I knew this week was going to be a rough one on my caloric journey, but I had no idea how rough.
Last weekend I decided to do a solo taste test of every Häagen-Dazs flavor out there. I tried to eat only one spoonful of each variety, but I ended up eating two pints of Dulce de Leche, by myself. Where were my wife and son when I needed them most?
Then on Monday we decided to taste every Ben and Jerry's flavor on the market. Again I tried the Julia Child method of eating everything in moderation, but since half the tasters called in sick, that was hard to do. So I ended up eating two whole pints of the new Late Night flavor all by myself. I don't know what came over me. I do like salty and sweet ice creams, though. Don't you, serious eaters?
Believe it or not my week got worse from there.
On Tuesday I took my son to M Wells to try the burger one more time. After I ordered it my son announced that he was no longer eating red meat. Now he tells me. I was so annoyed I ended up eating all 40 ounces of that burger by myself. (I did skip the onion rings, so I was more than a little proud of that.)
Wednesday we ordered an upside-down Sicilian pie from Pizza Suprema at the office. I vowed to eat a single slice, but I ended up having four instead. I was really hungry.
Then last night Locanda Verde's chef Andrew Carmellini invited us to be guinea pigs for his spring lamb feast, Lambarama. I said yes even though it was a Thursday, because I really love Carmellini's cooking, and he sent over the menu in advance, and boy did it sound good.
He pulled out all the stops, lamb-wise, and made 12 courses of lamb along with one sheep's milk ricotta panna cotta dessert prepared by Locanda Verde's extraordinary pastry chef Karen DeMasco. I tried to eat only one bite of each lamb dish, but there were 12 of them. What's a lamb-loving serious eater supposed to do? Damn you, Carmellini.
I'll admit it. Interim weigh-ins have been problematic. On Wednesday I thought I had broken my beloved Thinner. Well, I might as well get to it. Here we go: 265. Up more than 40 pounds since last week. I ask you, Simon: could one bad week wreak such havoc with my caloric journey? Maybe it's time to return to my serious diet.