Slideshow: We Try Every Species of Goldfish

Cheddar
Cheddar
You probably think of these as plain or original goldfish, but Original is actually a different bag. This is cheddar, and they are great. Seriously, who doesn't like these? They're truly cheesy and legitimately tangy on the tastebuds. Isn't it fun to stuff them in your mouth and chew them into a creamy cheesy goop? Ben and his brother Jonathan take issue with their marketplace dominance over other as delicious flavors, which is true, but that's really the only bad thing you could say about them.
Goldfish Colors
Goldfish Colors
A familiar food in an unfamiliar color? Are we supposed to like this? Reminds me of green ketchup. The issue here, though, goes beyond being weirded out: these dyed Cheddar Goldfish actually taste different. Props to Pepperidge Farm for using beets and other vegetables to color these red and green goldfish. Shame on Pepperidge Farm for making them taste like beets and other vegetables.
Cheddar made with Whole Grain
Cheddar made with Whole Grain
They're not lying about the whole grain, which means these are chewier and somehow less satisfying, with a distinct whole wheat aftertaste. They're still full of that salty cheddar flavor though, and would definitely be a good snack for kids (although a quick look at the nutrition facts proves that these pack some not-so-whole-grain too).
Pretzel
Pretzel
Pretzels shaped like fish. These are great. Really, they are a solid option in the pretzel family, with a satisfying surface area and size compared to what you get in a bag of thin pretzels.
Parmesan
Parmesan
A great cracker with a real nutty, proper parmesan taste. Truly, it should be as popular as cheddar, because it just might be better.
Pizza
Pizza
These should be gross, because it's kind of embarrassing for us to like a non-pizza item that is "pizza-flavored". But they are delicious! You can really taste the oregano, tomato, and cheese. These are Ben's absolute favorite.
Space Adventures
Space Adventures
More dyed Cheddar Goldfish, this time in space shapes. The fun shapes make up for the funny colors, and they're Leandra's favorite.
Flavor Blasted Xtra Cheddar
Flavor Blasted Xtra Cheddar
The "Flavor Blasted" Goldfish are basically Goldfish Doritos: the same cracker, dusted in dehydrated flakes of flavoring. As Ben points out, flavor-blasting ruins Goldfish's standing as a healthier (baked!) snack food, and doesn't make them tastier anyway. Pass.
Flavor Blasted Xplosive Pizza
Flavor Blasted Xplosive Pizza
Also not an improvement on the regular Pizza. As Jonathan noted, unattractive packaging further makes the Blasted line a stain on Goldfish's good name.
Flavor Blasted Wild White Cheddar
Flavor Blasted Wild White Cheddar
More blasting, more complaints: the flavoring on all the Flavor Blasted (say that five times fast!) leaves residue on your fingers, and that is so not the point of Goldfish (the point being, eat a whole bag of snacks without leaving anything you touch greasy or gritty).
Mix Up Adventures
Mix Up Adventures
This bag of Mix Up Adventures is half Pretzel Goldfish, half Flavor Blasted Cheddar. In spite of the blast, this bag isn't bad at all: the pretzel acts as a sort of neutralizer for the flavoring, making for a decent mouthful (but, still, a greasy hand).
Mix Up Adventures Xtra Cheesy Pizza
Mix Up Adventures Xtra Cheesy Pizza
This bag is another mix, between regular Parmesan goldfish and Xplosive Pizza. These are also preferable to a fully Flavor Blasted bag, and a palmful thrown in the mouth really does taste like pizza.
Grahams Fudge Brownie
Grahams Fudge Brownie
Tasty, with a great graham cookie texture, but could be more chocolate-y.
Grahams Cookies & Cream
Grahams Cookies & Cream
These are basically the chocolate grahams mixed with the vanilla cupcake ones...which is a pretty great thing, when you pop them all at once and let the sugar mix with the cocoa.
Grahams Chocolate Chip
Grahams Chocolate Chip
A super crunchy, slightly less sweet, and very tiny chocolate chip cookie (which is great, because you can convince yourself that you're not eating a cookie).