If you missed it on Friday, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon invented a new dubious sport—noncompetitive eating: It's time to do away with competition and selfishness. It's time to stop competing with our fellow eaters and start feeding them instead. That's why tonight we're proud to introduce a brand new sport, the sport of noncompetitive eating. We've got some great gurgitators here tonight. Let's welcome our first two competitors, ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Crazy Legs Conti and the great Tim "Eater X" Janus. How does noncompetitive eating work? Eaters have to feed each other. In the first bit, Conti and Janus go at it with hot dogs. In a second bit, it becomes a three-way, with...
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Here Lies Hope, Half-Eaten on a Plate No matter who wins the presidency later this year, our country is doomed. That's because it's filled with people who see fit to auction off the remnants of a candidate's breakfast on eBay. In this case, a leftover bite or two of sausage and a little more than a quarter waffle abandoned by Senator Barack Obama at the Glider Diner in Scranton, Pennsylvania. But, Adam, you'll say, it's only one auction. One wayward American among many millions. Yeah? Well, as of 12:30 p.m. today, 23 morons have bid this thing up to $76. [via MenuPages Blog]"I like Ike" pin from the '52 election. I remember looking at it and the other pins she...
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