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Recap: Top Chef DC, Episode 4

Another week, another episode of Top Chef! There was a double elimination this week, which was fine by me since I still have no idea who half of these people are. In other news, Kenny was still pissed off, Angelo was still cocky, and Andrea's hair was still crispy. So, who made the cut? Who didn't? And more importantly, why the hell does Padma have a tacky snakeskin pouch sewn to her shirt? It's all ahead in this week's recap!

[Warning: Spoilers ahead!]

The Quickfire

This week, the chefs had to prepare an adult dish for Tom and Padma, along with a baby-friendly purée version in honor of their newborns. Lynne and Alex freaked out, because they "never fed children" before. So what? I've never fed a 90 year old before. That doesn't mean I don't know how to put a prune on a fork. Suck it up, guys.

Padma told the crew that it would be a high stakes quickfire, and that the winners would each receive $10,000. Arnold said he'd give the money to an orphanage. I'm so sure. Alex, on the other hand, said he'd buy something nice for himself, namely "a hooker and an 8-ball." Yeah. That sounds like a great plan. Maybe he should just cut to the chase and buy himself some Valtrex and a good lawyer instead.

Kenny, Kevin, and Angelo got right down to business, and felt confident with the challenge because they raised children in the past. Amanda, on the other hand, seemed distant and lost in thought:

Tom hated Tim's overcooked lamb, and Padma hated the pool of nasty blood under Kevin's duck breast. However, Kelly was the worst performer. She left a lemon seed in her baby purée, which caused Padma to make a face I had previously seen on Renée Zellweger:

Ultimately, Kenny and Tamesha won the challenge. Kenny made a curried chicken with confit of butternut squash, and Tamesha made a salmon with vegetable chowder and licorice oil. They were each awarded $10,000 (or as Tamesha said, "Holy shitballs! Ten thousand dollars!") Holy shitballs indeed!

Elimination Challenge

Sigh. Another dreaded group challenge! This week, the chefs had to pair up and create new signature menu dishes for the Hilton hotel chain. The judges were Mike Isabella and Bryan Voltaggio from Top Chef seasons 6, and Spike Mendelsohn from Top Chef season 4. Bryan Voltaggio even cracked a smile, which I think is one of the signs of the Apocalypse. Don't quote me on that, though.

The chefs paired themselves together as follows: Arnold and Lynne, Kelly and Andrea, Kenny and Kevin, Alex and Ed, Angelo and Tamesha, and Stephen and Amanda. No one wanted to team with Stephen or Amanda, so they were placed together by default. (Yes. It's okay to laugh at that.) There were three rounds of competition: breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Fast forward 25 boring minutes of Angelo awkwardly hitting on Tamesha, and Kenny complaining about how "pissed off" he was about... well... everything, and the cooking was over! Without much fanfare, Tim/Tiffany and Stephen/Amanda were named the winners of the breakfast round, and Angelo/Tamesha and Alex/Ed were named the winners of the lunch round.

Judges' Table

Kenny/Kevin, Andrea/Kelly, and Arnold/Lynne competed head to head in the dinner round. Much to my surprise, team Andrea/Kelly won the entire challenge with their braised beef short ribs. They got their dish on the Hilton menu, and won trips to Italy and Spain as well. Wow. And I thought I had a good day because I found five bucks at Target.

Kenny/Kevin's short ribs didn't have enough glaze, and their horseradish sauce apparently wasn't horseradish-y enough for the judges. But in the end, Arnold and Lynne were both eliminated. They served undercooked pasta, and the judges felt their squid ink mussels dish would be too hard to sell to Hilton customers.

And that brought this week's episode to an end! What did you think, Serious Eaters? Last week, many of you said you found the season boring and the chefs uninspiring. Did you enjoy this week's episode? Were the right people sent home?

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