I have a few caveats to start this post off with: one, Niki campaigned hard for me to call it "Oscar Noms Noms," which I refuse to do on principle; two, just roll with the puns here, because being forced to come up with clever movie-recipe tie-ins isn't an exact science.
Moving along! I take the Oscars very seriously—it's the only "sporting" event that I place actual cash bets on every year, competing not just for money, but for the glory of year-long bragging rights. And because I also take food very seriously (see my employer), and puns perhaps even more seriously than money and food combined,* the pressure is on to create a truly exceptional pun-themed Oscar menu every year.
*This is not actually true, but food, money, and puns are a close three-way tie for my affections, in case you're taking notes.
So here are my 2014 creations, with very loosely corresponding recipes. Unlike Will's all-hot-dog-all-the-time menu, which was thematically based, mine draws mainly from titular puns, not plot points.
What do you think? What's on your menu this Sunday?
American Mussel: With an appropriately red sauce for this Mob-inflected tale of the American dream gone awry.
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The Waffle of Wall Street: That's right —make a savory waffle, because when you're an unscrupulous finance whiz with money coming out of your every orfice, you live life on the edge.
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Phyllo-mena Cups: A heartwarming tale of a mother searching for her long-lost son deserves a twee snack with a sweet finish. You're welcome.
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Dallas Buyers Club Sandwich: Because if you were given one month to live, wouldn't you want to eat a sandwich stacked high with bacon and mayo?
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Captain Millets: We don't have a ton of millet recipes, but guess what? Neither did Tom Hanks when his ship got taken over by Somali pirates. So make this millet flour zucchini bread and don't ask any more questions.
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12 Years a Slave: Much like Will did with the hot dogs, we're going to leave this one alone.
Pickled Her-ring: Did you hear the one about the sexy-voiced operating system being a real cold fish? Ba-dum-dum. No recipe for this one, just lots of pictures of a Swedish herring festival Robyn went to once.
Baked Nebraska: This Gilded Age dessert is just the ticket when you collect that cool million from Mega Sweepstakes Marketing.
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Gravity-Defying Soufflé: There's nothing lonelier than being lost in space. No one can hear you scream —might as well drown yourself in dessert while you still can.
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