day after my 21st. You can imagine how fun that was for me, trying not to act hungover.
unarata at 2:16PM on 04/07/08
I agree with unarata, and I'm speaking, of course, in the broadest of generalities and with no knowledge of your son and your family dynamic.
Special dinner is great, don't get me wrong, but whatever you do, try to be finished by 10. I don't mean to sound insensitive, but as far as I'm aware, the fuss over the 21st birthday is, essentially, the ability to go to the bar with college friends. You can drink nice wine with your parents at a fine restaurant from a younger age, even high school. Of course you can drink, generally, without much difficulty while in college, but, you know...
Basically, ask him what he would like, and it's almost certainly not a good idea to surprise him with a dinner the night of. From my own perspective (21 wasn't so long ago), I'd be thrilled to go to dinner at Daniel, but would prefer the night before. Not the night after.
renzata at 3:47PM on 04/07/08
Or even the weekend before. Celebrate on a night that's not THE night... no one will have fun if he's itching to go out to meet his friends. Also, that fine meal is more likely to stay in his belly where it belongs if it's not followed by a night of drinking. In my experience, everyone at the bar wants to buy a drink for the birthday boy or girl, and overindulgence is almost a rite of passage.
Kerosena at 4:08PM on 04/07/08
Alternatively, you can look for ideas over here:
http://www.seriouseats.com/talk/2008/04/best-hangover-food.html#comments
renzata at 4:27PM on 04/07/08
I wouldn't spring it on him. Discuss!
PerkyMac at 4:37PM on 04/07/08
I agree with the others, and would further point out that the "day" of his birthday, he will be terribly hungover because he went to the bar last night at 12:01 AM. Avoid that day, that night, etc. and do it a week later. Great idea in spirit, but Kerosena hit it on the head that no one will have fun if he's itching to go out afterwards (or hungover from the night before).
eatme at 5:21PM on 04/07/08
In complete agreement with the others that I don't know anyone who left college to hang out with their parents on their 21st b'day. Again I don't know your family either, and I went to a top ten party school, but let's be realistic here.
My parents did a very cool thing, they let me be away at school to do my thing, then took me to Vegas 3 weeks later for Memorial Day weekend to celebrate with them.
And surprises are bad, very bad, (usually) for college students, AND parents, so I agree not to spring anything on him either--just tell him to be careful and have fun, and do something nice when he comes home, or sobers up!
bobcatsteph3 at 6:23PM on 04/07/08
I know this may sound crazy to all the people posting opinions about letting him enjoy his 21st birthday with his college friends, but you do realize that gt said her son's birthday is in JUNE! right? I mean, the only way he would celebrate his 21st in college would be if he attended summer classes, and then by then any form of a break would be welcome.
Shadomn24 at 10:55PM on 04/07/08
Shadomn24 actually I went to Ohio University and they frequently don't finish until the 2nd week of June, so if it's early June he could very well be in school for his b'day.
Also not only did I spend some summers at OU, maybe taking a summer session, maybe not. But even if I didn't, plenty of weekends I went back there to hang out with friends and get a break from home.
Lastly, she did write "vs. going out to a bar with college friends" that doesn't mean he has to be at school, he could have college friends come visit him, or he could visit them. So no, it's not correct that "the only way he could celebrate would be if he attended summer classess" since you don't always have to be AT school to be with your best friends. And you certainly don't always have to attend college to be in the same city, they don't kick you out if you aren't enrolled you know.
bobcatsteph3 at 11:13PM on 04/07/08
Turning 21 in theory means you're officially an adult and independent from the nest that raised you. Your son may prefer to spend that day celebrating his adulthood away from parents and family. He may oblige you, if the family is close-knit, or if you can guilt him into it, but his friends are going to think it odd, at the least, if he chooses to spend his birthday with family instead of being stupid with friends. At at that age, the opinions of his peers are going to mean a lot.
I'd suggest making plans for the dinner on the following weekend, or on a day of his choosing. Present the idea to him on his birthday, and let him pick the day for the dinner.
dbcurrie at 11:16PM on 04/07/08
Is there a reason he/you all have to get drunk and or feel the need for inibreation at all?
Is that considered a requisite to a *celebration*? It just wouldn't be a celebration without alcohol?
Why be shy go whole hog and get some strippers to! Lap dances all around!
Wow. So much for thinking out of the box.
Stiv61 at 7:15AM on 04/08/08
Go sky diving together, far more memorable IMO
Stiv61 at 7:34AM on 04/08/08
If he is interested in food, take him out. But you have to decide what is important- the experience, the food, the place, etc. My son is 32, and at 21 he appreciated great food, but was not interested in a "chic" place. In NYC, check out the places that are hip, and fabulous- Momofuku (Noodle Bar(no res, but spend quality time waiting) Jewel Bako(LES) Little Owl(cool) , or go to Brooklyn to Saul or the Grocery. You deserve to spend time with your son on his birthday, he will find his own time to party with his friends.
Mich23 at 10:15AM on 04/08/08
Tell him to be careful with his buddies and I am serious it's no joke.
To wit:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/24004376/
Stiv61 at 11:14AM on 04/08/08
I think he'll want to spend time with his friends on his birthday so I wouldn't call the dinner instead of going to bars with his friends. But, the tasting menu idea sounds great and if I were him, I would love it! Just see when works best for him.
Hillary
Chew on That
Chew on That at 12:11PM on 04/08/08
Mich23 has a great point about choices of restaurant. I've only been to Momfuku out of the 3 mentioned (sadly, no longer live in new york), but those pork buns were one of the most amazing dishes I've eaten. Ssam is another option, which might be more comfortable for you. Something skewed a little younger might possibly be up his alley, and then you have something great to do for his graduation dinner.
Just thoughts, is all.
renzata at 1:00PM on 04/08/08
It is interesting how my question brought up so many memories for many of you! I really appreciate what Mich23 wrote, too. Our son will be home from college and is into good food and cooking. We are looking for a way to celebrate the wonderful adult he has become, and since we have never gone to a great restaurant before this would be a special experience for us to share. (We are still allowed to do this, even though he is officially a grown up :-) Also, the exact day we do this doesn't matter.) Like Mich23, we care most about truly great food -- but we want to have fun and feel comfortable (so I don't think we want a place that's too "chic" or "stuck up" or that costs as much a the airfare to France...) All, please write back with any recommendations you can think of, re: those restaurant jewels that I wish I knew about! (P.S., Ed, where would you take your son on an occasion like this?) Thank you!
gt240 at 7:51PM on 04/08/08
As a person who is turning 21 in August, and currently thinking about how I plan to celebrate with my family, I think it's very, very cool that you brought it up on Serious Eats.
I do wish people would hush about the hanging out thing. The bars don't get serious till 10, 11 or even 12. So dinner at 7.30 or eight would be lovely. Also, just because you're out for 21 doesn't mean you have to drink yourself ill.
lovesomething at 10:40PM on 04/12/08
Personally, I think your idea is lovely. My own son, who is only 16 at present, would absolutely DIE to be taken to a really nice restaurant, even now. He loves to travel, loves food, loves new experiences, and, although it's not exactly cool, he's confident enough in himself to appreciate spending "adult" time with his "square" parents. That said...
I do not live in NYC, but I go there often, and usually with the primary objective of eating fine food.
Take him to Daniel. If you can get in at Per Se, and it's in the budget, go there. Consider Le Bernardin. And of course Babbo and Gramercy are both great, and might feel a bit less stuffy.
One other thought. Ask him to invite a "close friend" (e.g., girl/boyfriend, best friend, etc.). He'll appreciate it, and you'll probably get a kick out of spending time with him "in his culture" if you know what I mean.
Have a great time!!!
LoCo at 11:46PM on 04/12/08
As somebody that just had their 21st birthday two weeks ago I have to say this would be the perfect present. In fact my parents sent me and my best friend from school to Daniel for my 20th birthday and it was a wonderful gift. I would also love to go with my parents for another occasion.
Some of my favorite meals I have had recently have been at Mario Batali's restaurants. Babbo would be my top recommendation. Great restaurant and I had a wonderful bottle of wine that was only $30 so you don't have to break the bank. They have a la carte and tasting menus with wine pairings available so you have options. I had the pasta tasting menu which I loved, and I believe was 69/ person. Another option if you are looking a little less expensive is Del Posto Enoteca, another Batali restaurant, that has a smaller tasting menu for 45/ person.
Outside of Batali, I like Blue Hill. Jewel Bako is another amazing place, though I don't know if I would put it in the same category as Babbo and Blue Hill. If you can get in Momofuku Ko is new, trendy and well reviewed which could fit all of your needs. However, there are only 12 seats and they only take reservations online a week in advance. If you are already planning now you might not appreciate the uncertainty. Finally, Per Se would always be a wonderful option. I have never been but I have been trying to convince various family members to take me there for a while!
I might also recommend not going on his birthday, since I did appreciate the chance to spend the evening with friends. That said, any other night I think this would make a wonderful birthday present that you will be sure to remember. Also, I loved jonfoxx's idea of giving him the chef's cookbook at the end.
Good luck and enjoy your meal!
Rocky at 12:53AM on 04/14/08