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Grocery Ninja: Tkemali

Or, 'Still on a Sour Plum Streak'

The Grocery Ninja leaves no aisle unexplored, no jar unopened, no produce untasted. Creep along with her below, and read her past market missions here.

20071218-groceryninja.jpgYou know how most of us have culinary habits that we cleave to? Like my mom would disown me if I ever battered and fried really, really fresh fish—because it would be a "waste." The Chinese, you see, believe fish is best served steamed, a gentle cooking technique that is most unforgiving of mediocrity, with only the most impeccable specimens doing well. There's no hiding in steaming. It's like donning a spandex catsuit; flaws you never imagined break into a song and dance routine.

So I tend to be cautious about appropriating foods from another culture. I mean, you go to a grocery store, you spy something appealing, you bring it home and dig in—it's delicious! A few days later, you're gushing about it to someone, and he clutches you, nearly falling over in pain and indignation. Turns out what you've been doing with the item, how you've been eating it, is the equivalent of eating vanilla pudding on hamburger. Or something horrifying and unorthodox like that.

Conversations with friends tend to go like this:

Me: So, this sour plum sauce Tkemali—you're not attached to it?

Russian Housemate: What do you mean "attached to it"?

Me: I mean, you usually eat it with grilled meats right? As a condiment?

Russian Housemate: Yeah.

Me: So, you won't keel over if I tell you I've been tossing my salads with it? And my pastas? And putting it in my wraps?

Russian Housemate: It's a Georgian sauce. I have no loyalty. Go nuts.

[Note: Friendly readers from Georgia (the republic, not the U.S. state), please don't kill me. Or my Russian housemate. Neither of us can afford the rent alone.]

It's a glorious thing, Tkemali. It's refreshingly tart, slightly sweet, and spicy from being stewed with a mixture of coriander seed, fennel seed, garlic, cayenne, fresh mint, and cilantro. I've been all but glugging the stuff. Turns out there's a saying: "With a Georgian sauce you can swallow nails."

While I won't quite be attacking the toolbox anytime soon, it is very moreish—and a lot more gluggable than ketchup, the condiment it's most often compared to. I confess I came close to pouring it on my sundae last night. And I don't think it would have been a disaster. Quite the opposite, really.

I spotted three varieties at the store—green, red, and redder—made from plums at various stages of ripeness. I had zoomed in on the green one, but I'll be returning for the others soon. Like, in five minutes. Because the one I bought on Friday? It tasted really good with chips, too.

About the author: Wan Yan Ling is an impoverished grad student and sourdough finger-crosser living in Rhode Island. She can usually be found in the kitchen procrastinating on "real work" or online tracking down obscure recipes. Ling thinks eating alone is no fun, and she still believes in hand-mixing.

View other entries from Grocery Ninja.

7 Comments:

That is by far the funniest piece I have read in a while. I totally understand this concept. When I discovered how to make a great authentic teriyaki sauce (11 years ago) we went through the teriyaki everything stages. Noodles, chicken, shrimp, beef, pork, pasta salad, chex mix, baked, salmon, broiled, fried, roasted, bbq; soon people around me were saying please stop this now.

It's like donning a spandex catsuit; flaws you never imagined break into a song and dance routine.

Ha, ha, ha! Great line. :)

I believe that many great recipes are found through mistakes.

Otherwise why on earth would we ever have tried french fries with ketchup?

On a more serious note, if you ever want to read an excellent book (cookbook) on food from the Republic of Georgia, The Georgian Feast by Darra Goldstein rocks. Amazing recipes and cultural notes.

The book won IACP Book of the Year (Julia Child Cookbook Awards) 1993.

Every Georgian dish is a poem.
Alexander Pushkin

JerzeeTomato: Thank you =) One of the quickest, most hassle-free meals I made in college was toaster-oven grilled teriyaki salmon... the return on investment on something so hands-off is through the roof!

Karen Resta: Aye to that! I suspect many of the brilliant food pairings we enjoy now are happy accidents =)
[off topic: can you imagine the guy who came up with temporary glue? i mean... who on earth needs temporary glue? BUT where would we be without post-its today?]

Yes, and Mr. Temporary Glue has probably managed to provide quite well for his children's children who will be able to eat lobster and caviar while doodling pictures of yachts on their post-it notes if they wish, rather than bothering with the more mundane things of life like working for a living. :)

I see opportunity here, Ling.

"Creative Combinations from the Unconventional Cupboard". What a great book that would be. No, forget the book - books are like afterthoughts in today's run run culture-to-make-it. Aim for the gold with a Food TV show. The book can come later. Plus you can probably package up some of the combos in a form like Lunchables and sell them world-wide. I'd call it fusion rather than combo but the word fusion makes me think of a faceless guy winging a light saber around in all directions indiscriminately, stopping now and then to aim at something not seen while shouting out a loud "kia!".

I promise to buy the Unconventional Lunchables and will watch the TV show religiously.

Karen Resta: I love your idea =) Except who would be our target demographic? So many kids are squeamish and so many adults are already dead set about what they like and don't like... I know I'll be lining up just to see what's in the packs!
Unlike your faceless guy take on "fusion" though, I think of a particular Jap place that's painted bright pink, has disco balls and strobes hanging from the ceilings, and cream cheese sushi that come to your table with pretty paper umbrellas. Oh, and fortune cookies at the end of the meal.

Target demographic.

That is a tough one.

I'm pretty sure it would soon be a success if it were advertised in Nickelodeon magazine to start, though. :)

Afterwards it could be featured as a freebie at "Free Food Fridays" at colleges. Soon they would be hooked for good too. As long as some of the combos went well with beer, of course heh heh.

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