Is it just me, or is Guy Fieri the worst thing to happen to The Food Network since Sandra Lee? Have we really traded Batali for this clown? Sushi and barbecue? Johnny Garlic's? Tex Wasabi’s? Johnny Garlic's what? Tex Wasabi's what?

Bleach the hair and the beard, or better yet, don't bleach anything.

As Frank Zappa would say, "unbridled buffoonery".