Welcome to Middle-Earth's Diner
Hobbit Hole Breakfast ($5.99)
That's a massive egg-in-a-basket using a cheddar bun along with hash browns and, of course, bacon.
The Ring Burger ($8.49)
Besides the obvious pun, this guy's got a bit going for it. Smashing the burger gives it a decent crust and Denny's is cooking it however you want (although I'm not sure an 18-year-old fry cook can discern medium rare from medium).
Hobbit Slam ($7)
This Shire Sausage (Denny's language) may have been the single biggest surprise of the day—it felt like a quality product that also fit right in with the Hobbit culture
Now that's a sausage
Gandalf's Gobble Melt ($7.49)
If you think Gandalf one to never steer you wrong, then you'd be right. This one isn't particularly Hobbit-influenced, but it does sport the best elements of chain dining: a caricature of a morning after Thanksgiving sandwich with sliced Butterball and packaged stuffing.
BIlbo's Berry Smoothie and Lone-Lands Campfire Cookie Milk Shake ($2.99, $3.79)
Bilbo's smoothie is comparable to any Jamba Juice smoothie; the other, a cookie shake, is okay, but suffers from the same sweetness as everything else on the menu.
Radagast's Pancake Puppies ($1.99)
Essentially deep-fried pancake batter balls served with a side of cream cheese icing for dipping—if they're good enough for Radagast, they're good enough for me!
Pumpkin Pancakes (as served alongside a Grand Slam)
These pan cakes are literally as sweet as pie. If your kid wants ice cream for breakfast, this is a suitable substitute.
Chef Scott Richard speaks on his process
A self-proclaimed Hobbit fan, Richard was very excited to work on the project.
Lonely Mountain Treasure ($2.49)
Because apparently dessert after breakfast is now a thing, you can get more french toast with some creamy dipping sauce.
Frodo's Pot Roast Skillet ($8.99)
A re-appropriation of a signature dinner item, this skillet puts chunks of beef stew-like pot roast on top of some hash browns and veggies and calls it a day.
Dwarves' Turkey & Dressing Dinner ($7.59)
Well, A+ for correct grammar. There really is nothing more to this than generic precooked turkey and definitely packaged stuffing. They didn't think to give some gigantic roast turkey leg? I'm sure Thorin crushes those like hot wings...
Tucked at the top of the menu...
...the attention to detail would impress Tolkien himself.
Riches and Wonders
Rich indeed, with all the cornerstones of a delicious breakfast.
Can you translate this?
It's apparently dwarfish.