PrintI don't deserve your artisan cheese
I'm young, and I look younger than I am (when I tell people I just graduated, they ask me from which high school). Still, I stand straight, I make good eye contact, I don't usually dress like a homeless person, and I happen to like cheese, wine, and loose-leaf tea.
Yet, cheese, wine, and loose-leaf tea sellers tend to treat me with disdain. The last time I went to buy loose-leaf tea, the woman at the counter rolled her eyes - rolled her eyes - when I asked for her recommendation in tisanes.
At artisan cheese shops, I'm often made to feel like I'm wasting the cheesemongers time (especially when I start throwing around phrases like "vegetarian rennet").
Is this considered the right customer service? Am I doing something wrong? Do I just not "fit in" - should I go back to Coke and American Singles?
Anybody else made to feel like crap when all you want is a nice, sheep's milk blue?
Add a comment:
Previewing your comment:
HTML Hints
Some HTML is OK: <a href="URL">link</a>, <strong>strong</strong>, <em>em</em>
Comment Guidelines
Post whatever you want, just keep it seriously about eats, seriously. We reserve the right to delete off-topic or inflammatory comments. Learn more at our Comment Policy page.
If you see something not so nice, please, report an inappropriate comment.
Start Talking!
Need a question answered? Have advice to share? Start a Talk topic now!
Sign up to get your questions answered and share advice.
18 Comments:
ah Karyn my dear to quote someone old and smart, "It's in the way that use it." I tend to be a sore thumb often. First I am short, second I am loud, third I am demanding. I want what I want, when I want it.
I often show up at some high falutin place dressed like a middle aged soccer mom and spouting off questions and demanding things tout de suite.
You are a bright young woman, you have the world on a string, if at first you don't succeed maybe you should try, try again. Maybe this time with more confidence. If that doesn't make them happy well then you are the customer, when you go to a shop if they do not give you good customer service don't use them again. Your money is no good for them, pardon my language but screw them!
I always give people a second chance most times before I take my business elsewhere. I am sure the SE community will direct you to a cheese shop or tea emporium near you with friendly people willing to answer questions and who actually want to sell something.
I wish I had been there. Someone would have got a can of NJ opened up. Oh man I would have gone medieval on their asses!
JerzeeTomato at 8:22PM on 01/05/08
I wished you lived in California. In Carmel, there is this cheese shop called "The Cheese Shop Inc." they give everyone the best customer service. If you threw around the term vegetarian rennet they would start opening and giving samples of whatever cheese they could find with that kind of rennet in it, then tell you all they know and where else you could find those cheeses, and then make a list of them for you. Seriously! My 15 year old goes in there everytime we visit and the owner and salespeople let her and anyone in the shop, sample anything and everything, going so far as to open brand new cheeses. Instead of buying teenage stuff she blows all her money on cheese. Your money spends just as well as anyone elses. Go find another cheesemonger!
evilchefmom at 8:22PM on 01/05/08
@ Jerzee Tomato - Well, I don't think I acted either shyly or obnoxiously. But it's something I've noticed over and over again - I'm sure my height (5'1) doesn't help . . . .
@ evilchefmom - I wish I loved in California, too! The bad experience was at a Cowgirl Creamery, my second trip there. Even though there were two unoccupied cheesemongers in the store, they didn't so much as greet me for five or six minutes, and I had to wait for the guy at the register to get off his cellphone to ring me up. My first experience there was much nicer, though . . . so I'm not sure if this is a regular thing or if it's hit or miss at that shop.
So . . . good places for tea and cheese in D.C. and Maryland. Suggestions?
KarynMC at 8:59PM on 01/05/08
KarenMC, I'm 33 and 5'0 and still get carded frequently, even with my children in tow! People are very dismissive of me all the time, you aren't alone. I just find places who are friendly to me no matter what I look like, then I'm a customer for life.
evilchefmom at 9:06PM on 01/05/08
In the Boston area the best cheese shop is Whole Foods Market (sorry Formaggio Kitchen, but it's true.) I don't think I've ever found them condescending. And their selection of loose leaf tea, although not in bulk, is quite good. They have plenty of Zumi, Rishi and lots more. How are their midatlantic stores.
Someone recently asked me to teach her boyfriend a cooking class and give him a tour of my restaurant. She said they love food and cooking. When she sheepishly told me that they were only seventeen, I said that's awesome, I'll do it for free.
zapatista at 9:10PM on 01/05/08
You would think foodsellers would want to attract young customers, whose business might last a lifetime, instead of dismissing them.
@zapatista - The Whole Foods on P Street is nice, just very much out of my way. I do love that they sell the tiny slices from the end of blocks - it's a very nice way for a single girl to put together a one-person cheese plate.
It's wonderful that you're so generous with your time!
KarynMC at 9:18PM on 01/05/08
Be yourself, but be your confident self. Confidence doesn't mean you know everything and don't need assistance, it means you know who you are and deserve respect. It is an attitude to wear and exude, even when you don't always feel it.
If you feel someone is being condescending, tell them so, as nicely as you can. If they continue, ask to see their manager or leave if you must. If you are behaving maturely, you have an absolute right to be treated with dignity and respect.
Anyone who has worked with the public as long as I have knows that age and appearance are not indicative of intelligence, knowledge, character, wealth. Just please don't go full circle and adopt an attitude of "better than thou." That isn't confidence, it's just plain obnoxious.
I'd love to be young again. It doesn't last too long, so enjoy the moment and don't let snobby snots ruin your day. Before you know it, you'll be teaching them about cheese, tea, and wine! You go, girl!!!!
PerkyMac at 10:24PM on 01/05/08
Same thing happens to me. That's why I've been a bit reluctant to start my cheese eating New Years resolution. I've been in this cheesemongers before and been ignored but it is the most convenient one. I might have to hold off and make trips down to the market where I know they are friendlier.
lexophile at 10:27PM on 01/05/08
It's not you, Karyn. It's the place.
Sometimes you will find places where there are people who will have presumptuous attitudes the moment you meet them. It happens a lot around food, for sure.
lola27: Different strokes for different folks, I guess, but......looks like your dogs and cats got the heaves, and the first dish looks like deceased frogs. Stomach was turning, so I couldn't read your blog, but I'm sure you enjoyed your meal and that's all that matters.
PerkyMac at 1:25AM on 11/24/07
Just keep shopping till you find a place where you don't need to tussle.
Karen Resta at 10:47PM on 01/05/08
When my boyfriend and I first started going to wineries when we were 19 and 20 (I love Canada), we had a terrible time getting service. At most places, they seemed to expect that we were in it to guzzle. On Salt Spring Island, at this tiny winery run pretty much out of someone's backyard, loudly saying, "I wonder how many bottles we should buy today" worked VERY quickly.
In places with more options, we'd sample what they eventually offered, and if we really liked, it we'd buy maybe one. However, at the places with excellent service and enthusiasm? Yeah, we bought a LOT more. *shrug* There will always be someone happy to take your money - may as well find the places that deserve it.
Acting as though you have no doubt that you belong is good - but that takes time. Of course, with enough time, your problem is solved anyway!
Peasantwench at 3:15AM on 01/06/08
First, feel sorry for them-- they are socially impaired people. Second, try to disarm them:
You (in a sincerely sympathetic voice): "Bad day, huh?"
Them: "What?"
You: "Seems like you're having a bad day. I know the feeling. Do you think I could please taste the Humboldt Fog?"
This will usually shame all but the most socially impaired person into getting their act together.
Ann Fisher at 9:32AM on 01/06/08
I generally confront, in a respectful way. I might say something like...'"I get the feeling you don't really want to help me right now, is that accurate?" or, "Is there some reason you are acting annoyed with me?"
If you don't get a response, get the manager. and while I would give them one more chance, if they aren't better the 2nd time, I would take my business elsewhere, and I would probably tell all my friends that I got bad service there.
cmckenna at 9:59AM on 01/06/08
Karyn, I'm assuming that you were in the CC in Penn Quarter? I don't live in DC but went to that store with my cousin, who lives on the next block. I realize that he's a regular customer there, but the people at the back counter who we chatted with were very nice, and immediately started offering samples and asking what kind of cheese I like. I'd give them another chance, and if you don't get good service again, do speak with or call the manager of the store. That's just unacceptable behavior, and I don't care how old you are or what your height is! Your $$ are worth the same as everyone else's.
Curlz at 10:55AM on 01/06/08
Karyn, it's not an exclusive cheese and/or wine shop but the Wegman's in Fairfax,VA has an exceptional staff that actually know what they're talking about when it comes to both of those things (at least in my experience) and are very friendly. They have a extensive wine shop and their cheese selection is on par if not better than Whole Foods. It might be a drive for you (66 can be a nightmare) but worth a trip!
sshokie at 3:31PM on 01/06/08
Wegmans is worth a trip any and everytime.
JerzeeTomato at 6:00PM on 01/06/08
Ditto Jerzee and sshokie. Wegman's is an experience. Waiting for one in my area, but Mom lived 1/4 mile from the one in Fayetteville (Syracuse), NY which I think was the 2nd built, then rebuilt and expanded several times. Not only can you find anything and everything, but the service is superb. If they offered beds and showers, I might never leave. ;)
PerkyMac at 6:27PM on 01/06/08
Karyn, when I went on my cheese discovery quest a hundred years ago, when I was in my early '20's, I had the exact opposite experience. There's this cheese place in Manhattan, where I live, called Ideal Cheese. The guys couldn't do enough for me in terms of recommendations, letting me taste stuff, explaining what goes with what, etc., but I found that while they were amazing, most other places I went were still pretty good on the customer service thing.
One thing I've found that will generally get the storekeepers to be very helpful, is after the first visit, even if they're totally dismissive on round one, go back and tell them how much you appreciated their help and how everybody loved the cheese, wine, whatever. From that point on, they'll usually be pretty awesome because people love having their choices appreciated and valued. And will generally steer you away from this week's special if they're pushing it because they bought way too much of it and it kinda sucks but it has to be sold.
This isn't going to work at your neighborhood supermarket, but is pretty much golden in small specialty shops. Also, if I needed major help, I never went when the store was busy.
Again, as prefaced before, when I needed the that kind of help was years ago and I know that the customer service/courtesy thing isn't quite what it used to be. And if where you're going is just plain nasty, don't go there anymore. It's not you, it's them. And they don't deserve your business.
chisai at 7:49PM on 01/06/08
Karyn, I'm 22 and often get the same treatment from people behind counters and ESPECIALLY people at restaurants. I think sometimes there's a tendency for older people who are well-versed in their respective craft or profession (and this certainly seems true with people who are involved with food, chocolate, and the like) to be annoyed by younger people who are interested in whatever it is they offer. I don't know if it's because they think young people couldn't possibly appreciate or understand something as well as they could, or if they think young people are ridiculous when it comes to being connoisseurs of anything. Keep your chin up, and don't be afraid to speak with a manager, as others have suggested.
kmnola at 9:22PM on 01/06/08