Funeral food
I'm just about to go downstairs and start a large pan of apple crisp to bring to the house of a friend of Mr. Meatloaf. The lovely man passed away a few hours ago, and my first thought was "What can I cook?" I was raised in a small town and that's just what we did back then in the 50's. When I moved to the city, my friends seemed surprised by the habit. Do you do it? And what do you bring? I range from homemade bread to potato salad to a pot of chicken and rice. And cakes, of course, and now apple crisp.
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21 Comments:
something that can be heated up quickly and easily and feed a crowd. a tray of lasagna, a big pot of meatballs and gravy.
VerasTastyFreeze at 12:34PM on 11/08/07
My friends and I still do it. I take a tray of finger sandwiches, can sit in refrigerator and eaten at any time.
NanaJoie at 12:41PM on 11/08/07
Some kind of casserole and/or a pot of soup or stew. I usually bring some fresh, and the rest packed up in single-serving freezer containers. It's a week or so later that you really need that stuff.
All the times I've ever been through this myself, we've been overwhelmed with cakes and cookies and pies, with hardly any of the *real* food that's truly helpful. So I always try to make something comforting and nutritious.
The last time, I had to travel a few hours by car, so instead of cooking, I cleaned the kitchen -- it was the day after Thanksgiving, and the place was still a wreck. Then, I went to the grocery. Restocked the fridge and pantry and laundry room with necessities. That got tears and hugs, so I think I'll do it again.
LoCo at 12:52PM on 11/08/07
Funeral food is funny....when I was catering, our regular customers would often call for things at their homes after the services. Their tastes usually ran to creative, modern, unusual, high-end, but when there was a funeral, they all wanted casseroles, ham, sandwiches, potato salad...the basic "mom is here to take care of you" food for a trying day.
Cary at 1:13PM on 11/08/07
I fix potato leek soup to which I add bits of chicken breast and some grated carrot and a sprinkling of chopped chives. It is hot (comforting), goes down easily (a consideration at such a time), and the carrot always seems me to be encouraging.
I appreciate the suggestions above and will try to expand my efforts.
islandexile at 1:48PM on 11/08/07
I think of food first as well, I always fix "funeral potatoes", not very healthy but tasty and definitely a comfort food and a cake of some sort.
Funeral potatoes are a lot like the hashbrown casserole from Cracker Barrel: shredded frozen hash browns (1 bag, thawed), cream of chicken soup(2 cans), chopped onion(1), sour cream(8 oz), butter(3 tbsp), salt, pepper and grated cheddar cheese(2 c.). Mix together and bake 45 min. It's stuff that I always have in the pantry and freezer so I can mix it up really quick without a lot of fuss.
As for the cake, I usually make a large sheet cake, already cut into serving sizes so they can eat what they want and freeze the rest or send it home with someone else with a minimum of fuss.
elderberry44 at 3:02PM on 11/08/07
I make spaghetti pies (similar to lasagna) that can be frozen and ham, turkey breast or both. There is also a layered casserole that I call Thanksgiving that has turkey, gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole w/french fried onions on top. I put it in a disposable pan and add a couple of cans of cranberry sauce. I'm assuming this food will be for easy lunches and dinners for the family and guests. Leftovers can all be frozen for later, or frozen now if they get more than they need. I also add a loaf of crusty bread or sandwich bread. Other helping hints: disposable plates, napkins, glasses and cups, drinks like juice, water, soda, beer or wine. I try to get this to the family immediately, not waiting for the day of the funeral.
PerkyMac at 3:02PM on 11/08/07
I took a classic tuna casserole to a funeral once. I went classic comfort food down to the potato chips on top. As I handed it to the bereived who took one look at it and promptly burst in heaving sobs. Apparently I had brought the one thing the deceased knew how to cook.
kitchenbea at 3:46PM on 11/08/07
PerkyMac, I need that Thanksgiving Casserole. I have a friend who needs to take food to a funeral and who is always, ALWAYS looking for casserole recipes. Do you mind posting the recipe?
Ann Fisher at 3:55PM on 11/08/07
A great book on the subject is "Being Dead Is No Excuse" which includes some wonderful tried-and-true comfort-food recipes traditional to the authors' part of the South. Healthy recipes? Uh-uh, but the sort of food that is always well received by often overwhelmed families. As a sidenote, I always found it interesting how one woman (and it's usually a woman), or maybe two, will take charge of the kitchen, thus giving the family time to deal with visitors. (I'm never one of those.)
hatlady at 4:47PM on 11/08/07
Casserole's tend to rule our family funerals. However we tend to avoid them as we are normally recovering from drinking massive amounts of irish whisky the night before.
bravian at 4:55PM on 11/08/07
Bringing food to the grieving family is part of the Jewish tradition of mourning. In my experience someone takes the initiative to put a "sign up sheet" in the kitchen and when people come to the home they assign themselves a specific meal - or more than one - in the seven days following the death. From what I remember (it's been awhile) it tends to be catered meals or people buy/make parts of meals - baking, etc. More info on the custom is here.
CanadianFoodieGirl at 5:10PM on 11/08/07
Family sized chicken pot pies. Pre-baked so all you have to do is reheat. And I will send along reheating instructions to make it as easy as possible.
lexophile at 5:15PM on 11/08/07
My mom ran a small catering company and used to joke that she specialized in funeral food. A lot of lasagnas and finger shandwiches - which always included ham salad sandwiches. We never eat ham salad any other time.
SSMom at 6:10PM on 11/08/07
I'm a Southern girl, raised Baptist. It is a running joke that Southern Baptists do nothing without food present, including mourn. When someone dies, we usually feed their entire family for several days, including a meal after the funeral. Virtually everyone has their "funeral specialty" - casserole, ham, spaghetti, various "salads" (anything w/3+ ingredients, served cold). My granny is prone to bringing tubs of KFC. We are also prone to cooking for people who are ill or on bedrest during pregnancy or recently had a baby. We can pretty much expect a "sign-up" sheet to be passed at Bible study most weeks for these things. Funerals, being more sudden, tend to be very much "pot-luck"... as in, you hope you are lucky enough that there is enough food & it is not all watered-down spaghetti!
KitchenHawk at 10:31PM on 11/08/07
bravian, that's the kind I want for myself... a big, rowdy, drunken Irish wake!
Another thing that's nice, especially if you don't have time to cook, is a big basket of long-lasting fruits (i.e., oranges, apples). Quick snack, nice reprieve from all the baked sweets and heavy comfort foods.
I also know someone who always hires a cleaning service for the family (she doesn't cook, at all).
LoCo at 1:59AM on 11/09/07
I always try to bring a casserole dish of comfort but common food. If its a large family, I always stop by a barbque place and pick up a meat tray, sauces, buns/sandwich bread, pickles, etc etc....make up a big bowl of potatoe salad, green salad, and a dessert, plates, napkins, plastic forks, freezer bags. If its a sudden thing, I pick up paper towels, toilet paper, plastic wraps, freezer bags, bottle of mayo, keptchup, mustard and hot sauce, ppr plates, trash bags, and bottled water, and several 2 litter sodas. If you dont know what to bring, remember, you just being there is the most important thing.
sweetlilmagnolia at 3:56PM on 11/09/07
Thanksgiving casserole isn't really a recipe - it's layered cooked food that only needs reheating. I roast a turkey breast with about a cup of broth in the pan, make gravy with additional boxed broth and layer the slices and gravy on the bottom of a disposable pan, cover with cooked standard stuffing that I make and roast with the turkey, make traditional green bean casserole (I use Hanover frozen petite whole beans and steam for a couple of minutes before adding cream of mushroom soup & milk, and then top with canned french fried onions. I've substituted broccoli/cheese casserole, added a layer of sweet potatoes - again, using what I have available. I ALWAYS have frozen turkey breasts in my freezer, bought when they're on sale, usually buy 1 get 1. There's never a bite left. Not gourmet by any stretch of the imagination, but always a winner.
PerkyMac at 4:09PM on 11/09/07
Thanks PerkyMac!
Ann Fisher at 7:00AM on 11/10/07
I usually bring beverages -- a few cases of soda maybe some bottled water and depending on the family --beer or wine. It is amazing how much company people have following the loss of a family member -- this is one less thing to worry about.
On a strange note... a dear friend of mine lost a sibling and when I called to ask if there was anything specific she needed she told me toilet paper and kleenex. Lots of visitors = paper product shortage.
lakeloverhh at 3:41PM on 11/14/07
After my grandfather died I was so relieved that someone brought a big raw veggie tray. I was not up for anything heavy (like the casseroles described, that sound super yummy to me at any other time) but I had to get some food into me to avoid passing out. I munched on a few red pepper strips, broccoli spears and carrots and thought to myself-I should remember this for when someone I know needs help at a rough time.
psychsarah at 12:30PM on 01/30/08