How to Be a Wine Snob
Wine snobs—you can spot 'em a mile away: that look of deep concentration as they swirl their glass for a good measure, that thoughtful gaze that crosses their face as they take a sip, and then the look of concentration as they purse their lips, grasping to create flowy phrases using words like "acidic," "rustic," and "full-bodied." Well, the rest of us common folk can join in this elite league too—check out this guide on how to be an alcohol snob. Among the things to keep in mind:
Smell the drink: "If someone ventures their own review as to what it smells like, frown as though you're too busy concentrating on this intense bouquet to interrupt it with stupid words. This automatically gives you the edge, since as a conneisseur you know enough not to discuss anything until the full tasting is over. "
Drink the drink: "Freeze as though your entire body is concentrated upon analyzing this taste in your mouth. Narrow your eyes and look upwards as you pretend to process this beverage, taking your time as you give every impression of savoring the flavor."
Sound advice on faking it it till you make it.
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8 Comments:
Only one problem with his story. As a scotch lover, if you shove your nose into a snifter of scotch and inhale deeply, you're going to kill all of your scent and taste buds for the evening. Drop a few drops of water into the scotch to rehydrate the cells, swirl, and sniff the bouquet over the snifter. Trust me, it smells strong enough!
Varuna77 at 2:51PM on 07/19/08
While I definitely think that wine snobbery can be taken too far, simply appreciating what you are experiencing does not make you a snob. Finding a common language to talk about wine is quite natural - when a group of people go out to a restaurant and someone has chicken that is smoky (maybe the paprika?) using the word smoky just helps everyone understand what you mean. It is the same for wine.
Varuna77 - what do you mean, "rehydrate the cells?"
monkeycat at 2:58PM on 07/19/08
I find this article a little silly. who are these wine snobs and why are the rest of us paranoid about what they will think when we are drinking? While it might be nice to gain some knowledge about wine tasting and the process, if you are uneducated, faking it is not necessary.
spartana07 at 3:05PM on 07/19/08
I appreciate the tongue-firmly-implanted-in-cheek while nose-in-wine-glass humor. Lighten up and smile!
PerkyMac at 4:51PM on 07/19/08
Hahahahahahaha!
Chaos at 5:27PM on 07/19/08
This is awesome. I've tried to do the thing where I throw in keywords like "It has the aroma of blackberry and maybe a little fresh tire tread" or something to mess with people. :-)
cakespy at 7:17PM on 07/20/08
Monkeycat -- At a number of the scotch tastings I've been to, they've talked about the reasons to add a bit of water to your scotch. I'll be honest, I don't quite remember the how of it happening, but somehow in the process of creating scotch, the cells are leached of water and close down, trapping the flavor and the scent in them.
Dropping a few drops of room temperature water, will "rehydrate" them and allow their true flavor and scent to be released. It does work. Try having a bit of scotch without doing it and then add a few drops of water and taste it. I usually use a straw and do about half a strawful, while my husband will actually pour probably a tablespoon or so of water into his scotch.
Varuna77 at 9:50AM on 07/21/08
"I like my wine rich, developed, seductive"
"Sounds like you need a woman! Some people drink wine, some people date!"
-Sinbad, Houseguest (1995)
aaartnaz at 12:48PM on 07/29/08