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My parents constantly say crazy things about food, my father in particular. Anything like sushi, sashimi- even California Rolls will make you deathly ill in his book. My grandpa, whenever he orders a loaded pizza complete with olives, mushrooms, bell peppers and different meats, will ALWAYS tell the pizza guy NOT to put any cherries on the pizza ... and he's not joking. I don't know how he got the idea in his head that not only are cherries an option, but that it's mandatory on everything pizza's, but it makes me laugh every time.

Forgive me for being slightly off topic, I have been reminded of this story because I am helping a friend plan a Spanish-themed dinner party.
Returning from a trip from Spain many years ago, whenever anyone asked about my trip I would tell them the highlight was an evening spent visiting the tapas bars in Madrid. At one point, someone said "Topless bars?" and I wondered how many people had just believed that without asking for clarification.

When I first moved to the town I'm by now I stated to my coworker that I wished this town had a good Italian restaurant. His response "Fazoli's is coming". Nough said.

we wanted to take a co-worker out to dinner to celebrate her birthday... when we asked her what her favorite restaurant was she responded, without missing a beat, 'Olive Garden'... so sad.

My MIL has some interesting ideas about food, sometimes. Once, we were looking at some of the veggies I had growing in my garden and when I showed her the cucumbers, she said that she couldn't eat cukes. First thing I thought of was gas problems, but then she went on, saying that she had to buy the special low-acid cukes. Huh? I said that cukes weren't all that acidic, and did she eat pickles? And she said yes, pickles were okay, that the pickling got rid of the acid somehow. Again, huh? She said she had no problems with tomatoes or citrus fruits, but that when it came to cukes, she had to look for the special low-acid ones. I asked her where she found these special cukes, and she said she got them at the grocery store sometimes.

Another time, she said that she was taking some medication and that because of it, she wasn't supposed to eat grapefruit or grapes. I think of heard of meds that react with grapefruit, but I really believe that she added grapes to the list just because of the name.

Recently, she declared that "salt is bad for you." Not "too much salt," just salt, period. This, despite the fact that I don't think I've ever eaten a meal at her house that didn't include bacon in some form, and most likely some sort of salami-like meat is part of her appetizers. Maybe rolled around a pickle spear. And her most favorite restaurants to go to are Chinese buffets. But she doesn't add salt to anything she cooks, because it's "bad."

1) At the local supermarket, I was lingering in the breakfast aisle, trying to remember if I needed oatmeal. Two young women pushed their cart nearby. One pointed at a display and exclaimed, "Those Pop-Tarts are nasty!" I turned to notice they were placing a box of Pop-Tarts in their cart. It took me a moment to realize the lady was referring to a particular Pop-Tart flavor.

2) My ex invited childhood friends--a very nice couple--to Sunday brunch. He told me they were bringing bagels and that they wanted roast beef and tuna salad. Puzzled at the request, I nonetheless was happy to accommodate, and prepared a roast and some tuna salad. When we sat down to eat, the two gasped. (I later found out that for them, everything came from "the deli." They didn't cook at home.) I noted the wife lifted one forkful of tuna, examined it briefly, then scraped it onto the side of her plate as she shot her husband a look. I was troubled; the stuff tasted fine to me, and the two guys seemed to be enjoying everything. Finally I asked her if anything were wrong. "There's a vegetable in this," she said. "I can't eat this vegetable."

She was referring to the diced celery.

We were in a family restaurant once when my oldest was about 5. We ordered him a cheeseburger and some wedge-shaped fries. He took a bite into one of those fries, gasped and hollered, "There's potatoes in these fries!"

about 10 years ago, I was asked to bring mashed potatoes to a holiday dinner. I must've made a horrible face because my host asked me what was wrong. I replied, "I've never made mashed potatoes, my mother always told me they were really hard to make so I've never tried."

The rest of the story is my dear mum is not a good cook and mashed potatoes might have been challenging for her. I have since learned how to make GREAT mashed potatoes and think of this conversation every single time.

At a steakhouse I overheard someone say, "Oh, it IS well-done, it just stays pink because it's a special cut of meat...like salmon."
Hahaahhaaaaa!

Last weekend, for Girl's night out, we went to a little Mexican place. One one of the specials was a grilled whole Dorado filleted table side. When it arrived, my one friend was concerned the fish would see the knife.

@lemon - That made me laugh!!

My inlaws were coming to visit and to say their tastes are simple is an understatement. I'm not much for cooking a big hunk of meat and pot of potatoes, and I knew they liked to go to Chinese buffets, so I made a pretty simple, not too spicy version of cashew chicken. My father in law gave the serving dish a leery eye, but loaded up and ate in silence. Afterwards he said with surprise-"I usually don't like anything with sauce, but that was actually good!" I took the sideways compliment in the spirit in which it was intended, and bit my tongue to avoid asking what he called the red goo he regularly puts all over his chicken balls!

This was a good question, the comments are pretty funny!

@mml: I feel you on the Olive Garden- a few years ago I was leaving a job at a community center after about 4 years there, and my coworkers planned me a very special surprise going away lunch... at Olive Garden. Whoa. The sad thing is we were all so underpaid that some people couldn't come because they couldn't afford it. Yikes!

Also, I used to cook in restaurants, and once I made warm cookies for staff meal, as a treat- one of my favorite indulgences. But none of the Latino cooks would eat them, even though they always wanted cookies during work. When I asked why, they looked appalled, and asked in Spanish: "didn't your mom teach you that eating cookies warm from the oven will give you diarrhea?"

Huh?!?!

My father in law will refuse to eat any pasta dish he is offered because he is convinced that pasta "will make him fat" (yeah, I know, he sounds more like an anorexic teenage girl than a 64-year old man). However, he has no problem putting a couple of steaks on his plate and helping himself to a nice piece of cake after that, all the while drinking gallons of disgustingly sweet iced tea...go figure! Once we had them over for dinner, and I made orzo with garlic, basil and fresh tomatoes, among other things. He had a couple of helpings and told me that "that rice you made is very good". I had to kick my husband under the table really fast (and hard) before he opened his mouth to say that it was, in fact, pasta!

I used to work with a woman who always had comments about my food. I guess I'm a little sensitive about what I eat, and she was a little insensitive about what came out of her mouth.

In the wintertime, I sometimes buy those juicy cocktail tomatoes that come in the net bag. IMO, they are pretty close to "the real thing" = tomatoes in season. She used to say I was spoiled for eating them since they were expensive (3.59/package). Hell, I worked for the money to buy them, so how is that spoiled?

Also, I have been known to use ranch dressing on occasion as a dip for my veggies. So sue me. Comment was: "Oooohhh, that's so FATTENING." Please leave me alone. Let me eat my lunch. Don't make judgments about me or my food. Especially when you eat generic brand frozen dinners for lunch every day.

Like I said, I'm a little sensitive.

@karenita, I've also heard the comment about cookies warm from the oven making you ill. I can't remember who said it -- probably somebody's mom. And at the the time, it was probably just to keep us kids from eating all of them right away.

My MIL will sometimes say that she's allergic to certain foods or spices, but the allergy will be oddly specific. Like she's allergic to celery salt in cole slaw, but celery seeds in other applications are just fine.

We were eating at our favorite Lebanese restaurant and a family of four sat down beside us. They had falafel on the table amongst other things. This is what I heard "I don't know I think they are called matzo balls". I grinned and then told the family that they were called falafel and were made of chick peas. Makes me smile when I order falafel now.

An exchange with one of my students yesterday:

"I gotta stop eating junk food. Jewel [where the student works] is just full of junk food."
"Instead of picking up junk, why don't you walk over to the produce section and pick up some fresh fruit to snack on?"
"The kind in the can?"

we grew up kosher, so when my sister was little and went to a friend's house for dinner and was offered cheeseburgers, she explained she couldn't eat them because she was "allergic" - guess it was easier for her than trying to explain jewish dietary laws :-)

my bf's mom swears she is allergic to tomato skins. so she will peel them and eat them. i find this weird as i have never heard of it before. seems ridiculous, as does the apple skin thing.

my little sister claims she is allergic to every food she doenst like

Overheard in a supermarket:

You get the flea dip, I'll get the chips.

(Yum!!!)

As a kid my mom told us we didn't like dark chocolate or coconut. As a adult, years before she passed, I said, "Mom why did you tell us we didn't like dark chocolate or coconut? I do to like them." Typical mom response, "It's the only way I ever had to get a piece away from you kids." I still have not told my sister she probably does like...

My mom would have loved the "warm cookies will make you sick" and I use to hear that Mayo was dairy!

My mom was from Galveston, Texas and I grew up in New Jersey....fresh fish everywhere in the 60's. So I do appreciate the comments on Red Lobster. I was asked to go to one in Fresno, California. Saved my money.

A friend and I had been sharing vegetarian recipes online and one day a lurker asked if we could post something for people who eat meat. I replied that one reason we posted vegetarian is that anyone can eat plant-based meals. Something seemed to click for her because about a month after that she was talking about how she'd been discussing with her doctor about limiting the meat in her diet and eating meatless meals more often. Apparently she ended up losing 40 pounds.

I know the author of "Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone" mentioned something about being at a talk highlighting meatless meals, before she came out with that book, and a guy came up to her after to tell her it all sounded so delicious and how sad he couldn't eat any of it since it wasn't a vegetarian.

Certainly my daughter had no problems among her friends when she went vegetarian but the parents were a different story. Almost everyone looked at her stunned and asked, "What do you eat then?" Days later a parent will proudly serve her a meal when she's visiting, pointing out they'd remembered she was a vegetarian. However the meals are often chicken, fish or shrimp based. One was sprinkled heavily with bacon.