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You DEFINITELY have to simmer for at least a couple of hours, on extremely low heat. I use a combination of Contadina stewed tomatoes, tomato paste, and tomato sauce, with water, italian seasoning, garlic powder, pepper, and brown sugar. My Italian grandma's secret weapon was to brown a good piece of pork with the bone in, and add it with the simmering sauce and meatballs. If desired, you can remove the pork when the simmering is finished, and shred to include in the sauce.

For my sauce I use a combinaton of meats; veal neck bones, beef short rib(s), boneless pork ribs, italian sausage (mild), and meatballs (made with ground beef, veal and pork). You saute all your meat and meatballs in the pot your making the sauce in. You then take the meat out. Drain off some of the grease (leave back about enough to fry the onions) Put the onion in. When they are half sweated put in the garlic and tomato paste, fry this up. Deglaze wth some red wine one you would drink. Next throw in your tomatoes. If I am not using my tomatoes, I will use the local italian brand. 3-4 2lb. cans. When I can find San Marzano I buy them but I do not make them the total component. Some crushed, some puree, passata or pomidori pilati if I have whole tomatoes I put them in the blender and pulverize them.
Next add in basil, pinch oregano, salt and pepper, pepper flakes.
Bring it to a slow boil. If it is too thick thin with some water. Drop it to simmer. Then throw back in the meat. Stir this often after the first twenty minutes drop to low. I usually simmer this for 2 hours. No real time just taste. Taste it. Re-season right before you serve. Good grated cheese is important.

I don't ever make spaghetti and meatballs. Meatballs and the resulting ragu are really best served with short pasta like penne, mostaccioli, farfalle and ziti. Jerzee's sauce sounds awesome but try serving it with one of the above pastas! You'll never look back.

Now, for spaghetti, I make the following:

Spaghetti and Pepperoni

2 Tbsp. Olive oil
2-6 cloves garlic chopped (as much as you want)
1 small onion, diced
2 28 Oz. Can Crushed tomatoes or Petite Diced
1 7 Oz. can Tomato Paste
1 stick Pepperoni
1 tsp. dry basil
1/2 tsp. dry oregano

Peel pepperoni. Run a paring knife down the side of the stick and peel off the protective coating. Cut pepperoni into circles about 1/4" thick. Set aside.

In a saucepan large enough to hold all sauce ingredients, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Saute the onion and garlic till soft but not brown. Add the tomatoes, paste and 2 tomato paste cans of water to the saucepan. Stir to combine. Add the pepperoni circles, oregano and basil. Lower to a simmer and cook 1 hour. Taste and adjust seasoning with S&P but I doubt you'll need either. Pepperoni is both salty and peppery enough!

Goes great with garlic bread and a salad.

My grandmothers both came from the old country one as a child and one as a 19 year old professional chef. They served meatballs with the pasta because (SURVEY SAYS) we liked eating them together. Of course they did not come from Venice. One came from North Italy and one came from South Italy. chiff is correct my sauce is a ragu and is best served with short pasta. Mea Culpa when someone says spaghetti my brain hears pasta. Spaghetti here is No. 8 and I serve my sauce with it as well (thin it out just a bit more for long pasta). Make the sauce is large quantity it freezes well.

I'm not Italian, but live in a VERY Italian town in northern NJ, and one thing I learned quickly is to buy the 'meatloaf mix' (that's what they call it) in my local supermarket. Equal parts ground beef, pork, and veal. I never made such great meatballs, meat sauce (ragu?) or meatloaf until I discovered that secret! Ground beef is just dry and tasteless in comparison.

Thanks so much to all for the advice. I like my beef/pork/veal meatballs, but they seem most tender when I put them raw into the "gravy". I have also added Itallian sausage, but it never occurred to me to add any of the other meats mentioned. I've tried all different brands and types of canned tomatoes, and none have seemed just right. I've mixed puree' with diced, drained and seeded whole tomatoes and roasted them, etc., etc. I always start with olive oil, onions, garlic, pepper flakes, sometimes green pepper (because I like the taste - I've never seen it in any recipe), tomato paste, tomatoes, red wine, seasonings. I tried a bit of sugar, but it made the sauce sweet - even a pinch. It looks like my number one mistake was using thin spaghetti - my favorite. Can't wait to try your suggestions.

I am all about the addition of other meats ( like pork but also LAMB), but I shy away from the long cooked sauces. I like the fresher flavors of quickly sauteed chunky tomatoes with tons of garlic, olive oil, and fresh basil. I roast/ braise the meatballs seperatly in a bit of wine and stock, have them as the main item of the plate and accompany with the fresh sauce on quickly blanched fresh pasta, or dried orchiette.
I guess this would be a more 'pan-mediteranian' approach.

One more thing - I never use bread crumbs in my meatballs. I use moistened actual bread. It ensures a tender meatball.

I do a beef/veal/pork mixture (straight ground pork and I spice it myself). I use homemade garlic crostini breadcrumbs that I pulse until it is almost powder in the meatballs and I add an egg and a touch of cream. My gravy is ALOT of fresh romas peeled and seeded and chopped with some onion, crush garlic, minced italian flat leaf parsley, oregano, basil and a splash (or 5 hehehe) of Merlot.

I put this on the stove in a stock pot and add in two whole stalks of celery, two large carrots cut in half and a green pepper that I have seeded and quartered. These are only there to impart flavor to the gravy.... I remove them later when I am ready to dump the gravy. I let it simmer for at least a couple hours, until the gravy is nice and thick.

My meatballs... I dredge each quickly in a little salt and pepper flour then quickly fry up the outsides in an olive oil and butter mixture then put them together in a large lasagne pan evenly spaced. I take my gravy that has been simmering and I pour it over the top (they should be swimming in sauce) and then I finish them off with an oven roast.

I make my meatballs huge and really they are a meal all by themselves. But I tend to like the short noodles as someone else already mentioned.

How to make the gravy not taste like that bottled crap.

I fry the meatballs before they take their bath. Then I fry the paste in the fond and residual drippings until it is dark red. After dumping the fried paste into the gravy I deglaze the pan with with red wine and add to the gravy.

For a long simmered gravy San Marzano tomatoes are not necessary. I use good old South Jersey Cento products.
http://cento.com/main.html