If you sat around naming all the bitter ingredients in your liquor cabinet, you might come close to the formula for this Anti-Valentine's Day tipple. Eeyore's Requiem, invented by Toby Maloney of Chicago's Violet Hour, starts with Campari, then adds a dose of barrel-aged Fernet Branca, which is made with gentian, chamomile, bitter orange, myhrr, and saffron, among other things. Not bitter enough for your cynical heart? Maloney takes your Fernet and your Campari and raises you a quarter ounce of artichoke-and-herb based Cynar. Take that, Valentine's day.