PrintHow can you mend a broken heart?
For those few of you who have been following my short-lived romance with Amazing Guy, he's not so amazing, and I am blue. Break-Up Blue. And as such, am pounding down the Rum Raisin ice cream with no thought to calories or the inevitable 7 lb weight gain (because, yeah, I can be single and fat! That'll show everybody! I swear, sometimes I really believe I am 12 years old). Honestly, I am exaggerating a bit. It's really not all that bad (save massive ice cream consumption), but it got me thinking. What's your go-to food for romance misery? Do you get all weepy and ice creamy? Or all "I'll show him/her" and go on a diet and work out like an animal? Does the Chinese delivery place down the block know your order by heart? Waddaya do?
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28 Comments:
when I have the break-up blues I usually loose my apetite and get real skinny... and that's when I reach for the guava paste topped with cream cheese. Oh my lord... it is sooo good.
If you're into ice cream... you HAVE to try these Ben & Jerry flavors I just ried out this past weekend at their factory in Vermont - Everything but the..., Americone something, John Lennon Imagine and the Triple Caramel Chunk - this last one is only available at their shops. They're just too amazing.... break-up or not.
And, you know what... you don't want to be with anyone who does not want to be with you... so it's HIS loss. Your TRULY amazing guy is out there looking for you. And remember, you didn't like his cooking anyway.
MadelynRodriguez at 7:59PM on 04/01/08
My only basis for comparison is when my marriage ended in 2006. Reader's Digest version... After eight years together, my husband decided he wanted a divorce. He shared this information by sending me an e-mail. Bear in mind, the day before said e-mail was ...mailed, we were holding hands and discussing what we were going to do over the weekend.
The only food I could get to pass my lips without throwing up was... Ramen Noodles. Eventually, I could actually get excited about eating at Carrabba's. Granted, one meal at Carrabba's wound up being 3 days' food but it was the only grub I actually craved.
So my go-to foods would be Carrabba's and Ramen Noodles.
chiff0nade at 8:36PM on 04/01/08
@chisai - Bummer! However, the Great news is: You are now able to get out there and meet the man who will peel grapes and feed them to you while you are sipping the fine champagne he brings because he is in complete awe of your culinary skills. Keep your chin up! Life is Good!
crazyspice at 8:38PM on 04/01/08
Sorry to hear it, chisai...my vote is that you eat whatever makes you feel better (healthy or not) for a set (short) amount of time, and then crawl out in to the sunlight and start cooking for people you love! For some reason, that's something that always makes ME feel better...
ONWARD. :-)
Curlz at 9:16PM on 04/01/08
Food? Food?!?! who can think about food when just dumped! Dr. Jameson's is what is required!
bravian at 9:27PM on 04/01/08
Usually when I found myself in a failed relationship I realized it was my own fault. My conscience wracked with pangs of regret, I would be unable to eat for literally hours!
Then I'd usually have a pizza!
srhcb at 10:10PM on 04/01/08
The first time I was ever dumped (I was 15) I addressed the situation with a half gallon of Breyer's mint chocolate chip. Now I can't eat the stuff at all.
Joy Manning at 10:37PM on 04/01/08
the last bad breakup was so incredibly shattering that i literally couldn't eat for a month. i subsisted on marlboro lights, bananas and iced coffee.
the bad breakup before that, however, was accompanied for a good six months by a nightly pint of ben and jerry's new york superfudge chunk. it was not pretty, and neither was i when i finally stopped coating my sorrows in butterfat.
hang in there, chisai! sorry things didn't work out.
cybercita at 11:54PM on 04/01/08
When I got divorced I threw a party. We did a BBQ in June. Hot dogs, burgers, chicken, potato salad, corn on the cob, chips, dips, sangria punch and lots of insult the bastard jokes. My friend made a penis cake with the balls cut off and we named it after the ex. We all told break up stories and sat outside on what was a lovely day.
Life is a journey and change is part of it. You should eat what you like because you are alive and you love food. Move from the sadness into living your life. It is all about you baby. Yours to do what you like. Me personally I never look back except to laugh. I keep moving forward.
JerzeeTomato at 2:14AM on 04/02/08
Eat pasta, lots and lots of pasta. Perhaps of the carbonara variety. It will save your soul and mend your broken heart!
PumpkinBear at 4:22AM on 04/02/08
Married now but bad break-ups in the past resulted in massive weight loss. Three days would go by and I'd realize I hadn't eaten a morsel and had to force myself to eat something.
A bad disagreement with my husband, however, tends to send me running to the pantry or fridge to have a bite or two of whatever's ready-made and available. Unfortunately, a "bite or two" tends to multiply exponentially because my mind blanks out as I sit there thinking "I can't believe he said that" and before I know it, I've eaten more than I've intended.
Sorry about your guy. We can help you come up with a new name for him. "The Unworthy One"?
MelsDiner at 6:02AM on 04/02/08
Oh, honey... I'm sorry he turned out to be a super rat (from 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'). I'm with you on the eating like mad when there is a broken heart. Lord, I wish I were the type to waste away to nothing when my love life was in trouble. But, alas, I'm the type to bake and cook myself silly. Ice cream doesn't really appeal to me (was allergic to milk when I was younger and never developed a taste for it). For me it's chocolate, carbs, and Tex-Mex. All the stuff that I'd normally avoid.
If you are anything like me you will meet the right guy when you least expect it. Sending you positive vibes and happy thoughts!
sbelle at 7:55AM on 04/02/08
The Dairy Queen blizzard is my misery food. Oh yeah. Mud pie or Reese's P/B Cup.
Consider this: Instead of burying your sad thoughts in food, why not divert yourself with a physical activity or new goal?
Get up and put your runnin' shoes on. Running is therapy for me when I'm down. Sign up for a 5K, 10K or hell, start training for a marathon. Join a running club. Meet a sexy runner guy!
Susquehanna at 8:16AM on 04/02/08
I'm so sorry to hear that! Break-ups really are terrible, and don't let anybody tell you different or make you feel bad because you "should be an independent person and not need anybody." It sucks, and pretty much all you can do is slog through.
Personally, I'd recommend against going the "I'll show him" route. You may wind up a) almost starving yourself because of your need to feel in control of your life (or by way of 'punishing' yourself for being -horrors!- vulnerable to heartbreak), and/or b) waking up years later to realize that you've wasted years and tens of thousands of dollars and drummed up ridiculous amounts of cortisol because you decided to work your ass off to get into that impressive grad school program that you didn't really particularly want to be in in the first place but you wouldn't let yourself realize that because you were subconsciously trying to impress the ex and by the time you were over him you'd already put so much into your new life you couldn't bring yourself to drop it ... by the way, this is *not* a true story. Nope. Not at all. Just an example. Really. Um, yup.
Anyway ... the point is, go ahead and let yourself be a sorry, sloppy mess of a human being for awhile. You won't regret it.
tacroy80 at 11:23AM on 04/02/08
Sorry to hear about it. Keep us posted on how you're feeling.
Here's my prescription for a broken heart: Eat whatever you want for exactly one week. All those things you normally can't justify... now is the time to have them. Pizza w/ pepperoni and extra cheese? Homemade fettucine alfredo? Ben and Jerry's "Chocolate Therapy" ice cream? Go for it. Go to bed early every night. Take tylenol PM if you can't sleep. Watch a lot of TV. Put your pajamas on as soon as you walk into your apartment. Take plenty of baths. Wallow. Do not waste a perfectly good chance to be miserable for a little while.
After a week, you will be totally sick of living like this. Call your friends and go out dancing all night. Things will begin to brighten up soon.
Kerosena at 12:03PM on 04/02/08
Friends, Vodka, the next one.
nelson5757 at 1:14PM on 04/02/08
Thanks for all your tips. I really do need to reiterate, as I said in the original post, as break-ups go, this one really isn't so bad. I've not had a single thought about how I'll be alone the rest of my life with nothing but 14 cats for company. :-) This really was about just seeing how other people handled this kind of stuff foodwise. And it's been really interesting to see. Running the gamut from massive ice cream consumption (yay team!) to eating right and working out @susquehanna (I knew it, there's one in every bunch!) to @nelson and @bravian's direct and to the point alcohol consumption (hee).
Reading this stuff has brought such a smile to my face.
chisai at 1:26PM on 04/02/08
Oh honey, I'm so sorry he turned out to be such a schleb! We've all been there. I've heard of this phenomenon of the "ice cream cure" for bad break-ups, unfortunately it hasn't ever worked for me. The last time my heart was broken, I couldn't eat for a month. I'm not sure exactly how much weight I lost, because I was rather out of my mind at the time, but I do recall being as thin as when I had mono in high school. I was under 100 lbs. and when I turned sideways, people kept mistaking me for their credit card.
I have so matured though - if that ever happened again (and it had better not), alcohol would certainly play an important part in the healing process. So, essentially, I would say - in this order -
Meditate
Drink much vodka
Meditate about drinking vodka
Find a new hottie, more worthy of your loyalty and adoration
Kind of joking, but not really! Thinking of you! xoxo
frederika at 7:03PM on 04/02/08
hey chisai, it's too bad that didn't work out. comfort food is great, but make sure to eat some healthy stuff too. junk food brings down your mood, and cooking and sitting down to a healthy meal is a pick-me-up in itself, even without the nutritional benefits. so if you feel at all up to it, make some simple healthy dishes and spend some time in the great outdoors. :) hope you feel tip top again soon!
stumbler02 at 7:17PM on 04/02/08
Dinner tonight? Big bowl of pasta and marinara sauce. Clearly we're entering phase two. Zero rum raisin ice cream. I'm outta the woods people!
chisai at 8:06PM on 04/02/08
Yay chisai! Congratulations on the rebound dinner! Carbs will definitely help, too.
Here's to quick healing - be well, darlin'...
frederika at 11:09PM on 04/02/08
Going through a break-up right now, and my dinner tonight was potato chips with sour cream onion dip. I'm now sitting on the couch at 11:30 pm with what's left of a very large cake on my lap, eating it with a spoon. Did I mention that I have chocolate frosting in my hair?
Vegetarianka at 11:21PM on 04/02/08
@Vegetarianka... oh no! Actually, it's only bad if you resorted to sucking said frosting out of said hair... poor baby...
@chisai... I think you need to go rescue her!
LoCo at 11:40PM on 04/02/08
@Vegetarianka - I've had several chip and dip dinners myself. You look pretty on point foodwise, adhering to most of the time-honored break-up food groups. Fat, salt, fat, sugar, fat.
Many people go for the booze. Which I totally understand, but which makes me make unfortunately thought out phone calls that really seem like a good idea at the time and never, ever are.
You know, Rum Raisin is my go-to food of romance pain, but because of that, even though I love it, I can only eat it then. I have this almost Pavlovian response to it now of badness.
Anyhow, I really think I'm pretty much better. This is the beauty of no longer being 22 years old. It's easier to put life in perspective. Now if I still looked like I did at 22, that would be awesome...
chisai at 7:45AM on 04/03/08
@chisai - I am glad to hear you are onto the next phase of "healing". I am proud of you for not falling into the abyss of drunk dialing! ;-D
crazyspice at 8:16AM on 04/03/08
Nelson should be my new boyfriend (don't tell my current boyfriend that). How could all of us have forgotten about the good ol' booze?! At the risk of sounding like an alocoholic; nothing feels better after a missed deadline, a love spat or a bad day like getting sloshed with friends on Crown and Cokes! Hey, give me a break, I'm 23 and still somewhat stupid and irresponsible.
PumpkinBear at 8:30AM on 04/03/08
@pumpkinbear, don't worry I won't tell. ;) Of course you would have to live in NYC or somewhere relatively close. @chisai I am happy to read about last nights dinner, sounds like a good start. Remember Friends don't let Friends dial drunk. Please keep posting.
nelson5757 at 3:06PM on 04/03/08
@chisia - sorry to hear about the breakup...recently went through one myself, only to find out he had been kind of seeing someone on the side while we were together (with whom he's still with)...ugh!
After a breakup, I mentally tell myself that I'm going to get into the best damn shape ever, to impress the ex and show him what he's missing....which usually ends up never happening, as usually I grab for the pint of ice cream, spoon readily in hand!
@PumpinBear and Nelson - I agree, getting sloshed with friends is always an excellent cure for a bad day - for me vodka cokes or gin & tonics are the drinks of choice!
jmfors at 10:32PM on 04/03/08