'McSweeney's' on Serious Eats

As Imagined: 'Pole Dancing with Paula Deen, Y'all!'

[Photograph: pauladeen.com] The latest installment of McSweeney's "Short Imagined Monologues" series gives us an idea of what a pole-dancing lesson with Paula Deen might be like: OK now, you're going to grab on to your pole about head-height, swing yourselves out and WRAP your body around the pole—that's right, just wrap yourself around it like a slice of bacon 'round an ear of sweet corn. Good, y'all! Now kick up that outside leg and float around to the ground ... nice and light, just like you're folding mayonnaise into sour cream. That's it! Related Mixed Review: Paula Deen's Sweet Potato Biscuits Paula Deen's Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cakes Paula Deen is Trying to Kill Us, Parts 1, 2, 3, 4,... More

Next Issue of McSweeney's To Feature Mega-Food Section

[Image: McSweeney's] Literary journal McSweeney's is usually published as a book, but their next issue, #33, will be in the form of a broadsheet-sized, Sunday edition newspaper called San Francisco Panorama. Like other newspapers, it will include timely news, arts and sports coverage, comics, a magazine, and—most importantly for us—a food section. In their words: ...possibly, seriously, the best food section that has ever appeared in any newspaper anywhere, with an incredible modular ramen recipe from New York's own David Chang and a fifty-eight-step lamb-belly photo essay from San Francisco's Ryan Farr. The issue will be available next month.... More

What Would You Do?

McSweeney's Internet Tendency has a silly item that riffs on the "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" ad campaign: "Ethical Dilemmas Involving Klondike Bars." Example: You operate an orphanage and your funding has just been slashed. Kids are now going without dessert. Your friend owns a grocery store and is willing to donate 500 Klondike bars to the orphans if you lie and tell the government that he donated 1,000. What would you do-o-o? I was a little disappointed that there was no scenario involving a terrorist, his baby, a crowded stadium with a bomb planted in it, and a Klondike Bar. [via The Morning News; photograph: klondikebar.com]... More

'SerendipiTea's New Line of Workplace Teas'

From a short little list on McSweeney's Internet Tendency: "FutiliTea: Really, there's so little you could actually accomplish. Plus, it's only a matter of time before you're laid off. Why stress? One hundred percent valerian!" [via Coldmud]... More

Self-Reflection by the Cookie Monster

The Cookie Monster searches deep within himself and wonders if he's a monster: "Me too hard on self. Me no have unhealthy obsession. Me love cookies, but it no hurt anyone. Me just enthusiast. Everyone has something they like most, something they get excited about. Why not me? Me perfectly normal. Me like cookies. So what? Cookies delicious." [via kottke]... More

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