"We can attest to Hog Island's oysters being delectably plump, thoroughly slurpable, and downright delicious." Oysters are dastardly creatures. You think they're innocent—sitting there on their bed of ice waiting to be shucked and devoured—and then your finger slips and before you know it, you've got a gash so deep it needs stitches. Only you just got to the farm and you're hungry, and if the oysters think you're giving up, they can think again! You slap a bandage on your mutilated finger and keep going, but by then you're bleeding so profusely that no one wants to eat your iron-laced oysters. So you pass the shucking knife and glove to someone else. And so it came to be that...
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