What can't you cook?
I am fairly accomplished in the kitchen, I think, and my crabcakes are renowned throughout my apartment. On the other hand, I can't cook flatfish for beans. I don't want fish advice here, I want to know what you consistently screw up yourself.
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40 Comments:
Pizza on the grill. :-(
dksbook at 4:10PM on 09/08/07
Phylo in any phorm phrightens me.
czken at 4:33PM on 09/08/07
My fried chicken has never turned out the way I wanted, just always seems to miss the mark despite trying many different methods - crust falls off, chicken doesn't get done before burning, not very flavorful, etc. I don't eat fried chicken very often, but every once in a while I get a craving for it, and KFC will never do (yuck).
erinlovestoeat at 5:22PM on 09/08/07
anything that classifies as dessert. I cannot make/bake to save my soul. I hate dessert so I just never learned
choc_puddin at 6:03PM on 09/08/07
I can cook, I can bake, but my French fries are an embarassment. (That's why tonight I'm making Nathan's frozen crinkle cut !)
Mich23 at 7:19PM on 09/08/07
Choc_puddin hates dessert? I'm shocked! ;-)
Barbara Hanson at 7:36PM on 09/08/07
Any yeast based bread product
JEP at 8:57PM on 09/08/07
I have tried for years to make a good marinara sauce, like I ate in Italy. I've varied everything I can think of, and am reduced to considering the quality of water, which I also suspect of making my pasta less than excellent, as it was in Italy.
TikiPundit at 9:08PM on 09/08/07
I am also incapable of making a decent marinara. I've never been to Italy so I'll take TikiPundit's word for it and will blame the water for my failures. :)
AuntJone at 10:39PM on 09/08/07
choc puddin has no sweet tooth apart from fruit and the odd sorbet ^^
choc_puddin at 5:14AM on 09/09/07
Decent, southern-style biscuits from scratch. Love 'em greatly, but those ladies don't measure anything, and never wrote it down. Drives me bonkers.
LunaPierCook at 8:11AM on 09/09/07
Pie crust!
play-with-food at 8:19AM on 09/09/07
Deep fried anything. Though to be fair, I haven't tried in 30 years. In college, I made an Indian dinner that was meant to include puri, those little breads that puff up in oil. I got a dozen greasy little hockey pucks, and haven't hit the fryer since.
maggiesara at 3:12PM on 09/09/07
I thought I did a decent Lindy's style cheese cake until my 10 year old made one that was perfect. He lords it over me to this day that I have him make them when I want to bring one.
exvaxman at 8:59PM on 09/09/07
grilled cheese :( I somehow manage to get the bread to stick to a non stick pan.
hammondcheese at 9:35PM on 09/09/07
Rice 'r' Roni. My mother used to use it all the time growing up, and I never did master whatever basic art is required to make it. Burnt, undercooked, watery... Shameful, I know. I don't know who was more surprised at home when I successfully started my home cooking/baking career with yeast bread making. That's easy - rice 'r' roni is not.
Peasantwench at 12:33AM on 09/10/07
I used to think I couldn't bake shortbread, but last night I actually got it right -- even using agave nectar instead of sugar! Otherwise, I'm still working on naan bread. Must be that I don't have a tandoori oven.
hereandthe at 9:04AM on 09/10/07
God help me, I can't cook rice to save my life!
Ridiculous, but true.
cupcake girl at 11:44AM on 09/10/07
microwave popcorn, but it's probably for the best
Cary at 12:48PM on 09/10/07
I can't make gnocchi by hand. I've tried it twice, and produced something inedible twice. That wouldn't be so bad if it didn't take two hours each time.
Buckethead at 2:40PM on 09/10/07
Poached eggs always give me trouble! They fall apart, are too runny or too hard. Mostly they fall apart. I've tried vinegar, salt, swirling the water, even (gasp!) the plastic wrap trick, and nothing has ever come even close to perfect.
eatnutmeg at 4:39PM on 09/10/07
I can't make a proper French omelette. I've watched Jacques Pepin do it a hundred times, and I can't copy him. Always winds up looking like scrambled eggs that were fused together in some horrible mad scientist's experiment.
spanklin at 4:40PM on 09/10/07
Rice! I always make a mess.
Christina at 6:31PM on 09/10/07
Omelettes in any form - French or otherwise.
Thank god my boyfriend makes awesome omelettes!!!
charm city cupcake at 6:36PM on 09/10/07
can. not. fry. chicken.
danamo at 10:30PM on 09/10/07
I can't cook a proper turkey. Chicken, no prob. Cornish Hen , no prob, any other poultry, no prob, just not turkey....dunno. Maybe because it is just so darn big and the breast is so darn HUGE!
I can cook anything else.
Vlntchr at 1:33AM on 09/11/07
Count me in with the No Rice group. I finally gave up and bought a rice cooker and it is the best little appliance since the stick blender.
Calichef at 2:15AM on 09/11/07
I can't for the life of me cook an over easy egg. I love those things on rare occasions, so I reserve them for diners that always seem to be able to do it without ending up with scrambled eggs
huney_bumper at 12:23PM on 09/11/07
I will second (or I think third) the omelette comment. I can't seem to flip them right, so I don't bother trying anymore. I just stick to scrambled eggs unless I'm at a restaurant!
psychsarah at 12:40PM on 09/11/07
onion rings. i love them, but they always come out greasy, and loose their crispness after 5 minutes, and the coating falls off. help!
protest at 1:18PM on 09/11/07
rice is probably the easiest thing to cook, use a small heavy pot, put 1 cup rice and 1 1/2 cups water in the pot, bring to a boil, turn the heat down to as low as it will go, put the lid on the pot and set a timer for 30 minutes. fluff it with a fork and eat. i sometimes add a tablespoon of chicken base to the water before it begins to boil. as far as stuff that i can't ever seem to get right......watermelon wine.
olddad at 1:39PM on 09/11/07
I can't deep fry anything. I guess it's fear of high temps or something ... everything I try is greasy and heavy ... blech.
Lowter at 3:46PM on 09/11/07
Agree with omelettes and over easy eggs. I don't even attempt to flip eggs. I wouldn't be able to do poached either except I have this handy-dandy egg poacher pan insert thing that has been handed down and is probably 60+ years old. Not truly poached because the eggs don't go in the water, they are just steamed above it, but hey, it works.
Jeana at 5:31PM on 09/11/07
My biggest problem comes from the "seasoning" issue. My mom didn't add a lot of salt to meals, so .. as a consequence niether do I. I always have to have someone else try it and re-season.
IhavaKnif at 9:11AM on 09/12/07
pizza crust :(
GreenValley at 1:59PM on 09/12/07
Add me to the deep fry and can. not. fry. chicken. bunch -- a definite matched pair. Usually end up with burned-and-yet-undercooked chicken. So sad because I LOVE good fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy.
hatlady at 5:00PM on 09/12/07
i can't deep-fry -- i've a fear of splattering hot oil!
onedaylingers at 10:23PM on 09/12/07
Omelets OR scrambled eggs! I end up with some strange mix of the two, mostly because I don't like the texture of scrambled eggs and yet I can't make an omelet. Maybe I'll call them scramlets.
Christina at 11:38PM on 09/12/07
Tons. You'd think that with a culinary degree I'd be pretty good, but I still flail around in the kitchen like it's my first time at the stove. At least I'm always having a good time...
sawyerriley at 4:45PM on 09/13/07
OMG! There are other RICE CHALLENGED people! ((Hugs)) to you all. My rice always comes out like joint compound no matter what I do. I make an excellent risotto and excellent fried rice (with someone else's rice or leftover white rice from the Chinese restaurant). I can glove bone a turkey with a paring knife. I can't make rice.
Feels so great to see others!! I don't feel like such a dweeb anymore.
Chiffy
chiff0nade at 11:18AM on 09/14/07