"They're even worse than normal muffin bottoms." [Photographs: Robyn Lee] Nothing about Eggo Mini Muffin Tops are right. Though adorable at first—because the only thing cuter than muffin tops are mini muffin tops—they fail at life. Flat and poof-less, they're not even trying hard to be authentic muffin humps. Stick with the left side. The four stuck-together "tops" come in both blueberry and chocolate-chip varieties. Waiting for them, you smell that familiar Eggo aroma and think, how bad can toasted, not especially healthy breakfast treats be? "Best Part of the Muffin," advertises the box. So true, you think, recalling the famous Seinfeld episode when "Top of the Muffin To You" dumps all the rejected stumps in front of the homeless...
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Remember these guys? Of course you do. There may well be a box stuffed in the back of your freezer—even if it’s been there since 1994. Back in my freezer-breakfast days, Eggo made one thing: waffles. And they looked just like this. (Except for the Guitar Hero ad.) But these days, the supermarket Eggo section is stocked with unfamiliar specimens. Eggo Toaster Cinnamon Rolls? French Toaster Sticks? Bake Shop Swirlz? Mini Muffin Tops? The waffles are just one box among many. As much as Eggo evolves, though, some things never change: Everything is compact and toaster-ready, and everything comes in a cheery yellow box. So how do these newfangled Eggos stack up? Cinnamon Roll Minis Four to a waffle-sized...
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