'The Onion' on Serious Eats

Probably Something to Be Thankful For

From the Onion: "AUBURN, WA—James Stallard, 29, experienced feelings of profound loneliness and alienation Monday upon discovering that his home lay just outside the delivery zones of two nearby Domino's Pizza franchises. 'I am invisible, a nonexistent entity in the eyes of Domino's,' Stallard uttered while staring blankly out his third-story window...."... More

Delicious Products from Yu Wan Mei

yuwanmei.com What's the best thing about satirical newspaper The Onion being sold to the Chinese? That "It's fish time!" according to Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Polymer Injection Group. Poking around Yu Wan Mei's website uncovers many gems, such as their promotional video, a glorious company history, and—my favorite—a line of unique products featuring Taste Stick, Yu Wan Mei Miscellaneous Flavor Paste, and Yum-E-Freez Eel Milk, among other questionably useful items.... More

Video: ‘Taco Bell’s New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature,’ from The Onion

On The Onion’s morning news show video spoof “Today Now,” there’s a feature on Taco Bell’s new “100% Green Menu.” What makes it all green, you ask? None of the ingredients are taken from nature—so there’s zero environmental impact! “After all,” the fast food rep reminds us, “at Taco Bell, we have a long tradition of taking as little as possible from the natural world!” The video, after the jump.... More

Video: Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals for America After Visiting Denny's

President Barack Obama had such high hopes for America...until he went to Denny's. Now he's aiming less for being a world leader and setting more reasonable goals for the American people: Before we reclaim global leadership, we must first stop eating six sausages and a pound of eggs covered in syrup for breakfast, and we must stop leaving the house in sweatpants. Is he asking for too much? Would you be willing to give up your mountainous plate of syrup-drenched sausages and eggs? Only time will tell. Watch the video after the jump.... More

Dad Tests Limits Of a Cheesecake Factory Vibrating Pager

From the Onion: "..'I don't want to take it too close to the Best Buy, though, because all that electronic stuff in there might screw it up.' At press time, Reardon's wife and children were finishing their appetizers while Reardon was still trying to find a way to get off the roof of an Old Navy a quarter of a mile away."... More

'People Like Food'

The Onion: "And, when you really think about it, there's a lot to like about food. It tastes good and it's good to eat. That's all I can think of for now, but those two things alone make me like food. Furthermore, I just thought of something else: Food is probably the healthiest and best thing to put in your mouth. You can ask a doctor about that." [via Howard]... More

L'Asso Pizza Guide in Next Week's 'Onion'

If you're not into the habit of picking up the Onion satirical newspaper, here's a reason next week. From an email we just got from the folks at L'Asso: The L'asso Pizza Guide—the definitive guide to pizza—will be carried as a NYC Onion insert (10/9/2008). The guide is a humorous and informational guide to pizza—from its humble beginnings in ancient times to its current incarnation as one of the world's favorite foods. It's been a year in the making!The one-of-a-kind guide chews on the anthropological aspects of pizza (Are you a dutiful dabber, a hi-fi folder, or a spicy sprinkler?),... More

New Fork Adds Flavor of Ham to Every Meal

If you wish that everything could be infused with the taste of smoky pork, the Hamork is for you. It's the ham-flavored fork that contains flavor "from tip to prong," reports Onion Radio News. Next up: vanilla-flavored spoons for desserts and potato-flavored steak knives.... More

Entire Refrigerator Rearranged To Accommodate Leftover KFC Bucket

The Onion The Onion reports that local man Jeremy Browning attempted to fit a nearly empty KFC bucket into his fridge by lowering the top shelf, transferring food items to the freezer, drinking half of a two-liter bottle of Pepsi, and filling the dairy compartment with smaller food items, like half a lime and a Ziploc bag of ground beef. Asked if there was ever a point during the reorganization of his refrigerator when he considered discarding the bucket and wrapping the remaining pieces of chicken in aluminum foil, Browning told reporters, "No."... More

In Videos: Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelet' From Recipe That Came To Him In A Dream

Chef Adam Scott demonstrates how to make an omelet. But not just any omelet—a Dream Omelet. Unlike a regular omelet, this one requires a shoehorn for cutting butter, eggs with "WW2" written on the shells, Robin Williams, lemons that turn into tomatoes, a dolphin, and some other things that have nothing to do with typical omelet-making. Watch the video after the jump to learn how to make this in your own kitchen! Or not.... More

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