Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

I hate hovering, but I also hate when they disappear and you never see them again. I think the worst is when you're trying to get their attention and they're standing in the corner gabbing with their friends-fellow servers. At that point no one's getting anything done.

The biggest turnoff for me is when a server realizes neither I nor my husband is going to order any drinks and decides right then and there that we aren't worth their time. (I rarely drink for several health reasons, and my husband never touches alcohol because his maternal grandfather was a terrible drunk.) I realize that alcohol adds quite a bit to the bill, generally, but my husband and I aren't cheapskates--we tend to order expensive items on the menu, and we always tip very generously (over 20 percent, normally). It just ruins the experience to get the brush-off like that.

Admit it when you simply don't know the answer to something. Ask before you make suggestions and never, never attempt to "up the check" by making more expensive recommendations. And always ask if your clients have eaten at the restaurant previously. People like you to know that come frequently when that's the case. And, be good natured, even when you are about to "fall into the weeds."

Be friendly, the worst that you can do is to make someone feel as though they are not wanted in the restauarant. Try your hardest, if you are in the weeds then be honest and do the best that you can. Hopefully they will see you are working hard.

I also don't like it when a server would ask "Are you finished working on that?". It is pretty common to hear now but it sounds much more polite to ask if they are finished or if you may take plates. Making a customer feel as though you respect them and are grateful that they are giving you their business, is the key to happy people and great tips.

Also, if you have a bad tipper or an angry person, don't let it spoil your night. Maybe they are just awful people, but maybe they have something horrible going on in their life where they are not able to act like a normal human being. Just be grateful that you are not in their position, remain good-natured and kind, and this bit of compassion will come back to you ten-fold.

That is what I have learned in my tenure as a server. Have fun!

I hate being rushed. I hate when waitstaff decides to press at you. If I am not ready to order take a hint and come back in 3 minutes.

Personal hygiene! If the hair is greasy and the uniform wrinkly I get the vibe you don't care. I want clean lookng people handling my food.

Be willing to stand near our table and see if we need you but don't hen over us. There was this diner and my fav waitress who knew everything I wanted and how I wanted it would hen. She was bright and sunny and personable but she hovered. I let her do it because she was fantastic at her job. But my thought is walk by slowly and if no one engages your eyes you got your answer.

Knowing what is on the menu, nothing tees me off more than asking your server a question and they say wow let me ask. When the menu comes out you should have read it and asked your questions then.

Huge one do not serve anyone till everyone's food is ready. This has happened so often to me that I now flip out. If my steak is done and some one else's is not why would you bring food for one. Ignorant.

Forgeting things, small things like steak knifes, crab crackers, condiments, cutlery, butter etc. I am a firm believer in educating your serving staff. If the special of the day needs butter make sure they have it. Don't make me beg for tartar sauce, cocktail sauce, butter, ketchup, steak sauce. When I feed my family I know what condiments go with what food, so should you, it is your job.

Taste the food you are serving. Eat there. I liked it when a restaurant owner would add something to the menu and then sit the wait staffdown and let them taste it. This is just smart sense. If I want to know if something is spicy I don't want to wait for you to go ask. Why have you not tasted it. When I ask I want you to say, yes it is spicy and I really liked it or I don't like spicy food myself but most of my customers love that dish.

Don't go overboard on enthusiasm like the the "pieces of flair" thing, that is just annoying.

#1 Peeve: If the diner places used silverware onto their plate DO NOT move said silverware back onto the table. Clear it as you clear the plate and replace it promptly. This drives me nuts!

The problem is that in many cases they don't know how to do their job. If they did, there would not be a ton of dos and donts posted here.

Actually, the service expectations commiserates with the type of restaurant and is also subjective. I am not getting that attentive service at my favorite rib joint, that I will get at Le Bernardin, who's service is more of a more noticable orchestrated performance.

If you want to know what flawless service is like on a perfect day...Go to Jean Georges and eat there. Wow! They had ESP. Actually they are just very discreet with their attentiveness. They watch from a distance and can see when glasses get half empty and ALL diners at a table are finished.

If your guests feel good when they are leaving, You have done a great job....BRAVO to al those extremely hard working individuals who have made me feel fabulous!

:)

With all said and done, what is the name and location of that fairly chic Mediterranean-inspired restaurant ? I have a craving for some grilled octopus and roasted lamb tonight.

Mr. K- it's Mediterraneo in...New Jersey. We do have grilled octopus as well as lamb. And thanks for the advice everyone. Dining is certainly a subjective experience, so there are bound to be different opinions.