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I've never read a Rachel Ray cookbook but she makes it look so damned easy on her shows that might be a good, non-intimidating place for you to start. The Joy of Cooking is is basic but too huge, at first, for a well meaning husband to plow through.

Good luck!

I suggest a focussed path.

Start with a good cookbook; there are lots out there, but for all-around reliability--especially if you're a bit unsure in the kitchen--'The Best Recipe' is the one I'd recommend. The recipes range from the simple to the complex, and from the quick to the more lengthy, but all have been tested over and over, and use widely available ingredients. And the book enables you to produce impressive and interesting dishes, too.

Then, pick a recipe for something you'd both enjoy, read it carefully, and do any necessary shopping. I'm big on improvising, but if you haven't dome something previously, it's good to stick to the recipe so that you can establish a solid baseline, so get the listed ingredients.

Read through again, sort out any lingering questions, and get on with it. If the recipe involves leaving things to cook for a period of time, set a timer (the one on your cellphone is fine if you don't have a kitchen timer, but do get one); don't count on remembering the time unaided, it's asking for disaster.

And keep on in this vein... classes can be wonderful, but if you first have a grasp of the basics, not only can you start cooking straight away, you'll get a lot more out of any class you eventually do take.

Equipment? You probably will find a lot of what you need in the kitchen already. Make a list of things you really need as you go, and unless you simply enjoy collecting utensils as an end in itself, don't buy specialised tools that seem awfully clever. Save the money and get some good knives, instead (there has been at least one great thread on knives already, which you may want to check out).

Hope you enjoy your new enterprise!

Why don't you ask her to teach you? She will be able to show you which pan and which stove setting are best for pan searing meat, or simmering sauce, or carmelizing onions, etc. Once you've learned the basics of some of your favorites, then you can surprise her with a new recipe. There is no substitute for hands on with an experienced cook. That's how I learned from my mother and my children from me. We then went on and expanded our skills and repetoire. Cookbooks and cooking shows are wonderful resources.

I can't tell you how rewarding it is for me. I hope you enjoy it as well. Good Luck! Your wife has a great husband. ;)

I would second the recommendation for Bittman's How to Cook Everything. I gave it to my sister-in-law, who hates to cook, and she now says she uses it all the time. It's my go-to reference for all the basics.

Read "The Best Recipe" or "How to Cook Everything," pick up an issue of Gourmet or Bon Appetit, read Alice Water's "The Art of Simple Food," and have fun! As long as you can follow directions and are confident in what you're doing, cooking is really easy. When cooking is easy, it becomes fun! You just have to remember to shop in advance for ingredients (start thinking about what you want to make the night before, grocery shop right after work, and you'll be set) and learn a few skills (many of which you can learn by reading comprehensive cookbooks), and you'll master it in no time.

I agree with PerkyMac, why don't you start with helping your wife in the kitchen? A lot of the most intimidating part of cooking is in the details (chopping, sauting, know when it's "done", etc) You can learn all of this by being in there and helping. (Helpful marriage hint: this means accepting the fact that she knows what she is doing and she in the one in control!). Watching the food channel is great-but watching a cooking lesson in your own home is even better. And believe me, a sincere offer to help along with the companionship of doing something together can only make your married life better!

By all means, start in the kitchen with your wife. Let her know your motive (for bonus points in your relationship) and be prepared to "take the back seat" by doing a lot of the menial tasks which will give you good practice in the basics of technique. You'll also learn what makes her happy and what rattles her cage when it comes to her order and method in the kitchen. Unless you intend to completly take over the kitchen duties, remember that you are on her turf and if you disturb the ecosystem too much whatever you do will not be perceived as taking some of the burden. Imagine her wanting to help you in the shop and rearranging your tool box, leaving things out of place, using up all of the screws and not replacing them at the hardware store or using tools for something other than their intended use. Yikes!

You can expand your skills with very little investment by using your search engine to find video instructions for recipes you both like. With the step-by-step visuals, you will gain the confidence to start experimenting. I would suggest that you wait a bit before racing out to buy all of the recommended books of instruction and recipe collections. Browse the books you wife uses, check out what is in your friends' library, visit your local library and use your search engine again to find recipes from the suggested books to see if they fit your learning style and palate.

Love your commitment to please your wife. That should make for a very Happy Valentines Day!

I suggest you just jump in and make a recipe. Pick a food you like and get a recipe off the internet (a good site http://www.epicurious.com has reviews of recipes) , go shopping and then start cooking. You'll make mistakes but probably more successes. Little by little you will pick up tips and techniques by trying new recipes. Also, there are lots of cooking classes offered. Gourmet shops, community colleges. A great starter cookbook is The American Test Kitchen Family Cookbook. Good luck.

I learned basic cooking techniques from my mother, but was never really happy with many of the dishes I made in early university when I left home. They were bland and boring. Then I met my boyfriend, who had grown up in a highly disfunctional home - but his father was Eastern European and his mother was Quebecois and they ate well. Add onto that his attendance at a vocational high school - he could taking cooking classes at school (he was in the academic stream, but it was an option) and his habit of taking every field trip offered so he wouldn't have to go to school (grin). Bingo - he was an amazing cook. He taught me by taking me shopping, showing me the difference between the blander ingredients I was used to buying and the fresh, market style products available in our city. I was off to the races. When I discovered televised cooking shows, I went crazy. The relationship with the man didn't last, but the relationship with cooking and food sure did. I'll always appreciate his patience and tutelage - as you will if you work with your wife to learn how to be passionate about food!

Many of the suggested tomes, while complete, can be somewhat intimidating if you are just starting out. You might check out one of the _I Hate to Cook_ books by Peg Bracken. They address kitchen activities with humor, and also cover some things that the other books assume you're already very familiar with. [See if you can check it out of the library, before you make an investment in buying the book - a good practice for any cookbook] The comments re: having your wife tour you through the kitchen are well taken.

As a basic cookbook, I highly recommend the 1975 version of Joy of Cooking. It can still be gotten from vintage book sites. I'm not a fan of Bittman but Joy is tried and true for a very long time.

I'll chime in again to also recommend Cooks Illustrated The Best Recipe Cookbook, and to join their website. It is so worth it and it's not expensive at all. Not only are their recipes tried and true, but they recommend the best food products and equipment and even show you the best cuts of meat for the intended cooking method.

If you haven't mentioned your intentions to your lucky wife, it would be a great Valentine's Day romantic surprise that you wanted her to help you learn to cook her favorite recipes. It would melt my heart!

I've taught my boyfriend to cook some of his favorite foods by following these steps:
1. Make it with him observing, participating in smaller steps.
2. He makes it, with me there to guide.
3. He makes it entirely on his own -- I am "on call" in case of disaster.

He's getting pretty good at the basics, and I worry less about him subsisting solely on ramen and mac and cheese.

I also recommend Joy of Cooking. It's fun just to read, and I've gotten some great ideas while aimlessly browsing. (Definitely go for 1975, I've heard they changed things in the newer editions, including one rumor that measurements were flat out wrong for some recipes!)