The Trendiest New Food Ever Invention Thread
If one new food could incorporate every food trend, what would it be (the trends can be anything related to food (agriculture, cooking, packaging, presentation, ingredients, etc.)
I vote for a miniature organic pomegranate and bacon cupcake baked in a hollowed meyer lemon stuffed into a free-range duck baked into a heirloom turkey topped with truffled matcha foam divided into 100 calorie packets banned by schools and sold under Rachel Ray's name.
You?
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20 Comments:
Me? Laughing, impressed, and speechless. Very creative KarynMC! Is it a RaRay Terduckcake that can be made into delish stoup?
PerkyMac at 1:54PM on 01/15/08
Can you supply the sous-vide instructions for my thermal circulator?
zapatista at 2:20PM on 01/15/08
I'm here to tell you, that in the not-too-distant future, some haute-shaute chef in a trendy restaurant is going to serve the clientele sandwich à merde, and they're going to love it!
A perfect example of the classic, "You are what you eat"?
SB (remember, you heard it here first!)
srhcb at 2:24PM on 01/15/08
LOL....I'll have a dreck on rye, please! Yum-O!
RichardCrystal at 2:49PM on 01/15/08
You want a side o' cow chips or buffalo chips with that sammie, kids?
PerkyMac at 4:34PM on 01/15/08
You guys are hilarious! I love how this thread has mutated. I seriously can't do better than KarynMC. My hat is off to you.
Kerosena at 5:40PM on 01/15/08
Okay, if none of you want to "go there":
The restaurant will be called the "Coproteria".
Disclaimer: SB hereby resigns from this thread and will not be liable for any further deviations from it's intended course.
srhcb at 6:29PM on 01/15/08
I'm all for mutated threats. Make that a cloned heirloom turkey (mutations will surely abound).
KarynMC at 6:39PM on 01/15/08
I might add that it would subsequently be profanely mocked by Anthony Bourdain.
And perhaps, a year or two down the road, ironically revived by hipsters.
renzata at 8:54PM on 01/15/08
Today I would like to offer you our specialty, the latest creation, the one we worked on for forty-five minutes last night while finishing off the dregs of our customers wines.
A sous-vide seaweed-wrapped lamb tongue is sided with a pyramid of pig-tail and brain charcuterie assortment smoked over pig toenail scrapings. This meaty morsel is accompanied by a raw milk zero-percent fat pink-seasalt custard decorated with photo-perfect edible renderings of a choice of two celebrity chefs (you may choose from our edible chef gallery menu - we offer more chefs than anyone, full range of options. Please be advised that Adria renderings have an upcharge).
Dessert will be a plate of aromacized air - bacon or vegan flavored available. Truffle butter foam lollipops are placed at every placesetting, and our waitstaff most assuredly will not introduce themselves and will also be pleased to immediately forget who you are, what you want, or where your table is.
Welcome!
Karen Resta at 7:04AM on 01/16/08
I forgot to mention - if you are looking for a simpler dining experience do stop by our TapasSushiTeaWineBar. We offer any live octopus of any size accompanied by tapas, sushi, tea, wine, or tea and wine mixed together.
Dress casually for you'll want to visit our Organic Farmer Petting Zoo on the way out. For an extra fee you can feel their hardworking hands and be amazed at the dirt under their fingernails!
Everything we have is locally sourced. If we can't grow it we clone it.
Karen Resta at 7:58AM on 01/16/08
I love it, Karen Resta!
KarynMC at 8:31AM on 01/16/08
Karen, There HAS to be one already in Los Angeles somewhere!
RichardCrystal at 10:09AM on 01/16/08
Karen, There HAS to be one already in Los Angeles somewhere!
RichardCrystal at 10:09AM on 01/16/08
Not with the pig toenail scrapings. There's a ban on them anywhere in California.
Karen Resta at 1:35PM on 01/16/08
"Not with the pig toenail scrapings. There's a ban on them anywhere in California."
As an expat native Angeleno, I can vouch for that! ;-P
Richard, if there isn't one in LA already, you can bet that's where it's likely to show up first! Otherwise, maybe Seattle.
LoCo at 1:57PM on 01/16/08
Our $842 prix fixe menu includes the following:
The amuse bouche is three wild-sourced Sri Lankan crickets caramelised in sugar extracted from cane from the field in which they (the crickets) were harvested. The hand-thrown pale blue plate evokes the sky at dawn, which is when crickets are caught, and are produced exclusively by various support groups that our discretion forbids us from identifying.
This course is served with any one of our selection of añejo rums (all beverages are served by the glass, ad libitum).
The main course is raw geoduck farmed by novice nuns of legal working age; the geoducks are humanely slaughtered by dynamiting an entire tankful at a time. The geoduck is thinly sliced, and napped in an organic thistle-seed oil, liquorice, and rum emulsion, and tied thematically to the appetiser through the dusting of free-trade cane-flower pollen. The limited edition, coil-built and hand-burnished plate echoes the subtle brown shades of this course.
This is accompanied by an exclusive organic Nebraskan añejo mezcal.
An unsweetened herbal cayenne, mint, and hops ice cleanses the palette, and prepares the mouth for dessert; this is prepared table side, and spooned directly into the diner's mouth by his or her server, allowing the diner to concentrate full attention on the experience. This is accompanied by your choice of Hungarian or Crimean absinthes.
The dessert course aggressively rejects sweetness. A granita of cabbage and balsamic vinegar is layered with a foam of jerusalem artichoke and unripe figs; delicate shavings of culatello and a reduction of mead and scotch bonnet peppers add textural contrast and warmth, while a dusting of unsweetened cacao playfully reminds the diner that this IS dessert.
For the more conventional, or those with small children, we offer a simple organically raised peacock balut from a culturally diverse farming cooperative on the shores of Lake Danao.
This is accompanied by your choice of our finest small-batch, hand-crafted Crimean or Flemish whiskeys, with hand-made marshmallow.
Many of our diners prefer to have their server spoon-feed this course to them as well, and our staff is happy to please.
mongoose at 2:52PM on 01/16/08
Wow. That is all I have to say about that.
firewren at 3:04PM on 01/16/08
Ha, ha! Beautiful.
I forgot to mention that we have servers-upon-demand that will remain behind your seat to cut your food for you, and at times they are willing to chew it for you too.
We do not use nuns as workers at any point in our process, though. We have found that ex-lawyers or ex-successful MBA types work better and for less money. When we run low on candidates for employees sometimes we clone them along with whatever other cloning is on the list to do that day but usually they seem to keep walking through the door willing to work for next-to-nothing which fits our corporate policy well.
Karen Resta at 3:31PM on 01/16/08
Uh, WOW Karyn, wow! I'm so impressed and I love that you did not fail to leave the matcha trend out of there. You included just about everything!
Hillary
Chew on That
Chew on That at 6:05PM on 01/17/08
Our $842 prix fixe menu includes the following:
The amuse bouche is three wild-sourced Sri Lankan crickets caramelised in sugar extracted from cane from the field in which they (the crickets) were harvested. The hand-thrown pale blue plate evokes the sky at dawn, which is when crickets are caught, and are produced exclusively by various support groups that our discretion forbids us from identifying.
-----
One plate for a table of four, I assume.
CapeCodBob at 2:29AM on 01/20/08